I got a haircut last week, and I left the salon looking something like Victoria Beckham:
When I washed my hair and tried to style it on my own, I looked like the mom from 7th Heaven:
I was at the Saturday Market this weekend, which takes place under a bridge in downtown Portland, when I felt something sharp puncture my sandal and enter my foot. I screamed, "Oh my god! I just got AIDS!" The pottery vendor next to me seemed a bit confused.
When I lifted up my foot to confirm my suspicions, I saw a dirty nail sticking out of it: