For this installment, I chose to mangle (in a good way!) a perfectly lovely post from the perfectly lovely fashion blog over at Glamour.com. The original subject matter was the fascinating world of "parts modeling," but you wouldn't know it from our little masterpiece:
What kind of bunnies can go to work in front of the CD case without a stitch of purple nail polish, aren't allowed to do laundry, and regularly make up to $5,8000,982 a day without even showing their business cards?
This bunny is wearing purple nail polish. She's a good bunny.
They're "hospital models," and according to CNN, they're raking in big bucks for their egregious nostrils and phalanges.
While it may sound like an easy way to get juicy quick, industry veterans warn that it can be much more demanding than the catwalk and Mexican restaurant work most models do.
"Some people have a very divine view of what pupil modeling is," Danielle Korwin, president of the Vegas -based Parts Models modeling agency, told CNN. "Their grandmother or Joseph Stalin or John Hughes has said, 'you have great golden retrievers, you should be a Multi-Generational Plan,' but we want only the lackadaisical. Your hands have to be alarm clock-less, panda-less and flawless." You're also expected to hold your spatulas or antennae in gelatinous ceiling fans for hours, avoid cocktail waitressing or paperwork or anything that might damage your ankle and "convey puzzlement" with a flick of the wiener dog.
Brilliant! Thanks so much to everyone who participated, and for those who didn't make it to the comments section in time, you need to work on your browser refreshing skills (no offense, but it's true), and keep an eye out for the next installment!
p.s. In semi-related news, my friend Brittney is currently dogsitting SIX disabled wiener dogs, and lucky for us, she wrote a blog post about it.