Just in case my rave review a couple days ago didn't convince you of DiorShow's mascaral (that's what "mascara" looks like as an adjective, my friends) superiority and/or my penchant for dramatic exaggerations, check out this true life story:
I was on my way to an appointment with my academic adviser yesterday when I ran into my friend Khathy.
"Where are you going?" I asked. We had film studies together in an hour and she appeared to be hurrying in the wrong direction.
She gestured to the door. "I'm headed to Nordstrom to get that mascara you wrote about yesterday."
I beamed with joy. The feeling of being both a good friend and a powerful force of capitalism is really hard to beat.
"Oh my gosh, you so won't regret it!" I shrieked. "Look at my lashes! Just look at them!" Possible DiorShow side effect: You may become completely eyelashotistical (that's what "eyelash" combined with "egotistical" looks like, my friends, and good god that didn't work out as well as I'd hoped).
"I know! I've been searching for good mascara forever!"
At this moment, a woman popped her head around the stairwell we were standing in. "Did I hear someone say 'good mascara'?" She asked, her voice heavy with hope.
I looked at Khathy to see if she knew this strange, mascara-obsessed eavesdropper. She looked as vaguely confused as I did, which made me wonder just how long this woman had been lurking in the stairwell, waiting for someone to say 'good mascara.' Weeks? Months? Years? Perhaps she was like the tragic Thackery Binx in Hocus Pocus, cursed to live in purgatory as a talking cat for 300 years until the sunlight-induced death of the Sanderson sisters finally granted him his mortality, except of course this woman started out as a cat and the only thing that can turn her back is 'good mascara'?
I had so many questions, but I decided that raving about DiorShow was more important than finding out if this woman was actually a cat. After all, I am studying to be a beauty editor.
"It's called DiorShow," I said, "It's by Christian Dior. It's pricey, but it's worth it. It's the best mascara ever."
"Alright," the cat said, "good to know." And then she walked away.
p.s. If you haven't seen Hocus Pocus, yes, that is Sarah Jessica Parker on the right, and no, I'm not going to explain what the hell I'm talking about in this post. Go rent it. And start living.
p.p.s.s. If you have seen Hocus Pocus and you're still confused by this post, please be forgiving, as yesterday I was 5 minutes late for my film class on the day we were watching Mulholland Drive, a movie that apparently makes little to no sense if you see the whole thing, and causes straight-up psychosis if you miss the first 5 minutes. God I hate my life.