Sunday, August 17, 2008

SIX Men's Fashion First Impressions: Why does the bag have a crotch?

Nope, that's not a capitalized three-letter typo that happens to make sense in context, you read it right: today is a landmark day in Daddy Likey history. Today (well, actually last Friday, but I was too busy to post until now), I decided to shake things up and keep the Five Men on their divalicious toes by inviting a guest Man to share his first impression of a fashion item. (Click here if you're a new reader and want an explanation of this confusing "Five Men" business.)

The natural choice for the first ever Sixth Man (disregarding Kadeem Hardison's masterful performance, forgive me) was Mr. Thomas Wong from The Sunday Best, a longtime fan of FMFFI and style maven (manven?) extraordinaire.

For today's special installment of SMFFI, I decided to show the men something a little more subtle than, say, this, something fairly mainstream with fairly strange details, something that could make an articulate and stylish blogger exclaim, "It looks like it has boobs!" Something like this:

Alexander Wang Zipper Hobo (Click to see it bigger), $796,

And now, the men:

Father: It looks kind of scrotal with zippers. There is nothing about it that makes me happy.

Boyfriend: I'm just really confused by it. Does it come apart in the middle so you can make two bags?

Me: Like an amoeba?

Boyfriend: Yeah! Cool.

Brother, age 21: It looks like an ass.

Brother, age 18: Obviously stolen from the set of an early eighties German porno.

Bob: A robot's butt? I don't know. It doesn't look all that strange really. Too many zippers. It seems like if you opened that zipper in the middle all of your stuff would fall out.

Aaaaannnnnnddd last but not least:

The Sixth Man: It looks like short pants for German midget fetish play. Wait, it's a bag. Why is there a zipper in the bag's crotch? Why does the bag have a crotch?

Not bad, Thomas, not bad at all.

As always, if you'd like to hear the men's opinions on a particular fashion item, send me an email. And if you'd like to nominate yourself or an opinionated man in your life to be the Sixth Man sometime in the future, write me a short poem around the theme: "Men and Fashion" and I'll consider it.


Bex said...

hahha this post made me laugh out loud!!

WendyB said...

That reminds me, I have to post something I fondly call "the ass bag" though it could also be called a "crotch bag."

jess said...

haha.I almost squirted water out of my nose

Pamcasso said...

Mwahaha! hilarious! Good of you to take whoever was swooning over these in the NYT today down a notch:) Also, not to be pervy, but which of your brothers is the one that looks like Robert Downey Jr?? if it's the one who said it was stolen from an eighties german porno set, I think our future relationship is meant to be. Or, he could parlay his RDJ-ness into some sort of youtube dating show...

Valentina said...


It kind of looks like some sleeping animal to me. The pouches are the eyes (zippered shut?) and the straps are the ears... or something.

Kind of like in Horror films, it'd be one of the nondescript things in the background then it would pop to life to scare the audience.

Bekah said...

the two smaller front parts look like two little minions attached to a big monster...and they're smiling at me like they want to eat me :(

TheSundayBest said...

I see your brother and I have a keen eye for German pornographic props. That should probably disturb me but it actually makes me quite chuffed.

Lisa said...

So many pockets on one bag, so many dirty analogies in one post. Love it!

Annie Spandex said...

LOL, and they're absolutely right..!

Anonymous said...

HA. I am clearly even more of a prude than I thought. I just saw a bag. With some zippers.

Anonymous said...

No. Germany isn't really that bad. :-)

Greetings from there.

Miss Cavendish said...

That is a truly hideous bag. I see how it could be mistaken for anatomy. But what a sorry piece of anatomy!

Joanna Goddard said...

this post was genius.

what about gladiators? my boyfriend hates.

Megan said...

Joanna, I agree w/ your boyfriend, gladiators belong in the distant past.

Winona, the six men never disappoint.

What is the purpose of the middle zipper? Is it merely decorative?

P.Hobbs said...

I LOVE your dad's comment "There is nothing about it that makes me happy." Bwahahaha. I don't know why I find that so damn funny!!!

I have to agree that it definitely looks like short pants for a german midget fetish play. Seriously.

The men in your life are rad Nona.

Anonymous said...

LOL looks like a combat survival vest for some crazy ass sex biach!

Ivy Frozen said...

lol Are more and more men going to be slowly added to this feature? Personally, the bag reminds me of Cerberus. The protector of the underworld and your moneys.

TheCautionaryWhale said...

This is ~hilarious~! That bag really does have an arse. How terrifying.

Anonymous said...

very nice bag....very interesting blog...

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