So, a couple days ago, my friend Rachel sent me this picture, with the following commentary:
Hmm....I wonder why the model felt the need to cross her legs while wearing this "dress."
This observation gave me a hearty chortle, to be sure, but it also made me think: the current let's-pretend-normal-length-shirts-are-actually-mini-dresses epidemic has brought with it an unforeseen (but extremely entertaining) side effect: models attempting to look sexy, serious, and natural while striking the hilarious contortionist poses required to keep their lady bits covered in these so-called "dresses."
Call me crazy, but I think this concept is funny and widespread enough (see here and here) to turn into a new and extremely cleverly named feature, Don't Show-cha Your Chocha*. Assuming the trend lasts (and when has a trend ever not lasted?), there should be no shortage of material (Shopbop, in particular, seems to really enjoy putting their models in weirder and weirder poses with less and less fabric).
Don't Show-cha Your Chocha will acknowledge a wide range of efforts to stay decent. It will celebrate the rare successes, applaud the valiant attempts, and mock the awkward failures. I shall take it on as my duty to publicize these photos, as these poses may be the most creative thing coming out of the fashion industry at the moment (and that wasn't a dig at the industry, it was a compliment to these models), and some credit is due.
DSYC will also function as a venue to share the most egregious "Like hell that's a dress!" offenders. Because really, I dare you to sit down and not show-cha your chocha in this:
Like Daddy Likey itself, this feature would be nothing without you lovely readers. Next time you're scouring online shops or style sites, and you come across a "dress" with no sit-down option, or a fashion photo that makes you think, "Wow, if she moved an inch to the left, I'd be looking at porn," be sure to email it to me (email@example.com) with or without commentary, and together, we'll recognize the great effort and bravery it now takes to keep the "mini dress" section PG.
*For those of you who are not schooled in Missy Elliott slang and/or haven't noticed the countless synonyms/euphemisms sprinkled throughout this post, chocha=female private region.
Top three dresses from Shopbop. Duh. Last one from Nordstrom.