Monday, January 28, 2008

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

That's right! It's finally time for another edition of the popular feature Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, in which readers send in examples of waaaayyy too high hemlines and the valiant models who try to make them look normal.

It would be a gross understatement to say that Shopbop and American Apparel are repeat DSYC offenders. In fact, if they were people, they'd be those petty criminals on Cops who break the law so often that it becomes kind of quirky and charming, like, "A robbery at the 9th avenue 7-11? Sounds like Byron and Ziggy again!"

Here's the latest crop from these two crazy crooks:

A perfect example of Shopbop's MO: Normal length shirt. Worn as dress. Model hates her life.

Says Antonia: Either this girl had an overnight growth spurt or there'll be a chocha sighting in 5, 4, 3, 2, . . .

Charlotte spotted this profound lack of pants:

Are they serious with this shit? I feel cold when I look at her.

This is probably one of my favorite ones, ever:

Says Nicky: She is stone cold serious about showing her lady bits and trying to maintain that fierceness while wearing half a Glad bag as a bolero. And it originally cost $522! I love what Shopbop describes it as, "This is brilliant design unlike anything we've ever seen before." Ha!

Here's one that horrified me while I was innocently browsing and not exactly in the mood for porn:

The fact that it's listed under the "skirt" category says it all.

And American Apparel's gotta join in the fun too!

Ania found this gem:

It seems she figured out how to deal with this "dress."

Theoretically not a dress, says Cate, and yet presented as one...

THISCLOSE to chochular viewing.

Next, a few that were actually not from Shopbop or American Apparel (weird, I know!).

This dress is described as "in the style of Paris Hilton" on Seeing this girl's exposed vagina as she exits a car would also be in the style of Paris Hilton:

Says Jules: I'm not sure if she is hanging her head in despair or just keeping an eye on how much of an eyeful she is giving the photographer!

Rachel found a DSYC moment featuring Jonathan Rhys Meyers' girlfriend:

Check out the leg-crossing towards the camera on this one! Also, he's really creepy looking. [Editor's Note: Good god, yeah he is.]

Brittney found this extraordinarily awkward photo, which also illustrates a clear violation of my junior high school's hemline-below-fingertips dress code:

She says: If that slit went down any more or that hem went up any further, we might have
a chochaster on our hands. ...kind of like dis-aster...but with..okay you get it. Also look at what's going on in the shadow. It looks like the opposite of a chocha is happening...maybe a penicha?

I think I'll end with "penicha."

p.s. Keep them chocha sightings rolling in!!


Heather said...

Models, interestingly enough, must have really short torsos, because there is no way that any of those would come anywhere near my hipular regions... I think that the hemlines to fingertips rule is a pretty good idea... at my high school, we had the "flamingo test", which was really hard to describe, and in retrospect, kind of perverted.

WendyB said...

I can't wait to send you a picture of me in my overly short dress. Ha ha! I love that last example the most.

Mindy said...

I want the shoes from the fourth picture. I tend to look at shoes when you have a DSYC pictorial.

Rachel said...

I feel so special! I made it onto Don't Show-cha Your Chocha! Except I can't remember how long ago I sent you that...

Lady Language said...

Brilliant and funny as always. Love the chocha bits, especially the all inspiring "Glad bag bolero" piece from Shopbop.

Lady Language said...

p.s. forgot to tell ya that I really like the blue background - my eyes thank you!

Isabella said...

Haha. Your DSYC posts always leave me in a fit of giggles. What is it with the phantom penis in the last picture? I can't figure out what would make such a weird shadow.

- an avid reader, but not an avid commenter.

Peajai said...

Well it's obvious the last girl has a phantom tail... As Tyra would say, the girls who have something a little off about them make the best models.

susie_bubble said...

I do love that bolero look... now if I wear tights... would that constitute chocha showing?

Henry said...


We members of high society have evolved beyond your plebeian need for pants.

laila said...

I almost bought that blue AA one ... in a different color though ... but it was too unforgiving.

Grace said...

The silver one would be cute ...with skinny jeans.

And if you're think enough to pull of a good fitting pair of skinny jeans, [or god forbid, cut off booty shorts (which in remark to booty shorts, there's a reason why they call them booty shorts, and that's two words; booty. call.)] what's stopping you from going a centimeter close to showing off your chocha. My UNDERWEAR is longer than most of those dresses hemlines. Actually, I'm lying, but it seemed like a good point.

Cygirl said...

The thought of my arse hanging out like that makes me cold. Literally. Because it's winter.

Also, Jonathan does look scary there, but he's actually quite hot. See 'Goldmine, Velvet.'

Guerreira said...

Oh boy! Yesterday I saw a real girl with one of these tops-dressed-as-dresses. She was wearing tights, but it didn't realy help that much. My former mother-in-law used to call these "Pussy Lampshades". Should we start a movement, something like "Protect the Chochas"? Or am I just getting old? Back to old boy!

Joanna Goddard said...

haha, the shadow, LOL :)

jennine said...

i'm still giggling over the word chocha...
that's even better than shalala

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