And these fake moles have been sitting on my desk for two years. I even moved--twice--and still, they sat on my desk. Sure, I played with them from time to time, sticking one on my cheek or my best friend or my cat, but I never really got serious about the Hottie Dot.
I decided it was time to add some investigative journalism to my resume. It was time to add instant glamour to any outfit. It was time to live a day in the life of a...person with a facial mole.
Here's me, pre-mole:
The plan: I would put on a Hottie Dot and go about my daily life, recording the earth-shattering events that were sure to occur. Would a beauty mark change my life? Or more importantly, would it spice up a boring Monday of work and errands? Read on to find out...
Monday, May 19th, 2009--The First Day of the Rest of My (Moled) Life
9:30 AM: Wake up (well, sort of), start replying to emails and looking over edits for an article I'm writing.
9:40 AM: Still grumpy and incoherent. But wait! The mole!
9:45 AM: Delicately and precisely apply a Hottie Dot above my lip.
9:46 AM: Feel the same. Damnit.
10:00 AM: Boyfriend gets up. Shuffles past me and says, "Nice mole."
10:10 AM: Eat breakfast, double checking each bite to make sure that it's indeed pepper on my egg and not a rogue Hottie Dot.
10:30 AM: Apply my makeup, careful not to disturb the mole. Wonder if this is how people with authentic facial moles feel.
12:30 PM: Bring my car to the mechanic to replace a fuse. Mechanic gives me a confused, patronizing stare. But that's normal.
1:00 PM: My license expired last week, so I gather every identifying document I've amassed in this lifetime and head to the DMV to renew it. DMV is closed. Decide the mole is cursed.
1:30 PM: Get lunch at a cafe. Take a sample of chocolate cake and spill it down the front of my shirt. WTF, MOLE?!
2:15 PM: Back at home, back to work, but internet radio is playing all my least favorite songs. This mole is ruining my life.
3:30 PM: Important conference call with editors in Seattle goes great. Give mole full credit.
4:15-5:15 PM: Write.
5:16 PM: Catch a glimpse of my reflection in my laptop screen and think there's a spider on my face. Slap myself on the cheek in a panic.
5:17 PM: Feel foolish.
5:18-6:40 PM: Write more.
6:45 PM: Go for a vigorous bike ride. Mole stays intact. Impressive.
7:00: Stop in to visit my brother at work. Brother gestures to alert me that I have something on my face. I say, "I know."
7:15: Get hit on by a guy who looks exactly like a younger version of my dad. Dude. Did I accidentally put on a Back to the Future mole?
7:20: Get really worried that the guy actually was a younger version of my dad and I must repair the damage this mole has done to the course of history before it's too late!
7:30 PM: Buy some pita and hummus and forget what I was worrying about.
8:00 PM: Stop by Nordstrom Rack to return a pair of shoes. End up buying expensive sunglasses. Blame the mole.
9:00 PM: Watching tv and snuggling with boyfriend on the couch, my Hottie Dot literally pops off and hits him in the face. Awkwaaaaard.
10:00 PM: Replace Hottie Dot. Boyfriend announces he's going to bed. Apparently he is not entranced by my seductive new beauty mark.
10:15 PM - 2:00 AM: Work.
Conclusion: Hottie dots add instant glamour to any outfit! You guys should totally buy some!