Dear Beautiful, Stylish, Graceful, Non-Sweaty Girl on a Bike,
How do you do it?
I get on a bike for five minutes and my hair is a frizzy mess, I'm drenched in sweat, I'm splotchy red, I'm wheezing, I'm complaining about severe ass pain, my bag is getting caught in my spokes, one or both shoes is flying off into an intersection in front of a police officer, and all the while you're gliding by like a J. Crew catalog breeze.
I really enjoy biking, but the aesthetic aftermath is brutal: I almost got kicked out of a store today because I looked like a particularly disheveled vagrant. I'm assuming this never happens to you.
I'm so curious--do your magical powers extend to other areas of your life? Do you go home and make perfectly puffed soufflés, just because? Are you the kind of person who can wear a white jersey dress and without resembling a large container of ricotta cheese and go the whole night without spilling large amounts of coffee, ketchup, and red wine in your lap? Do you ever watch The King of Queens? It's actually really funny.
So, what's your secret? Does it involve the souls of children? Am I warm? Because I'm sweating.
Photo via The Sartorialist