It's Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

Well, it's finally time for another installment of Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey, the popular feature in which I thoughtfully respond to the google searches that led lost souls to my blog (if you're a new reader, click here for a better explanation).

I'm just gonna jump right in. Longtime readers, say it with me now--google searches in bold italics, my responses below!

Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

i love computers!
Me too! I also love exclamation points! Want to be friends?!

can hobbits wear flip flops
Excellent question. I suppose they could, if they wanted to, although they might need to have a pair specially made. And it might be prudent to wear closed toed shoes while fighting orcs.

show youre vajina
Show me your GED

how to tell if your shirt is too small
Not to worry, I've created a simple self-diagnosis quiz to help you out! If you answer "yes" to three or more of the following questions, your shirt is probably too small:
1. Is your shirt uncomfortably tight?
2. Does your stomach hang out of your shirt?
3. Does your shirt mash your breasts into the shape of lumpy flapjacks?
4. When you bend or twist, does your shirt rip open?
5. When you walk down the street, do people yell from their cars, "Get a bigger shirt!"?

how to disguise cankles
You could try one (or two) of these:

And if that doesn't work, here are some tips.

"fred meyer" "sex toys"
You are so barking up the wrong tree.

Does Robert Downey Jr. need glasses?
I'm not really sure, but my brother, who is possibly RDJ's illegitimate child, doesn't need glasses, if that helps.

dennis hopper speed quote
Dennis Hopper as villain Howard Payne in Speed is perhaps the greatest performance in history. I'm constantly trying to convince people of this, but they insist on saying boneheaded things about Laurence Olivier and Marlon Brando, at which point I cut them out of my life (I only have two friends left). In short, I'm glad to see someone paying homage to the Hopper. There's a number of fantastic quotes you could be searching for, but let me run down the top possibilities:
--"Popquiz, hotshot"
--"What do you do? What do you do?"
--"Are you ready to die, friend?"

daddylikey needs to do another podcast!
Eek! I'm sorry! I'm working on it! In the meantime, listen the first/last one again.

accidental emasculation
Are we talking the kind of accidental emasculation like the time you let it slip that your boyfriend likes Sex and the City more than you do, or the kind that involves pruning shears? Because there's a big difference.


faking a bulge in tights
Speaking of emasculation...

kristen cavalari--kristin cavallari--cavaleri--cavalleri
Oh! You must mean Kristen Cavalari...Kristin Cavallari....Cavaleri...Cavalleri...damnit!

How to talk dirty in bed using the phrase "daddy"
Wow. Uuuhhh, wow. Do you always google your sex tips so...formally?

most rhymable countries
Excuse me while I lay down some freestyle limericks to answer this query:

In a beautiful boutique in France
I spent way too much money on pants
Now I am poor
But they're Christian Dior!
I might as well wear them and dance

Nowhere is more perfect than Spain
If you go there, please do not complain
Land of beaches and booze
and Penelope Cruz
To disagree would be insane

Spent the summer in Uzbekistan
Fell and got a bruisebekistan
This limerick is dead
I should quit while ahead
But I'm gonna push throughzbekistan