Blogback Mountain

A part of me wants to make an awesome skirt for my sink like this, but a bigger part of me knows that everytime I saw it I'd be like, "Dude, sink, where do you get off wearing cuter clothes than me?"

National Geographic Traveler is polling people about what makes their city great. My friend Whitney has some fabulous answers about DC that have me yearning to go back!

Have you guys tried the new "Rumspringa" cocktail? It's super tasty but be careful--after a few of 'em you may find it difficult to go back to the ol' ox and plow.

Princess Poochie is awesome because she took a simple trip to the drugstore and ended up decked out in drunken harlot makeup with a miniature deer on her head.

The Lovely Lisa has an article in Vancouver Fashion eZine! Congrats, girl!

OMG OMG some of my favorite Portland bloggers are having a big craft sale/ice cream party on July 25th. I can't wait to meet some cool ladies, buy some cool stuff, and eat some delish pie. See you there?

Speaking of local awesomeness and favorite Portland bloggers, check out Abby's gorgeous photos of her field trip to Hood River Lavender Farms.

OK, so I know every week I'm like, "I love Sal! She rocks!" but, you know, I just love Sal. She rocks!

I love Lady Smaggle too. God, I'm full of love this week!

What terms of endearment do you use with your partner? I'm fond of "Lovey," "Dude," "Missy," and "Heeeeeyyy yoooouuuu can I have a foot rub while I watch Primetime: Crime?"

Sarah has a great post about the downsides of being pleasant, even though last week a Scientologist made a graph to prove that she is very unpleasant. I don't know who to trust!

And finally, you should totally read Design Is Mine if you don't already. It's so pretty I have to stop myself from licking my screen multiple times daily.

Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

That's right, it's time once again for Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!, in which I scour the thousands of Google search terms that have recently led people to my blog and respond to a handful of them in a helpful Q&A format. If you'd like a slightly less confusing explanation, click here, and if not, read on (as always--search terms--verbatim--in bold italics, and my responses below):

Where the fuck can I buy sally hansen airbrush makeup?
Heeeeyyyy now! I think the real question here is "why so angry?" And why are you taking it out on Google? I suggest you spend some time with a therapist exploring your childhood to figure out those answers (perhaps a search engine stole your favorite toy in kindergarten?), and after that you can focus on the airbrush makeup, which, by the way, is in stock at the Walgreens down the street from my house. I'd be happy to send you some.

banana boobs muffin top bubble butt tubes
That is one of the most upsetting strings of words I've ever encountered.

awesome mouse house
So, I called my little brother Bob at 10 o'clock last night and said, "Hey, Bob, can you make me a picture of an 'awesome mouse house'?" An hour later he sent me this:

Yep, I'd say that's pretty awesome.

can i feel on your chocha
Absolutely not. But since I'm an exceedingly nice person, I've composed a list of pick-up lines for you that are better than "can i feel on your chocha":

• Hey, nice boobs!
• I must have died and gone to heaven because there's an angel standing right in front of me!
• you so hot global warming is jealous of you

can old people become hairdressers?
I believe so, yes.

conversation between apple and shoe
Ummm, if you insist...


custom funny pants
These are pretty funny.

how should a 40 year old man dentist dress?
Hmm...I would probably go with the classic green or blue scrubs, accented with some tasteful eyeglass frames and perhaps a necklace made of bloody human teeth.

badass boyfriend quiz
If you can answer "yes" to at least 3 of the following 5 questions, your boyfriend is probably a badass:

1. Does your boyfriend ride a motorcycle?
2. Does your boyfriend own a t-shirt that is bedazzled with the word "BADASS"?
3. When a condom falls out of your boyfriend's wallet in front of your evangelical minister father, does he say "oops," but in a sarcastic manner?
4. Has your boyfriend perfected the lean-against-a-wall-while-smoking-and-squinting-into-the-distance pose?
5. If your life were to be made into a movie, would your boyfriend be played by Shane West?

Now that's what I call a badass.

does Kroger sell sexual lubricant?
They surely do--I can vouch for that personally, because I once bought some for the least sexy reason ever.

gay porn cards for fathers day
This sounds like the best Father's Day ever.

i'm fasting and i'm hungry :(
Man, that's gotta suck. I've never gone more than two hours without eating, so I can't exactly relate, but, yeah, wow. BRB, I need some chocolate-covered almonds.

how spanx came to exist?
Oh child, you haven't heard the good news?

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth. And the earth had no form. It was empty, covered with darkness and water. Then the Spirit of God hovered over the water, and God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light. God saw that the light was good.

Then He divided the light from the darkness. God called the light “Spanx,” and the darkness he called “satin bridesmaid dress.” And God saw that Spanx was good. Very, very good.

who are the shopbop models?
They are thin, pretty, and either very brave, or very foolish. Check out the saggy diaper dress pictured in the post below, and you decide.

p.s. Thanks to JessieB for reminding me that an installment of Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey was long past due!

High Fashion Haiku

The fabulous Miss Elle of Broke and Beautiful tweeted about this drop-crotch jumpsuit harem romper dress...thing, and I couldn't resist echoing her thoughts in haiku form:

O! she's hangin' low-

Her "dress jumpsuit" looks to need
a diaper change, stat!

Rosa Cha Strapless Dress Jumpsuit, on sale for $139 (does not include baby wipes and rash cream), shopbop.com

Giveaway! The Best Photo Book in the History of the World (if I do say so myself)

One of the super fun projects I was working on earlier this year was National Geographic's Your Shot special issue--101 of the best photos from the magazine's popular Your Shot feature collected in a sleek little book.

I was lucky enough to be able to interview many of the featured photographers and craft clever little captions for their fabulous photos. Thanks to a talented group of designers and editors, the final product is just gorgeous:

(Hand not included. Sorry.)

Now that it has finally hit newsstands and bookstore shelves (and here!), I'd love to give away a copy to one lovely reader. Just leave a comment on this post, and I'll choose a winner at random this Friday.

And just in case you don't win the giveaway, please check out the persuasive list below:

Top 10 Reasons You Should Pick Up A Copy of
National Geographic's Your Shot Book

1. It includes a photo of a goat wearing a cardigan.

2. It's only $10.99, and features 101 incredible photos, which means that each picture pays you a dime. Or something like that.

3. You can consider your purchase a donation to the Don't Let Print Journalism Die fund.

4. It's the perfect gift for your brother, sister, mom, dad, aunt, uncle, cousin, friend, enemy, mentor, mail carrier, bikini waxer, parole officer, etc -- everybody loves cool pictures!

5. It says "Collector's Edition" on the cover, so when you display it in your home, your friends will think you are rich and refined.

6. In the span of a few pages, the images will make you gasp, laugh, and shed a tear. Maybe some other bodily functions, too, but I'm just speaking for myself here.

7. If you're so inclined, you can go here and upload your own photo to create a custom cover, then use it to impress potential lovers.

8. The pictures are so gorgeous that you'll want to lick them, and amazingly, they have zero calories!

9. My interview questions for the photographers included such gems as, "So, did the pigs always stand up when they heard the harmonica?" and "Why didn't your little brother let you stick the leaf blower in his face?" Intriguing, right?

10. It includes a photo of a goat wearing a cardigan. No joke.

Remember to leave a comment for your shot (teehehe!) at a free copy! And please check it out next time you're perusing the magazine rack. Thanks so much for your support!

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week

"Pink House on Scott Street" Postcard, $1.50

My friend Katelyn and I just got back from a quick trip to San Francisco, and it was pretty much the best experience of my life. When we were checking out of our hotel, I dramatically crumpled onto the counter and begged the desk clerk to give me a job as a housekeeper, even though I'm one of the messiest people in the world.

He politely declined, so now I'm plotting ways to move there and live in a pink Victorian house (with about 70 friends and acquaintances, of course, in order to make the rent reasonable) and eat custard buns from Chinatown every day. To quote J.P. from Angels in the Outfield, "Hey, it could happen!"

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

Once again it's time Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!, the recurring feature in which vigilant Daddy Likey readers submit examples of fashionistas who have taken the short hemlines trend a bit too far (in some cases up past their bellybuttons). Please click here if you want a more detailed explanation, but if you're ready for your daily dose of chocha, read on...

Sophie sent in these two ShopBop offenders under the email subject line, "Major Chocha," which totally made my day:

She says: This is a time when I really, really love the inventor of tights.

And: I feel dirty looking at this. I really do.

Here's one from Claudia:

This is from American Apparel, so it's understandable. But that really doesn't make it any more acceptable.

Swedish reader Anna passed along these pics, as well as the hilarious observation below:
Here's a pic of a Swedish fashion blogger that made me think of your blog and, I think, also reason for a new label: "don't show-cha, nor PLAY WITH, your chocha".

Check out this understandably depressed victim of rapidly rising hemlines:

Says Karina: The look on her face makes me laugh out loud! Poor girl.

Reader Jen actually sent this Urban Outfitters ad to me last winter and I just unearthed it from the vast pile of chocha in my inbox (I love that I write phrases like that!):

Says Jen: They're not even trying to pass these off as dresses and they still want people to wear them with nothing more than transluscent tights. The clenched-together legs, the dead look in the model's face... It's all there, and it's made all the more salient by the pants-wearing model's casual, sprawled-out pose and look of relief.

And again, from good ol' Urban Outfitters:

Says the lovely Gwen: This ad was on the sidebar of the most recent chocha post. Google Ads -- how do they know?!? Also, in Bolivia, where my husband is from, "chocar" is used for running into things or crashes (like a car accident) - which is perhaps precisely what these outfits are going to cause! [Editor's note: That is the best thing I have ever heard.]

And finally, what's that phrase about the chocha being the window to the soul?

Reader Josephine explains: This could not *not* be sent to you, it is a blatant disregard for what clothes are generally designed for: covering one's chocha. This one has a hole designed to see it! I guess the website name - "house of harlot" - should be a give away, but still! Such disrespect for general decency deserves to be scoffed at by the masses ;)

Amen to that.

Found a Don't Show-cha Your Chocha moment? Send it to me! daddylikeyblog@gmail.com