Saturday, February 21, 2009

An Imagined Conversation Between Myself and This GAP Model

Me: It appears that you're wearing two sweaters.

Model: So? It's cool.

Me: Actually it seems quite warm.

Model: It's "the new cardigan" from the GAP.

Me: Yeah, OK, but I kind of feel like you should choose one of these new cardigans, or at least mix up your layering with "the new vest" or "the new light jacket" or something.
I mean, two of the exact same sweater?

Model: It comes in 22 colors.

Me: You're not going to wear 22 of them at once, are you?

Model: Maybe. I'm not going to rule it out.

Me: Are you from Chicago?

Model: No, why?

Me: Well, this one time I was talking to my friend Whitney, who went to college in Chicago, and she told me her routine for getting ready during the winters there, and it was absolutely horrifying. I'm pretty sure it included at least 23 sweaters.

Model: Twenty-three??

Me: Yes! You should have heard her describe it. She was like, "First I put on some leggings and an undershirt. Then a set of thermal underwear over that. Then flannel pants. Then a turtleneck fleece, a wool sweater, and a puffy vest. Then leg warmers, arm warmers, a ski mask, ear muffs, a rabbit fur hat, gloves, mittens, the sheepskin rug from my living room
and my quilted down jacket."

Model: Jesus.

Me: Right?? And that was barely half of it. Her outfit description lasted for like ten minutes, and by the end she was stuffing her shirt with throw pillows to brave her walk to the bus stop and she was STILL COLD.

Model: I'm cold just thinking about it.

Me: God, me too. Can I borrow one of your sweaters?


Kate Coveny Hood said...

The "new cardigan" looks strikingly similar to sweaters that I was folding when I worked at the Gap in 1987... Do it also come in "ocean" and all sherbert (not sorbet) colors?

Anonymous said...

girly girl i laughed out loud.

freakin' chicago winters! agh!

WendyB said...

Wearing 22 sweaters at once is a good idea. I hate it when I see a tantalizing rainbow of sweater colors and have to pick just one. In black.

April said...

LMFAO this is hilarious!

Whit said...

It's all true. Every word of it. I still have the rug.

Hah! My verification word is "deflu", which is what you're liable to catch if you're not adequitely bundled.

Bekah said...

ooh, those look quite nice and comfy
I might have to wear 22 at once, too..1 because it's canada and it's freezing, and 2 because I love cardigans :)

SaturdayJane said...

Do 22 sweater colors even exist? I mean, those colors are going to have to get NUANCED to pull that off. Red. Dark red. Nose after too many margaritas red.

Poochie said...

That is why I did not move to Chicago when I met my soon-to-be husband.... well, that and my in-laws.


Apocalypstick said...

I still stuff throw pillows in my shirt. Maybe you thought they were something else.

Katie said...

oh my god, whitney is totally right about chicago. that's my routine every day between november first and halfway through april. it takes me at least 20 minutes to layer up (and down). some weekends, its just easier to stay inside and play scrabble and watch 'king of queens'.

Dreampuff said...

To be fair,
The two cardigans are not exactly the same...
They do have different buttons.
besides, I cannot begin to say how many times Boston weather has fooled me into thinking I need a down coat (Throwpillows included)
Only for 12pm to hit and I'm sweating through my shirt!!

GAP may just be on to something.
But maybe I just need Dove Clinical strength.

Robyn said...

I must agree -- there is nothing new about those cardigans.

Anonymous said...

The model would get along brilliantly with some of the kids at my college.

Anonymous said...

are those sweaters sewn together? or are you supposed to like buy a size small for the first one and then a size medium for the one over it? this seems like too much work.

Lisa said...

Dubious layering aside, I do like the colour combo of pink and orange.

Mummerina said...

hahahaha! love this.
you realise though, that a model would probably have not even realised she was wearing two sweaters! ok...very sterotypical of me

Kim said...

When I saw that Gap ad in this month's Lucky issue, I showed my husband and asked him (rhetorically because he couldn't care less about things like this) "What exactly is NEW about this cardigan - it's a sweater and it has buttons? There are only so many colors in the world and these colors are what I wore in high school in the 80's. And back then we also wore two different pairs of socks as well!"
He looked at me blankly and then said, "You're about to go to the Gap, aren't you?"
He knows me so well.

Bex said...

Hahhah the Chicago winter dressing routine sounds about right to me!

Jessi said...


Anonymous said...

that's my routine every day between november first and halfway through april.

Anonymous said...

Hmmm... The only reason that look is cool is because she resembles an ice lolly.
What a fun post!

Sonia Luna said...

It escapes me how those cardigans are new, they just look like run of the mill cardigans that you can pick up at Pennies [cheap Irish department store] any day of the week. Is it a new take on the twin set maybe?
Are they sewn together?

Anonymous said...

Har har.

Layering two identical cardigans makes her look a bit like she's in alter ego mode, but on the BRINK of transforming into superhero mode. Peeling off that outer layer of boring orange to reveal her triumphant red core!

Or something.

Erin said...

When I was in high school in Chicago, I almost always wore flannel pants under my jeans (I was lucky to be way skinny back then). It was so effing cold that I didn't even care that I was the dork changing for gym who still had her pajama pants on under her jeans.

TheSundayBest said...

Gap has been doing this since I worked there in '94 (and possibly long before that. I blame them for the polo over a polo, and the shirt over shirt...over shirt. I am not joking.

Chocoholic said...

HA! I live in Indiana near Chicago and couldn't figure out what was wrong with two cardigans. It's cold here. I've worn a sweater under another sweater on the really cold days.

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