Monday, November 30, 2009

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

Yes, it's finally time for this week's belated-but-awesome round of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, the feature in which Daddy Likey readers submit examples of short hemlines gone awry (or about to go awry), or a blatant disregard for pants (or bottoms of any kind, actually).

A word to concerned chocha spotters: If you don't see your submission here yet, please don't fret! I have quite the chocha backlog in my inbox (if the FBI ever has reason to investigate my computer, I'm sure this will cause one of their agents to dramatically shake their head and sigh, "We're dealing with one sick perp."), but I swear all of them will have their time in the sun. Or internet. Same deal.

Let's kick things off with a prime example from reader Anita:

She says: A chocharific Rag and Bone western shirt dress--sure to spook horses everywhere.

Here's a model who still needs to learn a thing or two about posing in a too-short shirt:

Says Claire: It's kind of a nice tunic, until you notice she HAS NOTHING ON HER BOTTOM HALF.

Oh American Apparel, what would DSYC be without you?

Says Kristen: For some reason she's upside down on a glass table, in a one piece, waving her chocha in the air like she just don't care with an expression implying that she either does care, or she's losing blood circulation in her head. Or both, you never know.

And another AA special from Kamee:

This poor girl's face says it all. [Editor's note: And her nude leggings make me want to cry.]

Fabulous reader Ida submitted this one:

She says: I don't know whether anyone has mentioned this UK girlband to you. They are called "The Saturdays." It seems to me that they have the tendency to wear super short skirts, not only on Saturdays but, like, everyday. Their first single is called "Up." How aptly named?

Oh Jesus:

Jackee perfectly sums it up: I love how they don't even pretend it's a dress. I don't love how that girl looks so young and generally coerced, but I guess that's modeling:

Next two are from Thomas W.:

He says: Is she wearing a t-shirt over an unbuttoned shirt? Without pants??? [Editor's note: I think those might be pockets from jean shorts cut so short they probably resemble a denim thong, but the world may never know.]

And: Chocha coverage at an all time low. Or high, I guess.

The lovely and talented Ariel sent in an nontraditional chocha submission, which is awesome just the same:

She says: It makes you wonder...if that's going in with the back, what kind of horror is going on with the front? A good rule: if you don't know how to operate a bikini, don't try it out the first time in public.

Anne-Marie caught a magazine blatantly promoting the Show-cha Your Chocha look:

She says: I feel quite indecent sending this onto you but if you put your fingers over your eyes it ain't so bad!

The following three awesome finds--plus astute commentary--come courtesy of the lovely Astra, who came across a particularly chochafied red carpet event:

Katherine Kelly from Coronation Street tries the old 'hide-it-with-my-bag manoeuver'. Funnily enough I have an old halloween cloak made of the same faux-velvet material, if she'd called me I could have made her a decent length dress that'd look just as tacky.

Then there's someone called Kaya Scodelario who I've never heard of. She looks great and I love her outfit - I just hope she doesn't sit down!

And finally there's ex-Coronation Street actress Angela Griffin, who breaks the "legs or cleavage" rule by showing both...and her chocha!

JoAnna sent me an email titled, "Don't cry, little chocha!" which quickly turned my morning email checking routine into a messy affair involving oatmeal being LOLed all over my keyboard. Here's why:

Says JoAnna: While the length is arguably modest enough to wear in public, it's almost see-through, and I'm very concerned about that tear-drop appliqued to the front. Why is the silhouette crying? And why is it so close to her crotch?

And to that I say: These are questions for the ages, my dear girl, questions for the ages...

Awesome Atomic Affordable Etsy Find of the Week!

The description for this item says, "Check out this space age atomic shirt pin." There's not much I can add to that perfectly eloquent little phrase, except to say it's three bucks, and wearing it would confuse people and improve your nerdy street cred. My little brother, who was recently mislabeled as a "math nerd" at school for having a human rights campaign equality sticker on his binder, would love it.

p.s. Spent the long weekend giving my friend Nicci a whirlwind tour of Portland, but I'm back to a regular blogging schedule this week. Keep an eye out for a Don't Show-cha Your Chocha post later today!

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Blogback Mountain!

The Sunday Best defends so-called "chick flicks" by listing his top 5 worst "bro films." As the former president of the Banks High School Jet Li Fan Club, I do take offense at one of his selections, but overall it's a solid post.

How to Tuck Your Pants Into Boots

The Big Piece of Cake is running a humongous, incredible, Oprah-level giveaway series right now. I'm especially obsessed with the Bee Gee Bag, but I'd happily win anything she's featured (or one of everything, please). Go enter!

Recently discovered Work With What You've Got--totally loving it.

Super Kawaii Mama has created the most awesome vintage-inspired gym outfits you ever did see.

Christine is like a real life Kate Spade ad, only cuter.

Now that is one badass manicure. But I wouldn't expect anything less from WendyB.

I think Princess Poochie did a great job with this respectful but thought-provoking post about a fashion blogger's new shoe line for Urban Outfitters.

So awesome: If Drawings Were Photographs

The superfantastic Sara Zucker has started up her personal style blog, Sara Wears Clothes, again after quite a bit of begging and pleading from me, and I'm really pumped about it. Please show her some love!

Speaking of blog resurrections I'm pumped about, my always-clever friend Meg just started up a new site called Award-Winning Weekends, packed with zany ideas and activities to spice up your days off.

"The real beauty of menswear is in the details." Hear, hear!

I don't usually like to be pushy, but BUY THIS CALENDAR. It will change your life. Guaranteed.

Things that depress me: Ken Burns documentaries, my cowlick, and the fact that there are no women writers on staff of the major late night comedy shows.

Want these so, so bad.

And in book news, I had a couple dreams come true this week. First off, Poetic & Chic posted a great review of Closet Confidential and invited me to fill out a Proust Questionnaire, which I may or may not have been preparing for since I read my first Vanity Fair as a confused small child.

If that wasn't exciting enough, the hilarious blog Oddly Enough shared some kind words about my book and allowed me to write snarky captions for a couple of crazy runway photos. Dream realized!

And finally, this adorable picture of S from Academic Chic holding her copy of Closet Confidential in Germany reminds me of that feature in Glamour magazine where readers hold up their Glamour magazines in cool places, like underwater in the hull of the Titanic, and write things like, "Here I am researching an iconic shipwreck and getting sweet tips about this season's nailpolish trends!"

But this picture is a thousand times better. For obvious reasons. Happy birthday, beautiful, and thanks for making my day!

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Tuesday Top 5: Grown-Up Hair Accessory Challenge

Dear Daddy Likey,

I recently cut my hair very short, and I like wearing clips and headbands in it (because it's fun and also so people know I'm not a boy). Here's the problem -- most of what's out there for "hair fancies" can be a little juvenile. This is not to say I don't love a good bow or flower because, believe me, I do, and I've got plenty. But now I'm looking for some accessories that look a little more grown up, shall we say. (I'm 28.) Any suggestions?

Sheared and Alone

Dear Sheared,

While I may be the exact wrong person to ask, because 1. I buy most of my hair accessories in the baby shower section at The Dollar Tree, and 2. My last post on hair accessories included a clip made to look like a swarm of butterflies has landed on your head, I'm happy to give it my best shot:

Top 5 Hair Accessories That Won't Get You Sent Home From Work for Breaking Child Labor Laws

So elegant, right? Plus it's from Banana Republic, which is a store for Responsible Grown-Ups.

Studded. Badass. Cheap. Those are three awesome adjectives.

These bobby pins resemble the kind of fine china that many people keep hidden away in a kitchen cabinet. Why not wear it in your hair instead?

Yes, this is technically a bow headband, but the messiness and muted color palette make it much more chic and adult than your run-of-the-mill infant head wrap.

This vintage barrette is tiny--just one inch--so it won't overwhelm even the shortest, sprightliest haircuts.

Readers--feel free to weigh in on your favorite responsible, mature hair accessory choices! Have you found any pieces that strike the right balance of playful and grown-up? Or are you loyal to your giant pink sequined bow headband?

Monday, November 23, 2009

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week!

Clare, one of my favorite bloggers/people (as opposed to my favorite bloggers/beavers), recently started an Etsy shop called Objects Found, and it's full of amazingly intricate and affordable multi-strand necklaces. Seriously, I don't know how she does it. The few times I've tried to make, like, a friendship bracelet, I ended up tangling myself into a sad little pile of chains and thread and beads and had to wait for my boyfriend to get home to let me out and buy me a milkshake.

Also check out her guppy necklace. So cute.

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

It's time for this week's installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, in which Daddy Likey readers fight the good fight against the wearing of shirts as dresses, the hoisting of hems above the ladyparts, and the painfully awkward posing models must do in order to avoid showing said ladyparts.

Let's start things off with this gem from Ashley:

She says (and I agree): Frankly, this leaves me a little uncomfortable.

Next up, from Sally:

Ah, kate moss. A woman who just loves her chocha so much, she puts it out there for everyone to bask in its chocha glow, at a chocha parade. In a nude dress.

Reader Paisley turned in frequent offender Sienna Miller:

She says: Of note is Sienna's purse, which serves double duty in that it is used as a "hem pad" to keep the hemline firmly pressed in place lest a lucky photographer capture a photo for a different genre of "September Issue".

From the inimitable Thom Wong:

Also, this terrifying observation: AND she's riding a bike!!!

The next two are from Devora:

She says: This first one, that looks like a cross between old lady stockings and a mosquito net, is very unfortunate. I want to give her a parka and some sweatpants, the poor thing!

And this one? Wow, don't shift to the left there, lady.

Odette asks: Does it count if a dress might be a decent length but the model has it hiked up like she's going to the bathroom?

And I say, yes, Odette, it definitely counts.

Summer sent in the following three images, adding: Was just looking through The Sartorialist for some style inspiration and decided that even Mr. Sartorialist enjoys a good chocha-riffic ensemble, as long as it's chic-chocha.

Incidentally, "chic-chocha" is my new favorite phrase.

From hesitant but vigilant reader Pam:

She says: I hate to send you this, because I have a mad girl crush on Diane Kruger and would defend her honor, spindly legs, and even her choice to appear in movies with Nicolas Cage, but this picture from French Elle is too chochariffic not to share.

Leva found this audacious almost-chocha:

Wow. That is just a shirt with a belt. Yep, just a shirt.

The lovely Clare submitted this charming photo:

She says: This is far too much chocha for a 15-year-old girl. I shudder to think what the cotton string-lookin'-thing is hanging out of her "dress". At first I'm thinking it's a tampon string, but I don't know if Taylor is even old enough to be getting our favorite monthly visitor. Blerg.

Reader Katie gets extra credit for submitting a video of DANCING CHOCHAS:

She says: It makes me giggle, because this girl is in an incredibly tight chocha squeezer, and yet she tries miserably to lift her leg! [Editor's note: actually "tight chocha squeezer is my new favorite phrase.]

And finally, Angelica sent me something so incredible that it improved my life by a factor of 100: a Don't Show-cha Your Chocha t-shirt design by her talented friend Rowena!

Says Angelica: I thought the "Don't Show-Cha Your Chocha" feature on your blog was hilarious, so I got my friend Rowena to design me a "Don't Show-Cha Your Chocha" t-shirt. It's best worn while walking on Broadway in SoHo, or on the Upper East Side.

Seriously, how awesome is that? Thanks so much, ladies! I'm definitely gonna have this printed on a tee and wear it around Portland's west side, if that's permissible. Pictures to come!

Friday, November 20, 2009

High Fashion Haiku: Perfect for gravy spills!

Thanksgiving Style Tip:
Wear a napkin as a shirt
for easy cleanup!

Donna Karan Belted Mikado Bustier, $1500 (well, you might want to find a cheaper oversized napkin).

p.s. Thanks, Sarah W.!

Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Top 5 Sources of Fashion Inspiration That Won't Ruin Your Self-Worth

I love fashion magazines as much as the next girl. And by that I mean I don't really love them that much, because they make me feel fat and poor.

Here's the conundrum: these publications provide a good source of style tips, tricks, and ideas, so I hate to give them up altogether, but is a bit of inspiration worth the hits to my body confidence (Thighs are so out this season!) and savings account ($1200 is actually a reasonable price for a diamond-encrusted flannel romper!)?

I think not.

Top 5 Sources of Fashion Inspiration That Won't Ruin Your Self-Worth

Wardrobe Remix
This vast (nearly 15,000 members strong!), constantly updated collection of real outfits photos from real people of all shapes, sizes, ages, and budgets is a treasure trove of style inspiration. Scroll through the pictures for new styling ideas or better yet, join the group and challenge yourself to post pictures of your own outfits.

Fabric Stores
As you may recall from this post, I'm kinda sorta learning to sew, which means I've recently discovered the unadulterated joy of a trip to the fabric store. Meandering through the aisles of bright colors, sumptuous textures, and pretty patterns reminds me of fashion's exciting possibilities.

A fabric store has none of the negatives of a clothing store--no weird sizes, unflattering fits, or judgmental store clerks--which allows you to detach from your usual insecurities and revel in your sensory experience: What color makes your heart race? What patterns make you smile? Which fabric makes you want to buy a few yards, construct a crude robe, and never take it off? Try to bring the answers to those questions into your wardrobe, and I think you'll be pleased with the result.

Already Pretty
Fashion blogs in general are a great power-to-the-people alternative to traditional fashion magazines, but Sally's masterful mix of practical wardrobe advice and self-love manifestos strikes the perfect chord with me. On more than one occasion her posts have made me cry--in a good way. On more than one occasion Vogue has made me cry--in a bad way. Sally wins.

Leaving your comfort zone and being exposed to new cultures is inspiring in every way, but it can be especially stimulating to your sense of style. Whether you're people-watching in Tokyo or just enjoying a quick day trip to a neighboring city, pay attention to the different ways people adorn themselves and which looks you really respond to.

If you're too poor to actually travel, flip through National Geographics at the library or watch travel shows on PBS or read this post or live vicariously through a friend (ever since I saw my friend Lydia's gorgeous Morocco vacation pictures, I've been scouring ebay for embroidered tunics and beaded belts). There are a million ways, subtle or grand, to bring the beauty of other cultures into your daily dress. So do it!

Old Movies
A little cliche, sure, but has anyone on earth ever watched Sabrina and not been moved to step up their fashion game?

Where do you find your style inspiration?

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Martin's Menage a Trois

I've recently noticed a surge in readership around these parts (welcome, you adorable new readers, you!), which is super exciting, but I think it also necessitates an updated explanation of Martin Sheen, our raccoon fashion blogging correspondent. So, here's what you need to know:

Martin is a raccoon. He likes shiny things. He lives in a dumpster. And sometimes I let him write for Daddy Likey.

There, now you're all caught up! Take it away, Martin--weave us a beautiful dream with your elegant words and witticisms!

I'm thinking of having a threesome.


Raccoon mittens, $26, here. Thanks so much for the tip, Elise!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week: Not Santa Cat

Let me throw down some heavy truth for you right now: I own a Christmas sweater.

Not just a regular Christmas sweater, either, but a Christmas sweater with pom poms, bell sleeves, a rickrack neckline and a large embroidered image of a smiling cat wearing a Santa hat. And I bought this sweater in 1998, before hipsters existed, before irony was a style, before the inception of the "ugly sweater party" (fashion historians generally agree that the first of these celebrations occurred circa 2002).

I bought this sweater because I couldn't get over the cuteness and hilarity of a smiling Santa Cat. I bought it completely earnestly and with the spirit of Christmas in my heart.

But you know what? If I were to take the advice/threats/bribes of those I love and set the Santa Cat sweater aside (or on fire, maybe) to make a more subtle holiday fashion statement, I'd totally wear something like these pretty holiday earrings:

They don't scream holiday cheer like a Santa Cat sweater does, but they do politely suggest it, and wouldn't they pair beautifully with a simple black dress to make the holiday party rounds? I might have to get myself a pair. With permission from Santa Cat, of course.

P.S. Thanks so much to Katrina for the tip about fabulous Etsy shop City Noise Vintage!

UPDATED to respond to demands for a Santa Cat photo: First of all, you guys crack me up. Second of all, are my words not worth a thousand pictures, or something like that? Third of all, fine, I'll try my best to dig it out of my Christmas decor boxes and post some photo evidence for ya.

Friday, November 13, 2009

For the Love of Books, Donuts, and Werewolves

Sorry for those of you who live nowhere near Oregon, but I have another book event coming up tomorrow that I'd love my local peeps to come to. If you live far away, feel free to ignore the content of this post and look at this funny werewolf comic instead:

Now, for you P-Town people:

Closet Confidential Reading/Signing/FREE DONUTS

Where: Tanasbourne Barnes & Noble
18300 NW Evergreen Pkwy
Beaverton, OR

When: Saturday, November 14th, at 2PM.

Please come hear me read from my new book, Closet Confidential: Style Secrets Learned the Hard Way! I'll also be signing books (my own or Salman Rushdie's), and would be happy to absolve you of your sins if requested (I'm an ordained minister, so bring 5 bucks and I'll see what I can do). In addition, there is a 52% chance of free donuts.

A portion of the proceeds from book sales on Saturday will be going to support the Banks Public Library, so even if you hate my book, you should still come and buy something.

This is a great opportunity for my lovely friends who weren't able to make it to the launch party. I'd love to see you there!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Blogback Mountain!

Please check out the sweet Closet Confidential review and giveaway over at Annie Spandex!

The lovely and talented Ambika has been amassing some pretty impressive Etsy creds, and I'm so happy for her! In related news, have you been to her shop lately?

This made me laugh.

Last week I professed my undying love for my unflattering blanket sweater. This week E debuts
an extremely flattering version.

A perfect illustration of style for a conservative office vs. a creative office (bonus: both examples include the same pair of badass red ankle boots!).

WendyB defends LadyG.

Queen Michelle + Low Energy + Cold Sores = Still way more glamorous than me. Damnit.

This hat is, like, my life dream come true.

Jennine wore her wedding dress today
. Her wedding was not today. She looks totally fabulous today. And she makes a wonderful point about wearing special things for no particular reason.

I've been listening to a lot of Dixie Chicks lately, which has been giving me mad urges to road trip to Nashville. Becky is actually going there (although I don't think her trip is Dixie Chicks-motivated) and she looks adorable.

Absolutely positively no doubt the most badass dress that's ever existed. (Except maybe the hamburger dress featured in this post. Maybe.)

is my new fave color.

This one time my brother and I were driving on the country road near my parents' house, and a bear ran out of the bushes and I was like, "LOCK THE DOORS!" Chelsea's cute little story about a prancing Swedish moose is better.

The first and only blog post about oatmeal that made me laugh out loud.

I love this inspiring take on "Would You Rather?"

Sarah's post about text tattoos made me want to get one even more than I already did, which was A LOT. Now I can barely sleep and find myself scrawling profound quotes on my forearms with sharpie markers all the time.

SO pretty!

That clever lil' Sally has some invaluable tips for organizing your closet.

And finally, What I Wore Today (drawings only)--this is the coolest thing ever and I fully intend to participate. Thanks, Maggie, for sending it my way!

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Advanced Fashion Quiz: Sexually Satisfying Accessories Edition

One of the items pictured below is a $1,385 Emilio Pucci clutch. The other is $140 Swedish vibrator.

Can you tell which is which?

No, really, can you? Because confusing the two could prove disastrous. Or awesome.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Tuesday Top 5: If It Were Legal I'd Marry My Hat

A few weeks ago two of my brothers and my boyfriend and I took a trip down to Eugene, Oregon. I'd been there many times before, but somehow each time I was busy with other things like eating fish tacos and losing a race to a pancake, so I've never had a chance to check out the city's selection of vintage stores.

On this trip I made shopping a priority and dragged the guys around to a few different places, all of which were amazing, but I had the best luck at Oak Street Vintage, where I scored a cherry-red 1960's raincoat for ten bucks, and this hat, which I adore so much I wrote a list about it:

Top 5 Reasons I Love My New Hat

1. It's dark green, which is almost as versatile as black but adds a subtle pop of color to any outfit.

2. Adjusting it like so means I only have to do makeup on one eye:

3. The frayed tag says "Made in Italy for Bloomingdales," a fact I brag about to random people on the bus, and they are always impressed.

4. Oh man, it's gonna take my karaoke rendition of Carly Simon's "You're So Vain" to a whole new level.

5. I can pull down the brim and walk around feeling glamorous and incognito, at least until someone taps me on the shoulder at the grocery store and says, "Winona? Is that you? Why aren't you wearing pants?"

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