Thursday, January 31, 2008

Forbidden Fruit

If I didn't have issues with Victoria's Secret, I would buy this swimsuit in, like, a millisecond:

Is it not the cutest thing EVER?

Thanks to one of my BBFFs, Jo, for the tipoff!

Wednesday, January 30, 2008

An Open Letter to Goodwill

Hey Goodwill, are things? I'm good. I made a roast the other night. It came out well. Not well as in "well done," but well as in "good." It was actually medium rare. Wasn't sure about the grammar on that one.

OK, OK, we're both thinking it, so I'll just throw it out there: this is awkward. We haven't seen each other in a while, and when we do, it's not the same. To be honest, yeah, it was something you did. You've changed. I mean, I used to see you almost every day. I'd buy a thing or two, often vintage and/or designer, and then I'd wear it the next day and get tons of compliments and brag incessantly that I got it at Goodwill for two dollars. I once found a Moschino Cheap and Chic dress that you let me have for five bucks. FIVE BUCKS. I bought it and wore it even though it was so small that it squeezed my stomach fat into my neck. Life was sweet.

Life's not sweet anymore. Do you want to know why, 'will? Because you jacked up your prices through the damn roof. And not only that, but you've started pricing designer items way higher than regular items. Maybe I can still find a pair of Target heels for a few dollars, but those rad Michael Kors flats on the shelf next to them? Forty to fifty bucks, no matter the wear and tear.

This would be totally cool if you were a hip vintage boutique, but come on,
you're Goodwill. I once saw a woman squat and pee in your housewares aisle. Selling fifty dollar shoes in that kind of atmosphere just doesn't feel right.

See, you used to be about equality. Diligent shoppers could push aside a basic jacket to reveal a pristine DKNY peacoat, and both would have the same glorious, one-digit price tag. There were thrilling finds to be had! Gems to uncover! Bargains galore! Nowadays, even the basic jacket is ten or fifteen bucks, and the designer's too upsetting to discuss. And think about it--if a middle class shopaholic like myself can barely afford you, what about the people who shop at Goodwill not because they want to, but because they have to? You've lost sight of your purpose.

You once told me that your name was an old Celtic word meaning "good will." Think about that, my friend.

Much more of this, and I'll be forced to find comfort in the arms of your slow, unattractive brother, the Goodwill outlet. I guess I could get used to the pay-by-the-pound thing; actually, I kind of wish Nordstrom did things that way. But digging around in those bins is shit. Like, literally. It smells like poop.

Please don't make me do it.


Tuesday, January 29, 2008

Read! Read now while we're still trendy!

Newsday just named Daddy Likey to a short list of this season's "In" blogs. I'm wedged in a cozy nonsexual sandwich between The Sartorialist and I Am Fashion, served with a hefty side of Spinach. It's a nice place to be.

Monday, January 28, 2008

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

That's right! It's finally time for another edition of the popular feature Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, in which readers send in examples of waaaayyy too high hemlines and the valiant models who try to make them look normal.

It would be a gross understatement to say that Shopbop and American Apparel are repeat DSYC offenders. In fact, if they were people, they'd be those petty criminals on Cops who break the law so often that it becomes kind of quirky and charming, like, "A robbery at the 9th avenue 7-11? Sounds like Byron and Ziggy again!"

Here's the latest crop from these two crazy crooks:

A perfect example of Shopbop's MO: Normal length shirt. Worn as dress. Model hates her life.

Says Antonia: Either this girl had an overnight growth spurt or there'll be a chocha sighting in 5, 4, 3, 2, . . .

Charlotte spotted this profound lack of pants:

Are they serious with this shit? I feel cold when I look at her.

This is probably one of my favorite ones, ever:

Says Nicky: She is stone cold serious about showing her lady bits and trying to maintain that fierceness while wearing half a Glad bag as a bolero. And it originally cost $522! I love what Shopbop describes it as, "This is brilliant design unlike anything we've ever seen before." Ha!

Here's one that horrified me while I was innocently browsing and not exactly in the mood for porn:

The fact that it's listed under the "skirt" category says it all.

And American Apparel's gotta join in the fun too!

Ania found this gem:

It seems she figured out how to deal with this "dress."

Theoretically not a dress, says Cate, and yet presented as one...

THISCLOSE to chochular viewing.

Next, a few that were actually not from Shopbop or American Apparel (weird, I know!).

This dress is described as "in the style of Paris Hilton" on Seeing this girl's exposed vagina as she exits a car would also be in the style of Paris Hilton:

Says Jules: I'm not sure if she is hanging her head in despair or just keeping an eye on how much of an eyeful she is giving the photographer!

Rachel found a DSYC moment featuring Jonathan Rhys Meyers' girlfriend:

Check out the leg-crossing towards the camera on this one! Also, he's really creepy looking. [Editor's Note: Good god, yeah he is.]

Brittney found this extraordinarily awkward photo, which also illustrates a clear violation of my junior high school's hemline-below-fingertips dress code:

She says: If that slit went down any more or that hem went up any further, we might have
a chochaster on our hands. ...kind of like dis-aster...but with..okay you get it. Also look at what's going on in the shadow. It looks like the opposite of a chocha is happening...maybe a penicha?

I think I'll end with "penicha."

p.s. Keep them chocha sightings rolling in!!

Sunday, January 27, 2008

Comment of the Week

From Becky:

"It's like the speed of sound - once you've broken the emasculation barrier you can do it all the time, no fuss, no muss. It's just that tricky first time and all the nosebleeds that ensue."

Friday, January 25, 2008

The downside of living with your boyfriend in a one bedroom apartment... that there's nowhere to put this impossibly awesome wall decal without emasculating him.

I can't wait til we have enough money for a bigger place so I can usurp the second bedroom and fill it with girly wall decals and makeup and tampons! It'll be swell.

Marilyn die cut decal, $19, here.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

2 Tone Hoodie 2 Tough 2 Wear

Dear Ms. Winona, ambassador to excellent fashion advice,

I have been wanting to write you for quite sometime! However after the world boot crisis of '07...I figured I would have to come up with something rather pressing!

Being a girl who is usually a bit overdressed I really love this hoodie of mine. However, I am having a terrible time making an outfit of it since I am more partial to a nice skirt then a pair of pants. All my skirts I have now seem to do nothing for the silly thing, so I figure it was time to call in the professional for some tips!

Thanks in advance,

Yahtzee Enthusiast

Dear Yahtzee Enthusiast,

That is probably the most original pseudonym ever, and I didn't even think of it! I guess I should just retire...Don't retirees play a lot of Yahtzee? I've never played Yahtzee, actually. If I give you fashion advice, will you teach me?

But anyway, this is a challenging little hoodie indeed. I've spent many an hour admiring its whimsical beauty on American Apparel's website, but I'd never really thought about how it would work in an outfit. Ever since receiving your question, I've spent many an hour muttering to myself, "What the hell DO you wear with the damn thing??" My friends are starting to think I'm schizophrenic. In other news, I seem to have way too many free hours.

Back to the point: A hooded sweatshirt is by nature baggy and shapeless, so you want to wear something fitted on the bottom to showcase your hot bod. If you were to suddenly become partial to pants, I'd recommend a pair of slim jeans (yes, slim) with some bright colored flats, but if you're set on skirts (I'm such a skirt girl too), then go for a straight mini in a substantial fabric like denim.

Just in case you were like, "What's this denim mini she speaks of?"

I've always loved the combo of a slouchy top with a fitted mini skirt and tights (I kind of sort of maybe wear this combo every day...), and I think your sweatshirt will be perfect for it. A dark denim would look great with the colors of the hoodie, or you could go with distressed denim for a funkier feel. Add some gold tights and leather boots. Ooh! Or classic black tights with cobalt flats! Or blue tights and black wedges!
The possibilities are endless! The world is your oyster!*

I'm sure other readers own this hoodie, either in real life or fashion fantasy land--what do you guys wear it with? Any suggestions?

*Old writing adage: Two cliches are better than one.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Links I Likey

Note: These link posts are usually called Blogback Mountain, but (as a couple readers have pointed out) with Heath Ledger's death today, the reference doesn't feel right. So sad.

I'm not writing a real post right now because my computer chair is digging into my back and a sharp draft from the window is freezing my toes. Meanwhile, Amber is blogging from bed. Bitch.

A Cup of Jo has a heaping cup of willpower.

Queen Marie asserts that you needn't know if something is a cat or a bear to love it. I agree.

I just knew my little Jennine would hit it big!

Jello on Springs perfectly captures a girl fashion crush. Well, she didn't actually capture her, as that would involve trapping her in a cage and stealing her moccasins, but you know what I mean (I hope).

In related news, I kind of want to trap this girl in a cage and steal her hair. But that's not creepy at all.

Hot hair. A fur coat. And a pig. Possibly the coolest picture ever.

Hopefully Ms. Von Teese doesn't come out with a wondercorset.

Sunday, January 20, 2008

I love computer viruses. NOT!

To borrow the title of Pink's latest album, I'm Not Dead! A group of ravenous computer viruses got the better of my computer last week, rendering me internet-less (bad for blogging, even worse for an online class...I'm coming, SP 410 discussion group!). Today my techy brother finally wiped my hard drive--SO stressful--and reinstalled everything (although he refused to replace my late 90's version of Zoo Tycoon, the elitist bastard), so I think I'm good to go.

Speaking of going in the past tense, I went to IKEA for the first time this weekend. Wow, was that a life changer. This won't surprise anyone who's been there before, but I got a floor lamp for eight bucks! Eight bucks! And it hasn't even caught fire yet! The lamp is really boring; I only bought it because its name is NOT.

See, at IKEA all the products are labeled with what I assume are their Swedish titles (although those silly Swedes could slap Bröstvårta on the side of a shoe rack and I'd be like, "Well isn't that nice?"). The box my lamp came in says NOT on the side. This gives me great joy, as it has allowed me to do this, many times:

Me: I got this really cool thing at IKEA! NOT!
Friend: you didn't get anything?
Me: No, I got the best thing ever. NOT!
Friend: Couldn't find anything?
Me: NOT!
Friend: I'm not good with double negatives.
Me: Guess what I got at IKEA? NOT!
Friend: So..did you want me to guess? Or no?
Me: NOT!
Friend: Umm...
Me: It only cost me eight bucks! NOT!
Friend: I got a couch at IKEA for 8 bucks.
Me: Oh. wow.


Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Have Dress, Need Warmth

I just found a lonely little pile of reader mail from early November that somehow got skipped over in the frenzy of my move, and that's in addition to the current pile that needs to be answered, so the next week or two will include lots of Q&A catch up. Hopefully the readers who wrote these emails still read the blog, remember they wrote these emails in the first place, and haven't died of old age. (Hang on, Claire! Stay with us!)

First up:

Dear Winona,

I'm liking the dress with tights trend, but in most of the photos for this look the model is not wearing a jacket, a sweater... anything on top of the dress. What kind of warm outer layer would work with this look? Maybe a longer peacoat? I'm really at a loss.... but something warm is neccessary- I live in the northwest where we freeze our butts off all winter!

The dress I wear most often is generally shaped like this on top:

But the skirt is shorter, just a few inches above the knees. I usually wear black or graphite/heather opaque tights, with black flats.

I love your blog, you seem like the perfect person to ask!


Sleeveless in Seattle

PS: You can do the dress/tights thing with flats... right? They have itty bitty heels on 'em. I think they look good, but I just thought I'd ask the guru.

Dear Sleeveless,

First off, Northwest represent! (Yes, I'm throwing up an NW gang sign right now.) Where do you live? And why aren't we friends? We should def make a date to drink coffee in the rain together sometime.

But anyway, back to the matter at hand: I love me a dress with some tights! I wore a dress with tights just today, actually. And the outfit you describe sounds mega cute. Too cute, in fact, for us to be friends. So scratch that. (I'm trying to phase out all of my witty, pretty friends and replace them with boring, homely ones.)

Pretty much any outer layer your heart desires is going to look amazing with this. I love your peacoat idea, especially if the dress is a bright print and and long enough to peek out an inch or two below the coat's hem.

In other news, how cute is this girl's hair?
Tulle Double Breasted Wool Coat, $78,

I have a hot pink double breasted raincoat that I wear over dresses all the time. Especially if you're rockin an LBD (am I the only one who hates that acronym? It sounds positively venereal), it's easy and chic to throw on a bright coat.

This model kind of looks like she's waiting for her man to come home on their anniversary so she can throw open that bright little coat and say, "Ta-da! I'm naked!", but obviously you don't have to do that (unless you want to).
Gallery Belted Trench Coat, $148,

I also love the the juxtaposition of a sweet dress and cute tights with a chunky old man cardigan (a more subdued version of the "own the ugly thing" I discussed recently).

This guy's a little douchey, but I dig the sweater.
Tasso Elba Button Front Cardigan, $59, (try the men's section in thrift stores for more cheap, funky cardigans)

If you haven't already, check out Ambika's recent coat posts for more outerwear options from another soggy northwest babe. (Here and here)

p.s. FOR SURE you can do tights with flats! Do tights with anything! Except cocaine. Don't do cocaine.

Monday, January 14, 2008

Advanced Fashion Quiz

One of the items pictured below is a pair of Marc by Marc Jacobs Mary Jane Boots, which retail for $725. The other is a prosthetic leg.

Can you tell which is which?

Thursday, January 10, 2008

Yes, Thinking Bloggers Write About "Anaconda"

I just watched Anaconda, and while it left me feeling inspired and refreshed in many ways (Jon Voight+cargo pants+totally random Spanish accent=cure for all ills), it seems to have zapped my fashion inspiration (did I mention the cargo pants?). Therefore, this is the perfect opportunity to finally respond to my being deemed a "Thinking Blogger" by the regal Kingdom of Style, the adorable La Petite Fashionista, and the inimitable Wendy B. Thank you so much, my lovelies! I'm not totally sure if this short survey is officially attached to the Thinking Blogger thing, but I'm going to go with it because it doesn't involve cargo pants and I don't feel like thinking:

What's the story behind the name of your blog?

Isn't it obvious? Not in the least? Oh.

Well, when I decided to start a fashion blog, I spent days scribbling title options in my notebook. I knew the vast importance of this decision: My title had to perfectly capture my personality and subject matter. It had to be unique, catchy, and match my writing style. It had to be chic, but not snobby; hip, but not full of itself. One day, amidst this early blogging agony, I plopped down on the couch and turned on Animal Planet. A guy in safari gear was holding a cobra and talking about the potency of its venom when suddenly the snake lunged at the camera. I jumped onto the back of the couch and screeched, "DADDY NO LIKEY!"


I scrawled my awkward phrase down on the page. Crossed out the "no" (too negative). And there it was: my title. It accomplished nothing that I'd hoped for, was confusing at best, and sexually suggestive at worst. It was perfect.

Why did you start blogging in the first place?

I started reading fashion blogs a few months before I started my own. Of course I loved the classics like Go Fug Yourself, Letters to Marc Jacobs (may it rest in peace), and the Manolo, but I was coming across way too many fashion blogs that were just...bad. I saw a lot of mindless materialism, misogyny (apparently "m" was a theme), and boring writing. I felt like fashion blogs were going the way of fashion magazines and selling women short. This pissed me off, so I decided to start my own. (I wanted to start my own magazine, but initial research suggested that would cost a few extra mill and the selling of my soul to Time Warner.)

I so don't mean this to sound like I am god's gift to blogging or anything, although there are tons of blogs out there now that I would consider god's gift to blogging--many of which are sitting in the link list to your right, waiting to be clicked on...

What has been your best blogging experience? Worst?

The best would no doubt be the connections I've made. I have huge girl crushes on about fifty of my fellow bloggers and I love getting to know them better. It's so cool to talk to rad ladies around the world who I wouldn't have even known existed if not for this wee little blog (see? I wouldn't have even said "wee" there if not for my Scottish Queenies!). And not to brag, but I have the coolest, smartest, funniest readers in the world. Seriously, ask my boyfriend how many times per day I randomly start cooing and giggling about how much I love you guys and how awesome you are and how I wish we could all live together on a commune with lots of closet space and pizza.

Worst blogging experience...hmm...probably every night that I don't sit down to blog until 2 in the morning and then I don't finish til 3:30 or 4 and then I take a shower and finally reach my bed around 5 and good god why don't I write posts in advance?

What do you think will happen to your blog in 2008?

Maybe Mindy Kaling will read it and invite me to move to Los Angeles to be her best friend and eat prosciutto sandwiches with her until the writers strike ends and then she'll let me write for The Office? Just a thought...

Damn it's 4 in the morning...I'm so predictable...anyway, I shall tag A Cup of Jo, Painfully Hip, Lalla Lydia, Cuffington, and Fashion by Bowie.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

When Life Calls for Boots

Dear Winona,

As I have to walk about 30 minutes total everyday in the "brisk" Canadian winter weather (as frigid as -40 somedays), I need some pretty warm winter boots. Most people revert to UGGs, but I just can't bring myself to wear them. For the past couple of years I've been using some calf-height plain suede boots, but the soles have long since worn away (meaning I will fall over if someone so much as brushes me) and the inner soles actually cause my feet to bleed. My question is whether you can suggest any UGG alternatives?

Please and Thank you,
Frostbitten Frida

Dear Frida,

Your email reminds me of my favorite Chinese proverb: "When your feet are bleeding, it's time to buy new boots."

My prescription for your problem is not exactly pretty. In fact, just the opposite. For your situation, I recommend swinging the pendulum away from pretty, all the way past UGGS, and into full-on ugly. In a follow-up email, you mentioned that these boots will mostly be for walking to and from places, so you won't be wearing them to, like, your job as an usher at the opera house. This is the perfect opportunity to go for warm, go for comfy, go for ugly, and just own it.

My favorites happen to be the ones I received for Christmas: classic Sorels.

Chic? Not quite. Warm, waterproof, comfy as hell? Yes. I've worn them almost every day since December 25th--with scrunched up jeans and wool socks, with girly dresses, with hot pink tights. Heck, their company motto is "When Life Calls for Boots"--your life is callin' for boots, homegirl!

Here are my Sorels in action (as part of an outfit that would probably result in the loss of your extremities if worn on a -40 day, but I took these pictures on the warmest, nicest day in Oregon winter history, sorry):

Warm feet are a must when fixing your hair on a bench.

Forgive the bulging belly; my Spanx were in the laundry.

Oregonians are famous for our love of North Face jackets and our lack of balance.

My outfit (which is also what I wore to my new year's party, if you were dying to know) would have been way cuter and warmer with the addition of thick, pink socks, but when I told my photographer boyfriend to hang on while I put some on, he said, "No! Let's just get this over with!" (Ah, the glamorous life of a fashion blogger...)

Still not convinced? Check out this lovely lass, who's about a hundred times more stylish than me and seems equally enamored of her warm, fuzzy footwear.

And if you still absolutely positively hate this idea, check out my other winter boot posts here and here.

Godspeed, my bloody-footed friend.

These boots of my dreams (and maybe yours?) are available at Nordstrom (yes, seriously), Zappos, and tons of other places for around a hundred bucks. Also on Ebay for $30ish. Totally. worth. it.

Monday, January 07, 2008

Saturday, January 05, 2008

Friday, January 04, 2008

My Subconscious Is Way Cooler Than I Am

Do you ever dream that you're at a really cool party hanging out with Agathe from Style Bytes and you're totally on and you're both laughing it up and drinking champagne and repeatedly complimenting each other's outfits because of course you both look AMAZING and then Robert Downey Jr. offers you a jelly donut and you're like, "Why thank you, Robert, this is delicious," and he's like, "YOU are delicious, dollface," and just when you and Agathe and Robert decide to go dancing with Queen Michelle, you wake up in your Oregon apartment, eat some oatmeal, watch two episodes of Home Improvement, and think, "Wow, this is anticlimactic."?

No? Yeah, me neither...

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Stick It to The Man: Read Daddy Likey All Day!

Grumpy to be back at work after the holiday break? Want to stick it to the man by reading fashion blogs all day on company time? Then check out these Daddy Likey highlights from the late, great '07:

In the process of satirizing the extreme layering trend, I nearly suffocated:

Three Words: Inadvertently. Ask. Daddy Likey. Oh shit that was four words.

Bitching out Vera Wang.

Martin went to Fashion Week--try to find him in the second pic.

How to lose weight? Be 19.

I psychoanalyzed myself to get to the bottom of my enduring love for Abercrombie & Fitch.

I talked about junior high a lot.

Then you talked about junior high a lot.

The debut of the Five Men. (And perhaps the first Willow reference ever used on a fashion blog?)

How to wear a scarf without looking like an English teacher

Coats for douchebags. (And nondouchebags.)

A douchebag with a good vocabulary called me "vacuous."

I taught you how to fake-tan (caution: disturbingly detailed description of pants-less crabwalk included)

We showed some leg for Jesus.

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha is on its way to becoming part of the popular vernacular.

Premium Jeans as Mutual Funds


A swimsuit that doesn't make me want to kill myself? Yep, it exists.

Eeeeeeep I love Etsy!

But Anthropologie is an asshole.

Princess Bride chic.

I wrote about growing up as the fat kid. You guys wrote 41 (and counting) of my favorite comments ever.

Thank you thank you thank you.

Wednesday, January 02, 2008

2008 Is So Hot Right Now

I hope everyone had a wonderful new year! I spent the evening at a mustache party with some of my favorite people in the world.

As for my required facial hair, I decided to go with the classic trucker/Morgan Spurlock:

Surprisingly flattering, non?

My boyfriend was aiming for Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood, but everyone said he looked more like Mario from Super Mario Bros:

This is a candid photo. He always looks like that.

Here are my friends M and L posing with the matching stuffed mustaches they both purchased on the exact same night in different cities without consulting each other, all thanks to this post:

God they are cute. New Year's Resolution #63: Find uglier friends to make myself look better.

On that note, wow is this an unfortunate picture:

This was taken just after I lost the wine tasting contest (I drink so infrequently that my answers included, "red?," "Syriana," and "Ham"). Luckily, the hosts provided a prize for the loser: a Nelson Mandela finger puppet! It may be tough to see in the picture, but my strange expression is an attempt to match Lil' Nelson's. And the paper stuck to my forehead says loser. And why am I showing this to thousands of people again?
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