Yes, it's time again for a feature that proved quite popular in its recent debut. In case you're just tuning in, FMFFI is when I ask my five men (father, boyfriend, brothers) for their (always) honest opinion of a controversial fashion item, and confusion and hilarity ensues.
Today, the gender representatives were shown a picture of this Alexander McQueen ostrich feather hem dress, currently selling on Net-A-Porter for a cool $10,730:
And now, the men:
The boyfriend: Ooooorrggghhhhh (painful little moaning sound)....That's horrible! It looks like an ostrich! Oh, it is an ostrich. Why??
The father: (Recoils in disgust) Aw, jesus christ. (Points to the ostrich egg that is for some reason sitting on a shelf behind our computer, yes, seriously) You should say that you can lay one of those with this dress.
Brother, age 11: Ugly. What's the price?
Me: Ten thousand dollars.
Brother, age 11: Oh my god.
Brother, age 17: The skirt looks like that one giant muppet's head*.
Brother, age 19: (Curiously calm and withdrawn, shaking his head) It doesn't speak to me. It doesn't speak to me.
*Upon further prodding and google image searching, we realized the muppet in question was indeed "Sweetums," star of The Muppet Movie and shown here in a screenshot with costar Milton Berle:
Alexander McQueen can shave/slaughter as many ostriches as needed for his fashions, but for the love of god, spare Sweetums.