Sunday, September 14, 2008

Welcome to the New Daddy Likey, Sponsored by Honee Darby

I get a lot of emails from PR people, advertising reps, reputable Nigerian bankers, etc. Some of these messages contain useful information, some of them are funny, some of them are morally reprehensible ("We'll pay you $150 to subtly encourage your readers that they are fat and should consider liposuction! But don't tell them you're getting paid or else we won't pay you!") and some of them, are, well, this:

Hi Webmaster,

I am Honee and interested in sponsoring your blog We are offering you $8.00 for the posted links on your site. You will be paid $8.00 for this link on your blog. The due date will be 2 days after the links will be given to you.

Simply mentioned the keywords anywhere within the body of each post and write one post in every keyword. It should be not less than 150 words and must be a unique content. You can write it on your own journalistic style but don't give negative comment about the keywords given to you. Hateful or rude review will be declined and please don't mention that the post is a sponsored one or placed it in any category that is called sponsored paid. The anchor text or keyword, where you are to direct the link through should be used in its exact given form.

Keywords are 'casino' related. Kindly inform me if these are okay and we will give you all the details for posting.

We will be paying thru PayPal after your review has been approved. Please let me know if you want to continue with my offer. And kindly add my email address to your email address book to make sure your spam filter does not discard any important messages from us. Please let me know if you have any further questions and if you are interested on this offer.

Yours truly,

Honee Darby

I thought it would be an interesting experiment to see what my life--and this blog--might be like if I decided to accept $8 to send my readers subliminal messages about casinos. So here are a few popular Daddy Likey features, sponsored-style:

O! Gorgeous satchel!
Green like a Godly apple

Ask me for one adjective to desribe these shoes, I'd say "delicious:"

Ask me for another, I'd say, "filling." Ask me for another, I'd say, "CASINO."



Dear Daddy Likey,

I was wondering if you had any tips for transitioning from a summer wardrobe to a fall wardrobe?

Sweating in Sweaters

Dear Sweating,

Ah yes, I was just thinking about this the other day while kicking back at a CASINO. Man, I just love CASINOS. In fact, maybe you should meet me at the CASINO and we'll eat some prime rib and crab and I'll tell you exactly how to transition from a summer wardrobe to a fall wardrobe. Bring a sweater. CASINOS tend to get a bit chilly. CASINO CASINO CASINO!

I've gotta go count my eight dollars now. Peace out.


Pamcasso said...

OMG hilarious. I recently won both the British and Swiss lotteries myself, so yeah... suck on that Europeans! also, if you like NPR This American Life this week had something to do with the Nigerian schemes, and bitchy americans geeks who may have sent them to their deaths...

Erin said...

Haha I love that you outed them, but think of how you could have invested that $8?

amanda said...

Who else has a hankering for a game of Keno?

Tabby said...

I LOL'd so hard at this, even more so because I've read a few blogs where they must actually be partaking in these 8-bucks-per-random-word schemes.

WendyB said...

Get me to Vegas, STAT!

Smaggle said...

Ha ha ha! That's hilarious. You totally broke the rules though by telling us that it was paid. You might not get your extra special $8 now.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAA, Winona I love you for this.

Anna said...

Ok, I'm off to the CASINO. Meet you there (at the CASINO) in 20 mins?

Anonymous said...

This just solidified your status as my hero on MySpace.

PS: Casino

Lisa said...

Excuse me while I look for my gambling sneakers...

Samantha said...

"Thank you for the enlightening post. Appreciate it a lot.
Subliminal messaging can indeed be very powerful. Interesting enough, a website (non-aff link) sells a bunch of subliminal programs. Might be interesting to check them out. "

Helen said...

Hilarious post. I have a real urge to go to a casino now

sophie said...

"please don't mention that the post is a sponsored one or placed it in any category that is called sponsored paid."

tisk tisk!


LenoreNeverM♡re said...

absolutely heeheelarious!!!
It's only 8 hours drive to Vegas,
no problem, I have gas money...

Dressed and Pressed said...

Okay... Firstly, I laughed so hard I almost choked on a grape. How would I get to the CASINO then? Secondly, her name is whatnow? Honee Darby? Why didn't she (if she is, in fact, female) just go the whole hog and get a proper porn name like Honee Ryder? Thirdly, how much do I love Woodrow? Seriously.

Kate Coveny Hood said...

LOVE IT! You are a riot.

Anonymous said...

You are so funny Winona. Love your blog.

TheSundayBest said...

I couldn't help but replace CASINO with all the other keywords one gets as SPAM...and now I have to go laugh quietly for about an hour.

Oh man...ED....hahahahahahaha.

Anonymous said...

HA! I would also describe those shoes as casino. If I do so on my own blog, do you think Honee will share the wealth?

Dennise said...

I love it! You know, it's interesting to see that these people have no shame in asking you to straight up influence your readers to gamble. Ballsy, indeed.

C said...

I was laughing like a strangled seal by the end. Give me your address: that was totally worth $8.

Elizabeth said...


Where's my eight bucks?


(do you think they fell for it?)

Anonymous said...

I was soooo annoyed, just by that chick's name, that I decided to Google her and see what I found. I came across another Blog that mentioned her offer:

Too funny!

Pret a Porter P said...

u never fail to crack me up

Kim said...

That post single-handedly brought me out of intense anger at my bank for not being able to activate my new debit card (to use at the casino).
Prime rib and crab, haaaaaa!!!

LallaLydia said...

Is this like "Bloge Expose"? ROFL. Glad Washington hasn't sapped you of your humor! xoxo

Bekah said...

*stares straight ahead* caaasssiiinnnnoooo.....?
I almost crappedd myself before I realized that this was a joke. I thought to myself: WHAT?! WINONA WOULDN'T DO THAT! OH NO! WHAT HAS THE WORLD COME TO! then I kept reading, and was delightfully brought down to the DL.
aahhhh, thanks for not selling out Winona. Keep it real. haha

brunsli said...

Hey! I just got the same email, but Honee only offered me $5. No fair!

FlyyGurl said...

Lmao! Girl,I love this blog.

Robin said...

Love love love the green bag, and congratulations on the sudden windfall! Almost enough for starbucks!

Anonymous said...

Don't let your mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own

Anonymous said...

We have different means! What's your purpose of having sites? Well, different purpose, right? If your purpose is for business goodwill, you have the right to advertise. And if your purpose is- just to enjoy people, most likely you just need to update and make some funny post and that's it! And if your purpose is for popularity… making and publishing posts that you think people would love- well, that’s your choice! Just don’t mind their business.

Anonymous said...









Anonymous said...

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