Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Five Men's Fashion First Impressions: Gas Planets & Man Hands

It's been a long while indeed, but the men are back in action, baby. If you're new to the blog, you might want to catch up on the FMFFI phenom by reading the intro here, or clicking on the FMFFI label below to read the whole archive of confused men vs. high fashion.

In case you're too lazy to click on links, and because I'm an enabler, allow me to explain: Five Men's Fashion First Impressions is a popular feature here at Daddy Likey, in which I ask my boyfriend, dad, and brothers for their opinions on a slightly puzzling (often, really puzzling) piece of high fashion, and publish the first things that come out of their mouths (or, in the case of my dad today, the first many things, plus a photo).


Today's fashion item is this incredibly, er, substantial bracelet from Matthew Williamson's runway show:

I must confess that I lifted this photo from one of Queen Michelle's posts, but I figured that since she's a fan of FMFFI, she wouldn't mind (hopefully, she'll spare my head). You might also recognize the bracelet from Mischa Barton's unfortunate British Elle cover, hilariously dissed here by The Fug Girls.

I happen to think this bracelet is beyond cool (yes, seriously), but let's see what the men make of it, shall we?


Brother, Age 12: Hmmm...it looks like a basketball with a hole through it covered in beads and snakeskin and candy wrappers. Or is it a disco ball?

Brother, Age 17: That's a real thing? (Thoughtful pause) Did someone already say, 'Jupiter?'
Me: No.
Brother, Age 17: Jupiter. Or any gas planet, I guess.

Father: (Long silence) It looks like a bracelet with Elephantiasis.
Me: What the hell is Elephantiasis?
Father: It's a filarial disease. It makes your extremities swell up, among other things...(Another long silence as he stares at the photo)...That's a man's hand.
Me: No it's not.
Father: Yes it is.
Me: No, I have a full photo of the woman walking down the runway.
Father: Oh yeah? Well, she has man hands.
(Another long silence as he stares at the photo, then opens desk drawer to retrieve his extremely chic magnifying glasses, shown below*)

After studying the photo intently under magnification, he proclaims, "That's a man's hand. I'd bet money on it; that is a MAN's hand."

Boyfriend: (Eyes widen in surprise) Your dad was right. Those do look like man hands.

Brother, Age 20: I want to know what kind of man wears a complete purple silk jumpsuit.
Me: Do you think those are a man's hands too?
Brother, Age 20: They are.


So, I did a little digging on Style.com and found that the apparently man-handed model is Hilary Rhoda. Hilary, I apologize. Maybe we could do lunch and put this whole gender-questioning thing behind us, eh?


*Concerning this photo, my dad says, "This is me smiling," and my mom says, "Back off, ladies, he's mine."

21 comments:

maya said...

i agree with you i adore those braclets. but i have to say i do also agree with 3 of your men and have to say that i did originally think they were man hands although i did then see the hip right next to them and thought maybe not.

Queen Michelle said...

Oh god, this makes me laugh every time! I think her hands look like man hands because they weight of the bracelet has cut the circulation off to her arm thus giving her the attractiveness popping veins.

ashley churchill said...

i'm in love with your family.

katie-lilga said...

haha ha the hwole man hands thing!

can i ask you a reeeeally annoying question?? oh alright if you insist...y'know the way you might sometimes write something like, eh, i dunno...'click here' and the 'here' is all linkable and clickable and brings you to the place it refers to?? how on earth do you you do that?? i just always end up sticking in the entire url because i cant work out how to do it...sorry for the annoyance...=]

Anonymous said...

katie-lilga, the HTML for a link is:

<a href="http://www.blogger.com">Click here to go to Blogger's web site</a>

Kori said...

HA this wass hysterical! Your family is amazing...I always enjoy the FMFFI posts.

Inside the Pages said...

I stumbled across your blog recently and am so glad. It's hilarious. Love the FMFFI (I read the previous posts and by the way, men's love of Willow does not start and stop with your family. I cannot tell you how many times I've heard "out of the way, peck" myself. ...So many that I can quote it perfectly and I've only seen the movie once.) Great work.

michelle said...

Oh goodness, you dad is a riot, and your brothers. I agree, totally has man hands, and it does look like a gas planet, they should consider a job in fashion!

The Narcist said...

Your dad is one handsome man. No wonder why your mom is so jealous;)

Candid Cool said...

ahhh, it's like seinfeld, now that i look those are man's hands. and that 12 yr old brother is very observant.

Jamie said...

Beyond hilarious! These posts never fail to make me happy.

jess p. said...

i want to be adopted by your clan!

Mike said...

These are real funny! Reminds me of the shots I had with my granddad, when he was holding a couple of engraved flasks.

Anonymous said...

Oh god, I'm reading your blog at one in the morning which is usually enough to induce minor giggles, but the FMFFI archives gave me a solid ten minutes of muffled laughter so as to not wake my parents.

I love the boys' reactions, especially your twelve year old brother's. The "widow" joke was particularly amusing, and so much more witty than my own twelve year old brother. Wanna trade? :P

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Jillian said...

yay for hilary rhoda! i have man hands too..they are popular! you didn't know that? omg where have you been? LOL

K'rina said...

OMG.
You had me pissing myself this whole post! you are hilarious!

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