Today's installment of FMFFI goes out to Connie, who was kind enough to send me an email requesting the return of the Five Men (I don't really know why they had a little hiatus--maybe cuz they all have major attitudes and kept telling me to "Go away! I'm not feeling witty right now! I need some Tums!") and alerting me to the existence of these boots:
Duccio Del Duca, $259 down from $650, bluefly.com
Umm...er...well...jesus...I think I'll just let the men take it from here. They were all quite chatty (and vitriolic) tonight. I probably shouldn't have told them about the whole "adoring fans" thing. They've turned into divas. Anyway:
The Boyfriend, who, to his credit, had been up for twenty hours straight: (Eyes widen) What the hell? Wait...What is that? Is that fur on the front? (Makes a few sad puns about lion feet) Can you just make it funny for me?
The Father: Are these real? Is this real? (Points to the fur, suspicious) The photo looks doctored here...(I assure him that the picture is indeed real) They look like somebody put them together with a glue gun and gave 'em to Goodwill. They're just ugly and dumb, with an emphasis on "dumb."
Brother, age 17: First thought? The bear shoes they make in The Edge, starring Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin.
Brother, age 11: It looks like someone pasted a bunch of rotten popcorn onto a piece of leather and put a piece of wood on it to make it a shoe...I'm not quite sure how to phrase that.
Brother, age 20: Many problems here--I don't know where they got that fur but it still has blood and dirt on it. Maybe they should clean it before putting it on some shoes. Plus it is obviously from a rat. Also, I really don't appreciate having a fall/winter item posted for June. But anyway, personally I wouldn't go for the low top and the tall heel (especially this season). I would choose a smaller heel for a sportier look and a different leather cut. Overall: Zero out of Ten for being worthless shit