Monday, November 09, 2009

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

Well, well, well, it's finally time for another installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, the recurring feature in which readers send in examples of the ever-worsening "wearing a shirt as a dress" trend (if you're a Daddy Likey newbie--welcome!--and click here for a more thorough explanation).

Let's kick things off with Taylor Momsen's prime example:

Sally says: I see London, I see France ... I see Taylor's CHOCHA. And really wish I didn't.

Darci wants to know when Bloomingdales began catering to the twenty-something hipster prostitute crowd:

She also observes: You know you're ready to nightwalk when your necklace length matches your dress length. Hideous matching metallic undies sold separately.

Courtney found this Forever 21 skirt that doesn't allow for much movement:

Like, at all. Or else the chocha will make its debut.

Can you guess what company this ad is for?

Kasheia thinks this pose should be titled "Don't Offer Your Chocha." I agree.

Jen found this "chocha dust ruffle:"

Chocha dust ruffle, seriously. You guys crack me up.

I wouldn't want to run into her in a dark alley:

Lizzie says: Perhaps the most disturbing feature is the drawn-on breasts, which make it look like the poor model is dressed only in a scarf around her butt and some scraps of aluminum foil. Not a good look.

Kim titled her email "A well-placed hand:"

She adds: If it wasn't for the strategically placed hand we'd be staring at more than a pretty girl in chains.

Speaking of well-placed limbs, Stephanie sent me this photo:

That's a risky shot, right there.

Liz hits the nail on the head:

She says: This is Monica Cruz, the younger and mildly famous sister of Penelope Cruz. She is apparently posing at a Tampax sponsored event, while wearing a dress that if it were 3 inches shorter would allow us all to know if she uses their product.

So, Mary sent in this picture, which is a great Don't Show-cha Your Chocha example, but the hemline of her shirt is a bit more distracting:

Superwoman, huh? Not sure how easy it is to fight bad guys when your boobs keep falling out the bottom of your top.

The awesome Rebecca submits photographic evidence that Kenneth Cole mannequins need to learn to close up shop:

Come on, all of New York City doesn't need to see that. Save it for your mannequin life partner.

Here's a great one from Christine:

She says: Marion Cotillard can probably do no sartorial wrong, but she looks like she's really regretting this get-up.

Tiffany sent in the next two, along with the spot-on commentary:

Yeeeeah. She might be all pretty and Brazilian or whatever but if she ever has to pick up that kid, I don't even want to know what's going to happen.

I don't even know what to say. She's totally creating her own chocha experience there. Maybe she's jealous her shirt/dress/whatever isn't as short as Camila Alves. [Editor's note: How great is the phrase "chocha experience"? It sounds like a virtual reality ride at Disneyland.]

Reader Liz found these chocha-spotlighting bloomers that are, ummm, sort of terrifying:

I feel like I saw these on that Dateline special about purity parties.

And finally, Josi sent me a hilarious Tour de Chocha, if you will:

She says: When I spotted this spread in the UO early fall catalog I instantly thought of your awesome DSYC feature. My favourite part is how the model's expression progressively changes throughout the spread:

Exibit A: 2nd picture to left of the top row
"WTF? You expect me to wear this as a dress?"

Exibit B: Next picture over to the right
"Well, maybe I can make it work if I pull it down a bit..."

Exibit C: 2nd picture to the right of the top row
"I guess I should should cross my legs and turn my head in shame."

Exibit D: 1st picture to the right of the top row
"I wonder if anyone would notice if I murdered the stylist..."

Exibit E: 3rd picture to the right of the bottom row
"Not only am I pants-less, but this t-shirt is sheer? Awkwaaaaard."

Exibit F: 1st picture to the right of the bottom row
The model has clearly lost her soul.

If you come across a great Don't Show-cha Your Chocha example, feel free to send it my way!


Academichic said...

Oh my god, soooo good! This one features so many good (and by that I mean AWFUL) chocha shots! And I'm really disturbed by the underbreast cleavage with that superman shirt. I like how she's in a boxing ring, as if she could ever do any vigorous activity with that skirt (???) and that top. Oh, and I'm glad they belted that fabric around her hips, because THAT was the problem - it needed a belt. S.

Anonymous said...

Does it seem like chocha-showing is becoming an epidemic?

Elizabeth said...

I doubt that Bloomie's model is even wearing the matching metallic bloomers.

LEAH said...

this series kills me every time.

WendyB said...

I think you should start a whole new series about under-boob.

Anonymous said...

I feel like the model with the well-placed hand has a thick Brooklyn accent for some reason.

"So you can see my hooha! What's da matta? Fuhgeddaboudit!"

Anonymous said...

Awesome! Is it disturbing to say I missed the chocha... posts that is!

Lisa said...

LOL what a hilarious round-up of chocha!

I Get a Fever said...

Hilarious! You should be hired to do a public service announcement. That American Apparel ad... Damn. Someone needs to help that girl out with a skirt or a blanket or a bucket of dignity...

Although I have to say, I hate the way the paparazzi take up-skirt shots - isn't that illegal? I mean, sometimes it is hard to exit a car in a short skirt, esp. with a camera pointed at your chocha...

jordana said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I seriously busted out laughing in the office as I was reading it! WOW! You should submit this to Links a la Mode tonight...too good!

I especially enjoyed the "dust ruffle" ref and the "drawn on breasts" commentary. Great idea polling ppl!

I totally agree though! It also reminds me of the fact that there's even an art to wearing leggings as pants...just cover your crotch with a long enough t-shirt/top!

Birdie! said...

LMAO! I love these..... I always have moments where I wonder if I'm going to end up on a chocha post when substituting (ahem!) leggings for pants. ;)

Tavi said...

Oh man, my perfect round of choca! The Tampax line is PERFECT.
And now I know what to say when every other kid at school is talking about how they got to go to Disneyland when they were little: "I don't need to go to your theme park to get the ultimate Choca Experience!"

Nickie Frye said...

YIKES! What on EARTH? So gross. Get some leggings! WOOF, ladies.

Rosie Unknown said...

I'm fairly certain the you save me form millions of fashion disasters every week, cause I am terrified that I will some how end up in here.

Anonymous said...

wow. just wow.
oh, and about "super lady" (ahem) it actually improves her chances of winning to fight bad guys w/ her boobs falling out--ups the distraction factor.

Anonymous said...

wow. oh man.
but about "super lady", having her boobs hanging out actually improves her chances of winning against the bad guys. ups the distraction factor.

Drisana said...

Hilarious as usual, and I agree, "chocha experience" sounds ... exciting!

By the way, when going to get lunch today, I heard a guy try to explain to another the meaning of "chocha" in sophisticated terms. Best conversation ever.

violetville said...

haha, hilarious! i really like the brazilian woman who's holding the child - the child is half-naked as well, with some sort of jumper and no top.
and yeah, american apparel's ads do not make me want to buy clothing.

Fashion Court said...

so i'm totally the one who sent in the chocha experience photo. and i am so proud to see it on here ;) i may have squealed.

that made me sound like a total weirdo, but i'll take it.

whitepaige said...

love those pixs its made my day just kidding..

Plus Size Bras said...

I really love all the pictures, esp., one with the child. The child also looks cute. It is true that women in dresses other than shirts look so cute.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this. This is such a widespread trend in Sweden, I've actually walked down a street in Stockholm with three teenage girls infront of me, seeing (disbelieving) one of the girls underwear through her (not thick) black tights... She had the whole "My t-shirt is actually a dress" attitude and her whole bottom was on full display, in bright daylight. Maybe she thought her tights would provide coverage, but sadly no.

She wore thongs by the way.....

Kitty said...

Dust ruffle?! Hmmmm. Possibly effective... just saying.

Dominique said...

Some sociology major did a survey with the newspaper and came to conclusion that it's desensitizing and blah blah blah. It's true. Those ads verge on pornographic. American apparel e_e

Anonymous said...

kate said...

i don't like the metaphor those pink shorts are trying to make.... oh god now i'm thinking about them! they are so creeeeepyyy

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