Saturday, February 21, 2009
An Imagined Conversation Between Myself and This GAP Model
Me: It appears that you're wearing two sweaters.
Model: So? It's cool.
Me: Actually it seems quite warm.
Model: It's "the new cardigan" from the GAP.
Me: Yeah, OK, but I kind of feel like you should choose one of these new cardigans, or at least mix up your layering with "the new vest" or "the new light jacket" or something. I mean, two of the exact same sweater?
Model: It comes in 22 colors.
Me: You're not going to wear 22 of them at once, are you?
Model: Maybe. I'm not going to rule it out.
Me: Are you from Chicago?
Model: No, why?
Me: Well, this one time I was talking to my friend Whitney, who went to college in Chicago, and she told me her routine for getting ready during the winters there, and it was absolutely horrifying. I'm pretty sure it included at least 23 sweaters.
Me: Yes! You should have heard her describe it. She was like, "First I put on some leggings and an undershirt. Then a set of thermal underwear over that. Then flannel pants. Then a turtleneck fleece, a wool sweater, and a puffy vest. Then leg warmers, arm warmers, a ski mask, ear muffs, a rabbit fur hat, gloves, mittens, the sheepskin rug from my living room and my quilted down jacket."
Me: Right?? And that was barely half of it. Her outfit description lasted for like ten minutes, and by the end she was stuffing her shirt with throw pillows to brave her walk to the bus stop and she was STILL COLD.
Model: I'm cold just thinking about it.
Me: God, me too. Can I borrow one of your sweaters?