Wednesday, October 10, 2007

Guest Post: My Extremely Modest Seventeen-Year-Old Brother Discovers Conditioner

When my brother came out of the bathroom running his hands through his hair and gasping, "Whatever was in that blue bottle...changed my life," I knew I had to get him to write a post about it. Here's his humble thesis:

My once-weekly shower is consistently a bleak affair. I peel off the layers of pungent moist clothing, usually falling into the door jumping out of my pants or pulling an extremely tight shirt off my rippling muscles, inciting an "are you o.k. in there?," from outside. I get in and carry out an all-too-drab routine that drags on too long (there is a lot to clean if you get my drift, ladies) and am always left wanting something more.

Well, today I got something more. After washing out the shampoo from the bright orange bottle, I was disappointed as usual by the coarse texture that I was left with. I knew I had to counteract the first shampoo with something chemically completely different, and like vinegar to a bee sting so was the blue bottle to the orange. I lathered up my hair and went to town, immediately feeling the silkiness of my hair return. Getting out of the shower I ran both my hands through my lustrous locks in a manner that would make Christian Bale in American Psycho proud.

Something changed in me tonight. That blue bottle's contents served as an elixir of youth and vitality, giving me a much needed boost to tackle another obstacle. Plus, I look even more like Robert Downey Jr. when I have well conditioned hair.

[Editor's note: "blue bottle"=Clairol Nice'n Easy ColorSeal Conditioning Gloss, $3-$5, drugstores]

[Editor's note, redux: Personally, I wasn't all that wild about this stuff. It left my hair more greasy than lustrous. But hundreds of thousands of women and my brother disagree, and it's cheap as hell, so you don't have much to lose if you give it a try. And who knows? Maybe it will make you look like Robert Downey Jr.]


Anonymous said...


Jamie said...

Too funny!

Cate said...

I laughed, but it was partially one of those "I'm a bit disturbed, but amused, and possibly disturbed because I'm amused" sort of laughs, and now I've revisited it 3 times and I still can't decide how I feel. Glad he got into conditioner, though!

LallaLydia said...

Yes, so modest you'll soon be nominated for sainthood. So was this post dictated to you and interpreted through your agile, creative fingers, Winona? Or does the writing bug run in the family and soon we'll be able to read multiple blogs from the D-E family? ;)

LallaLydia said...

thanks for visiting my blog and for your kind compliments. My prior comment was a kind-of compliment and I do think you should think abot writing your own blog now that you already have a pro in the family. That way when you do a post on sports equipment (I'll assume for this comment that you like some sport) to Winona you can do: Sister, Winona (20): "What is that? Where do you wear it? Does it go on your head? It's a what? Whooooooah...."

Lilly said...

haha! can I meet your brother?

Anonymous said...

I know so many guys who have discovered conditioner and emerged with a sense of enlightenment. It's amazing how few even know what it does even well into their twenties. This was a great post.

laila said...

back off chicas, he's MINE!

... as soon as he turns 21.

arnique said...

LOLZ, and yet so frightening. How can people not know about conditioner?

Then again, this happened to a friend of mine a few weeks too. He came out with the bottle and was all, "Is this shampoo okay? It doesn't lather, but... my hair! So soft, so wonderful!"

Hmm... maybe it's just boys who don't care about, well, hair care.

Netchem said...

I would love too meet your brother...but I'm w/ soon as he turns 21!!!!!

seberu/maggie said...

Your brother is about the same age my brother was when he started stealing my Biore Nose Strips.

mary said...

winon- for dont showch your choch- !!

also, this brother of yours....with these rippling muscles and aLOT to wash? hmmm it might be a little statutory but hey, isnt that the fun??

haha but in all seriousness i wish something could compel MY brothers to stumble upon the wonder that is showering...

thetiniestspark said...

hahah your brother is HIGHLY entertaining. clever 17-year old boys exist?? REALLY?

Anonymous said...

OK, THIS is why I read Daddy Likey. Your entirely family is hilarious.

Danielle said...

Awww...I loved this post! It reminded me of my very own younger brother, when he stumbled upon the power of exfoliation and moisturizing. Dry skin comes from my mom, but the exfoliation *did* freak me out a bit. I don't even do that on a regular basis. In any case, my dear brother (coming up on 21) has yet to discover the wonders of conditioner.

Maybe I should send him the link...

Anonymous said...

luv brother can i pls have him although am older so i have 2 let it go but luv u if u have another like him send my way

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