Wednesday, February 06, 2008

The Big Green

Sometimes I am a stupid consumer. Use the word "creme" on anything, for example, and I will buy it and eat it (even if it's, like, lotion...not my best moment). Or sometimes, when Sienna Miller puts on a certain shade of lipstick, I'll go to the MAC counter and request the exact same shade and buy it without trying it on and secretly expect it to give me fabulous cheekbones.

Recently, my (and the rest of the country's) sheepish compulsion has come to include anything labeled, "green," "natural," "organic," "eco-friendly," or any other form of "not poison." So when I walked past a big green display (sidenote: Does anyone else remember The Big Green?) lauding the launch of Physicians Formula's Organic Wear 100% Natural Origin Tinted Moisturizer, I became intrigued (and when I say "intrigued," I mean "a brainwashed imbecile"). Upon closer inspection, I noticed that the product description included the word "organic" six times, the bottle was an adorable tan and green leafy design, and there was a big green (teehehe) coupon for $3 off the $10 price tag sitting on the shelf next to it. This marketing team was good, real good. I was a goner.


Here is a brief description of my thought process as I grabbed a tube, a coupon, and ran for the checkout:

-This is such a good deal! I'd be a fool to pass up a deal this good!
-As much as I love my Clinique tinted moisturizer, it costs 30 damn bucks a tube! If I can replace it with this stuff, I can spend the difference on a burger and a ticket to Fool's Gold!
-BAAAHHH THE TITLE SAYS NATURAL AND ORGANIC! NO MORE THINKING! MUST BUY!

So, I laid down my seven dollars and I went home and opened it up and slathered it all over my face and I felt really good about myself until it hit me: This stuff sucks.

First of all, it smelled like cheap foundation spiked with patchouli. Since I had smeared a generous amount under my nose and also have a generous amount of pride (like hell I'm just gonna wipe it off and admit defeat!), I got to be reminded of this all day, and developed a generous headache. Secondly, the color was ironically unnatural. I turned a sort of sallow orange, and all of my pores seemed to double in size (perhaps they were gasping for some non-organic air?).

I returned my impulse buy the next day, and ran out of my Clinique supply shortly after. For the moment, I've given up wearing tinted makeup on my face. It feels kind of natural.

p.s. I wish I could say this experience cured me of my "green" trigger, but it hasn't at all. I bought a tube of natural mascara just yesterday, in fact. Stay tuned.

16 comments:

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Anonymous said...

Natural mascara? I thought you were a die-hard DiorShow gal? Which I tried, by the way, and it was good, but I've gone back to Clinique's Long Pretty Lashes. DiorShow did start clumping on me; Clinique never has, and it makes my lashes look long and natural.

faith said...

LOL! great post, as usual!

G said...

Hysterical. And there lies the perfect example of “greenwashing.” And on your face to boot. I'm currently using the tinted moisturizer by Afterglow Cosmetics, sold at many Whole Foods stores. Good performance; not totally "green" but safer than most drugstore/mainstream brands.

Anonymous said...

I have been converted to Bare Minerals...not sure if it is completely "natural", but it does make my skin look almost flawless. For a girl with oily skin and huge pores, plus occasional red blemishes, this was a huge deal!

lisa said...

Aww sorry to hear about your bad Physicians Formula tinted moisturizer experience. I stick to Cetaphil normally because my skin is so volatile, but on the rare occasions I do wear makeup, I love the PF mineral pressed powder and concealer. I don't use that much, but when I check myself out in photos of me with makeup on, my skin looks pretty fabulous.

SGM said...

Oh, I'm the same way!
Had the same, yet more pricey, experience with Juice beauty. Stin-ky! And ineffective.

lee jones said...

i suffer from the same " it's organic = i'll automatically buy it " syndrome. once i think it's a bit healthy or that i'll help the world my mind goes to goop. i gotta say, it's a great way to get customers.

anastasia said...

When it comes to green beauty, I usually reason that it's probably worse to buy, and throw away, thus filling the landfills, than to stick with what I normally use. This is especially true because so many of those products make claims about being green, but aren't really all that green (sort of like the "claims to not be animal tested, but pretty much everything is animal tested anyway"). Think of all the packaging you waste when you buy green you know you'll throw away!

IHGP said...

The claim that a product is not tested on animals is often not true. You should regard your own skin as the ultimate testing site for many of these products.

christine said...

ugh! patchouli = instant headache. I am also glad I'm not the only one with a secret, burning desire to see Fool's Gold! yikes.

Guerreira said...

I have the same problem but with anything that costs under £5. I am not proud of it, but it's there and I find it very hard to fight it. Hi, my name is Guerreira and I am a 5poundsaholic.

Anonymous said...

Have you tried the Aveda tinted moisturizer? It's about $20 rather than $30, and is fantastic. Plus, Aveda is all about being eco friendly.

the iron chic said...

Try as I might, organic products never work the same...
Especially the toothpaste, I need foam.
And I don't want to fuck around with deodorant.

Cate said...

what the hot jesus is that ad up there? also, nona, maybe you should smell things before you buy them. i'm also of the headachey variety when it comes to strong smells i don't like, and i alway do a sniff test.

Shop With A Vengeance! said...

Ooh! Thanks for posting, I just passed on this stuff last night at CVS. I don't know how I escaped the adorable marketing, but good thing I did, lol.

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