Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Don't Show-cha Your Chorcha: Celine Dion Edition

A friend of mine, we'll call him Elyk, loves Celine Dion. He knows the words to all of her songs and does a pretty killer impression of her unique accent and intonation, which he claims is actually a new language called "Celinion."

He recently bought her latest concert DVD (using the self-checkout line in order to maintain his masculine street cred), then he brought it to my house and we watched it while making pizzagna (a deadly pizza-lasagna hybrid) and trying to replicate her seizure-like dance movies. At one point I wore a cape. It was awesome. Even more awesome? Her chocha-rific stage outfits.

Elyk and I thought it was about time to dedicate an installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha entirely to Celine. This is my 50th Don't Show-cha Your Chocha post, and what better way to celebrate such an epic occasion than to feature the most epic singer of all time? So now, behold: a world tour of Celine's best chorcha* moments:

Remember in 1997 when you first saw Celine Dion's chorcha?

How could you not remember this?

Ten years later, Celine's chorcha is back for revenge on the second-highest-grossing tour ever for a solo artist: the Taking Chances World Tour (1,265,385 chorcha viewers in Australia and U.S. ALONE).

Here she is singing her hit song "Chorcha Deep, Mountain High." (Enlarge photo at your own risk.)

"The Power of Chorcha"

"This is a Man's World, and her Mummy Chorcha Says Just This"

Here's some vagazzled chorcha (Even with pants on she can't keep it contained)

"This Chorcha Was Made for Showing, and That's Just What She'll Do."

*Elyk insists this is how you pronounce "chocha" in Celinion.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

This is the best post I have ever read
-Elyk

Rosie Unknown said...

Now that we have seen bedazzled chocha on top of pants, I feel like anything might happen. I mean, pigs might fly tomorrow!

Teri said...

This was hilarious.... Elyk you are BAD.... tas

A-Dubs said...

This is awesome. Also, I am haunted by the 1997 chorcha. I may never forgive you for this.

Kate said...

Happy 50th Chocha!! I MUST know more about this Pizzagna of which you speak (type, whatever)!

Lovers, Saints & Sailors said...

I feel a little bit sick.

Lesa said...

Yipes the first one did it for me. I would have to have a lot of Pizzagna to get over seeing that.

WendyB said...

Oh my gosh, I think I can see her new baby up in there.

Whit said...

I was struck blind by the first photo, and then had my sight restored by the second. Such is the power of the Celine chorcha.

The Bird said...

Wow, the chocha in the pink dress is inexcusable. Flesh colored underwear? At least wear some matching pink ones to emphatically point out you ARE NOT GOING COMMANDO. It's like she wants us to think there's nothing on under there.

ewe said...

she's got great legs so it doesn't hurt my eyes so much but for sake she's got a son - he must be proud :o
and btw we have a celeb in poland who (on the concert for twenty years of career) looked like that: http://www.pudelek.pl/artykul/25080/edzia_swietuje_20_lecie_duzo_zdjec/ i feel like a lot is missing

Catie said...

...and THAT'S the way it is!

Strachulec said...

Chorcha, shmorcha ;)
I want the recipe for pizzagna!

Katie V said...

HaPpY 5oTh ChOcHa!!!!!!!

Man do you know how to celebrate. There was more fully exposed chocha in that segment than in all the other segments combined. But then again Celine knows how to put on a "show".

Hahaha to WendyB. That was a good one!

jenniferyumyums said...

Isn't she pregnant again? Like with twins???? I feel weird.

Sara said...

Wow. That's impressive. Also, how nice of Elyk to take some time off and pry himself away from his busy job at the Dragonfly Inn to do this!

christer said...

haha, nice work there :

jasmine said...

Loved this, chorchas for everyone!

Kim said...

Please let Elyk know that Celine's mystery language is called a Quebecois accent - I know this because I live terrifying close to it's origin (though thankfully separated by a heavily armed border crossing). :) PS I never thought I'd be grateful for my thighs but it's nice to know that no one could see my chocha if I was in a seated position with my knees locked together, a la photo #1.

Lorena said...

Happy 50th Chocha Moment !
The best.
This was a super way to honor the 50 chocha posts.
Celine would be honored.

Gracey said...

Wow. Most hilarious, awesome and perhaps overly informative post ever. I had no idea Celine loved her chorcha so much. Fascinating!

Vanessa said...

Very nice. I was unaware of how much chorcha Celine shows!

rubybastille said...

Holy cow, that's the most actual choca I've ever seen in a choca post. Probably the most actual chocha I've seen in real life, too, just to clarify.

barefootandvintage said...

lol! this is hysterical. what's her deal?!

Melissa Blake said...

OMFFFG! Why did I have to see this so early in the morning?

propriatress said...

Thanks! now when I quickly leave the Goodwill because Celine is on the loudspeaker, I'll dump the panties on the floor in Her honor...and how soon can you get a video of "elyk" doing a performance up on the DaddyLikey??

stacy said...

love it.

Daisy Dukes said...

Oh dear, I had no idea.

Laura said...

The sound of her voice is...the most irritating noise I've ever heard.
love your blog =)


diamonddiaper.blogspot.com

Kylie said...

Happiest of Happy 50th Chocha Posts!! Thanks to your post, Celine's chocha will go on!

I'm sure you've already seen this, but just in case you or Elyk haven't...I now present to you the most amazing Celine-craziness compilation I have ever seen! http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/2008/01/cline-dion-is-a.html



Thanks for all the hilarity, Winona!

Erica said...

Hate to break this to Elyk but "Celinian" is called "Francaphone" here in Canada and it's hardly unique. It's an impossible accent to shake even for those who are fully bilingual. I've only met one person whose first language was Canadian French who could speak English without an accent. On the flip side I've found that perfecting a French accent is nearly impossible and I'm sure that my Anglaphone accent is just as grating to French ears.

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