Wednesday, May 23, 2007

I Guess It Doesn't Just Save the Polar Bears...

Just in case my rave review a couple days ago didn't convince you of DiorShow's mascaral (that's what "mascara" looks like as an adjective, my friends) superiority and/or my penchant for dramatic exaggerations, check out this true life story:

I was on my way to an appointment with my academic adviser yesterday when I ran into my friend Khathy.

"Where are you going?" I asked. We had film studies together in an hour and she appeared to be hurrying in the wrong direction.

She gestured to the door. "I'm headed to Nordstrom to get that mascara you wrote about yesterday."

I beamed with joy. The feeling of being both a good friend and a powerful force of capitalism is really hard to beat.

"Oh my gosh, you so won't regret it!" I shrieked. "Look at my lashes! Just look at them!" Possible DiorShow side effect: You may become completely eyelashotistical (that's what "eyelash" combined with "egotistical" looks like, my friends, and good god that didn't work out as well as I'd hoped).

"I know! I've been searching for good mascara forever!"

At this moment, a woman popped her head around the stairwell we were standing in. "Did I hear someone say 'good mascara'?" She asked, her voice heavy with hope.

I looked at Khathy to see if she knew this strange, mascara-obsessed eavesdropper. She looked as vaguely confused as I did, which made me wonder just how long this woman had been lurking in the stairwell, waiting for someone to say 'good mascara.' Weeks? Months? Years? Perhaps she was like the tragic Thackery Binx in Hocus Pocus, cursed to live in purgatory as a talking cat for 300 years until the sunlight-induced death of the Sanderson sisters finally granted him his mortality, except of course this woman started out as a cat and the only thing that can turn her back is 'good mascara'?

I had so many questions, but I decided that raving about DiorShow was more important than finding out if this woman was actually a cat. After all, I am studying to be a beauty editor.

"It's called DiorShow," I said, "It's by Christian Dior. It's pricey, but it's worth it. It's the best mascara ever."

"Alright," the cat said, "good to know." And then she walked away.

p.s. If you haven't seen Hocus Pocus, yes, that is Sarah Jessica Parker on the right, and no, I'm not going to explain what the hell I'm talking about in this post. Go rent it. And start living.

p.p.s.s. If you have seen Hocus Pocus and you're still confused by this post, please be forgiving, as yesterday I was 5 minutes late for my film class on the day we were watching Mulholland Drive, a movie that apparently makes little to no sense if you see the whole thing, and causes straight-up psychosis if you miss the first 5 minutes. God I hate my life.


Anonymous said...

*Raises hand* I understood your blog ! LOL ! For the past 5 years, I've been searching for the perfect mascara. ASDFG !? I shall voyage out to the mall to try the one u suggested =) & I will update you with the results !

P.S. Do you have any suggested summer readings ? Thanks <3

airstreamdiva said...

Hey... I know that the MAC Fiber Rich or whatever is your 2nd runner up, but I happened to be at the MAC counter yesterday and gave it a whirl, based on your recommendation. Geez. The DiorShow must be extraordinary, 'cause the MAC stuff kind of rocked my world.

Becky said...

Ooh.. I love Mulholland Drive. It's one of my favorite movies.

I think you've nearly convinced me to try the Dior mascara even though I've been dedicated to Benefit's for years.

Anonymous said...

SILENCIO ... sileeeeencio ...

Pret a Porter P said...

kickin it old skool with the hocus pocus reference...
i like it.

daddylikeyblog said...

Oh good! I hope you like it! I'll have to think about summer readings and get back to you--perhaps I'll write a post about it! but if I get lazy, just look for another comment here.

If you love the MAC, stick with the MAC, cuz you can't beat that stuff for $10 bucks. It was good to me for many years.

Becky--I might need to talk to you about Mulholland Drive at some point, since my experience with it has been me saying, "Wait, what?" every three minutes or so. I've gotta rent it and watch the beginning, damnit.

daddylikeyblog said...

candid cool--
i know. hocus pocus rocks my world.

Ana said...

I read and understood the whole thing too. I laughed so hard, you have a talent ms. daddylikey!
note to readers: don't read this in the library or any other study places where people might shoot you dirty stares or call the mental ward after hearing incessant laughter from a girl who is sitting at a computer....
You are hilarious Winona!

indigomast said...

god I love Hocus Pocus lol
isn't it Zachery binx?

Anonymous said...

Grrr. David Lynch. He makes me feel stupid, and I am very much not stupid.

But I love DiorShow. And it loves me! It only gives me beautiful eyes and never makes me feel stupid.

AAA said...

You know my no makeup policy. This is making me want to break it.

Meg said...

Okay, I have seen Hocus Pocus maybe.... 7 times? And I have never, ever realized that it was SJP in the movie. How terrible is that? But that movie rocks, I'll have to rent it again.

Unknown said...

I want the DiorShow but I only have $4.00. There are two ways to solve this problem.
1. Have a Fundraiser
2. Buy a Community Mascara(to share)(that I would eventually steal and accuse somebody else of losing)

Maddy said...

I love Hocus Pocus. Every Halloween on the Disney Channel, baby.

Giancarlo said...

For Pete's sake, what Prof was showing Mulholland Drive in class? I've never been so confused in my life, and that includes Calculus.

p.s. Why do I have to go through the whole "word verification" bit on your blog? And is "vxofjj" really a verifiable word?

Fashion Chick NYC said...

I totally bought the Dior Show on your recommendation. Sadly, it didn't do much for my skimpy eyelashes. You can't squeeze blood from a stone, I guess....

Anonymous said...

When I saw the photo of the blonde hair actress, I thought it was Julia Roberts. Oh well....

Anonymous said...

I also bought DiorShow on your recommendation. Your influence exceeds your imagination!

(And also, I've read other fashion and beauty bloggers who rave about it.)

laurahirshy said...

okay, not only one, but two posts has definitely convinced me - I BOUGHT IT! and it changed my life.

well, not really, but it seriously is amazing, and totally worth the money - 20-ish isn't horrible. i seriously felt like everyone was staring at my eyelashes as I walked down the street, that's how ridiculously amazing my lashes looked.

thanks for the recommendation!!

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