(This picture does NOT truly illustrate their brightness--I was blinded this morning when I opened my pants drawer.)
When I saw these neon yellow jeans on the J. Crew sale rack, the following thoughts flashed through my mind, in the following order:
1. Hahaha! God those are ugly.
2. Who would buy those? Apparently nobody.
3. They wouldn't look good on anyone.
4. Well, they would probably look good on Queen Michelle, but Queen Michelle would look good in a pickle barrel with shoulder straps.
5. God I hate Queen Michelle.
6. Hmm...they seem to be in my size.
7. Isn't it a sign from God when the last pair of neon yellow jeans is in your EXACT size?
8. I probably don't want to defy God.
9. But dude, neon yellow?
10. Holy hell, they're an extra 40% off $19.99.
11. Duh. They're neon yellow jeans. That's why they're an extra 40% off.
12. Still, that's hella cheap.
13. I suppose if I ever got lost in the wilderness, I could use them to flag down the search planes.
14. If I just buy them now, that saves me a trip to REI to buy a search plane flagger downer.
15. These pants will save my life.
16. I'm buying them.
Stay tuned for details on how the hell I'm going to work these into my wardrobe.