Sunday, January 20, 2008

I love computer viruses. NOT!

To borrow the title of Pink's latest album, I'm Not Dead! A group of ravenous computer viruses got the better of my computer last week, rendering me internet-less (bad for blogging, even worse for an online class...I'm coming, SP 410 discussion group!). Today my techy brother finally wiped my hard drive--SO stressful--and reinstalled everything (although he refused to replace my late 90's version of Zoo Tycoon, the elitist bastard), so I think I'm good to go.

Speaking of going in the past tense, I went to IKEA for the first time this weekend. Wow, was that a life changer. This won't surprise anyone who's been there before, but I got a floor lamp for eight bucks! Eight bucks! And it hasn't even caught fire yet! The lamp is really boring; I only bought it because its name is NOT.

See, at IKEA all the products are labeled with what I assume are their Swedish titles (although those silly Swedes could slap Bröstvårta on the side of a shoe rack and I'd be like, "Well isn't that nice?"). The box my lamp came in says NOT on the side. This gives me great joy, as it has allowed me to do this, many times:

Me: I got this really cool thing at IKEA! NOT!
Friend: Oh...umm...so you didn't get anything?
Me: No, I got the best thing ever. NOT!
Friend: Couldn't find anything?
Me: NOT!
Friend: I'm not good with double negatives.
Me: Guess what I got at IKEA? NOT!
Friend: So..did you want me to guess? Or no?
Me: NOT!
Friend: Umm...
Me: It only cost me eight bucks! NOT!
Friend: I got a couch at IKEA for 8 bucks.
Me: Oh. wow.

NOT!

20 comments:

Blue Floppy Hat said...

It's great to have you back- computer viruses really are devilspawn. You'd think they'd spare a Reverend..

the muse said...

i'm glad that you're back! my first time ikea was 2 years ago and i kept looking around like i was stealing, everything is so cheap!

SHOEGAL said...

I have that lamp too. It's fab! And I can't believe you'd never been to IKEA before. Is it a long way from you?

daddylikeyblog said...

BFH--
I know, right?? I should have flashed my reverend card (yes, I do have one) at 'em!

muse--
I was exactly the same way. I don't know how many times I would look at a price and say, "Really??" but it was a lot.

shoegal--
Lamp Twins 4 Lyph! I can't believe I had never been there before either, but they just recently built their first Portland store (amidst much controversy, of course).

Peajai said...

The IKEA near me is opening in March and I'm so excited! I haven't been to one in almost 4 years... since I went to the one in Minneapolis with a co-worker and we got separated and I had to have him paged!

Christine said...

haha...I bought a pan there because it is named "SKANKA".

Beth said...

Oh wow, there was a big Daddy Likey shaped hole in my life! Seriously, I was on the verge of sending you an e-mail. Sorry about the viruses, + I bet your brother was just jealous of your Zoo-making skillz.

(let's get sentimental!) Seriously, I do love your blog. It's one of the few regulars I read that doesn't tick me off. You're realistic, + easier to relate to than super-happy people with no idea what a budget is. Hooray for you! Also, I totally linked you on my totally dead blog. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Winona. I love you blog sooooooo much, and I hate to be critical, but ever since you changed the background color it is hard for me to read it. I think the color is just a little too dark for black writing.

The links stand out well....maybe change the entries to white? or change the background color?

If you don't want to, I understand, but just wanted to let you know it's difficult to read.

amanda said...

Man, it always surprises me when people say they've never been to IKEA. I pretty much furnished my first apartment with castoffs from my parents and IKEA furniture, which was interesting, in a schizophrenic way.
My parents' place was pretty close to an IKEA, so whenever I got really, ridiculously bored, I would go to IKEA with my boyfriend and we'd spend a couple solid hours wandering around, mentally decorating our perfect place on a budget.

K said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

1. I need to go to Ikea! lol
2. I liked your old title...bring it back--please!

kirstenspitzner@mac.com said...

Oh my god if I lived near you I'd bake you a cake to commemorate your first ikea visit! It makes target look expensive and lame!
Happy shopping at Ikea!
Kirsten

Lady Language said...

Swedes are good people - I worked for a Swedish company in the 90s, have visited Stockholm and frequent the big blue Ikea near me. In fact, my two Kimsta chairs that I purchased almost 15 years ago are still in great shape. Also, when you have kids, you don't want to pay $500 for the Pottery Barn art table and chairs, so you go to Ikea and get the Pflatt table and chairs for $60.

Heather said...

haha I love your NOT! I long for an IKEA near me...

lisa said...

Ooh I feel your computer virus pain (as a software company employee) and your Ikea joy (as a twentysomething who loves their cheap furniture and kitchen gear).

met said...

I went to Ikea this weekend too and I got a desk named Mikael. The name is not nearly as cool as NOT! I am always pleasantly surprised when I checkout and the total is so low. It's like shopping a Macy's sale.

Shallom (Editor) said...

I had the same lamp - never knew it was called "NOT"! I could have had some fun with that...

Soul Tanggg said...

oooh! I lOOOOved zoo tycoon!!

fionaj said...

Hi! Dropped by your blog via Fashion is Spinach.

I was in IKEA recently with some friends and we kept cracking up because of the infinite possibilities for NOT comments. Some were highly similar to those you've mentioned. ;)

Of course, the staff did't bat an eyelid, they must see my type of crazy everyday!

That lamp, imho, is awesome, simply because it's NOT.

kiki said...

this post is very very funny!!!!!

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