Tuesday, February 12, 2008

Douchision 2008

So, for awhile now, my eighteen-year-old brother (of frequent guest post fame) has wanted to get a pair of aviator sunglasses. Whenever he comes to my house, he puts on my favorite pair of Valentinos and admires himself in the mirror, muttering things like, "If only! If only!" As soon as I suggest he wear them outside, though, he screeches, "NO!," slams them down on the table, and reverts back to a life spent squinting into the sun.

His reasoning for this is simple: "I don't want to look like a fuckin' douchebag."

I'm all for wearing what you want, but life's rough out there for a teenage boy. My other brother got pulled over eight times by the same cop just for wearing a sideways baseball cap. Which was pretty douchey, yeah, but still.

Remember how I encouraged you to vote in the primaries? Well, this is way more important.

What do you think?
Total. Douche.
No Douches Here.
pollcode.com free polls

30 comments:

Robin Claire said...

Definitely doucheless.

Queen of Sheba said...

You know Eddie Izzard, right? So your brother's riding that five-degree segment of the circle between coolcool hip and groovy . . . and looking like a dickhead.

This is not just your brother, however; most people wearing aviator sunglasses ride that very fine line.

Ringo said...

as an eighteen year old girl, i like it. =)

Hyena In Petticoats said...

If he has a secret yearning to go out in public wearing those glasses, he should just do it!

And if he doesn't want to be a douchebag, tell him to make sure he doesn't act like one, and it won't matter what he's wearing......

xxx

laila said...

first impression?

"What we got here is ...

failure to communicate."

I don't know, I just took a 30 minute nap. My hand tendons are sore from punching! I love it!

Kate said...

As a seventeen year old girl, I approve as well.

Plus, he's got the cool hair.

Jello on Springs said...

So not a douche, more like hottie.

mary said...

unfortunately your brother is extremely douche-looking, aviators or not. maybe if that facial hair was gone it would change matters a bit....but, and i dont intend to be mean or negative, i am getting a HUGE douche vibe from that picture.

and sadly, if anyone would know douches, it would be me. (in the man sense. not the vaginal hygiene sense!)

Anonymous said...

D-Train!

You must wear those glasses.
I think that they look stunning on you.

Don't listen to that Mary chick...
Facial Hair = Thumb Up
Glasses = 2 Thumbs Up
Mary = if I had 3 thumbs they would be down


- That One Lindsay Grl

Kate said...

I am leaning douche based on appearance, but know that it can't be true if he's your brother.

Mrs DePoint said...

He can wear aviators, just not those. Too big. Big=Girl Glasses. He needs to score some classic MEN'S RayBans. Problem solved.

isabella said...

He's a bit doucheish, but one can never really tell just from a picture.

okaysoivoteddouchesorry.

N/OutofFashion said...

Ahh, with that face you could get away with anything!

Anonymous said...

i'm sure he is not a douche, but they do look kind of ridiculous (just my personal opinion). i also feel compelled to add that he has fabulous hair...i'm talking absolutely gorgeous hair.

Anonymous said...

Isn't it great?!
I'm so jealous...

Mine just sits there while yours is all crazy and flowy...

It's like a small taste of fabio..
except curly and brown
and with huge glasses.
That aren't douche.
At all.
No.

- That One Lindsay Grl

Thea Orange said...

He's cool! My little borther has stolen my sister's leg warmers. It could be said that yours is cooler.

fritha louise said...

Take it from a 17 year old girl who knows a fair few douchebags - this is about as far away from douche as possible. The hair (on his head and face, both types) is fab, and the glasses look great. And from the guest posts he's done I'm pretty sure he's not the kind to give off a douchebag vibe either.

Peajai said...

I think it looks cute with the messy hair! If he starts slicking his hair back with gel, he's veering into dangerous douche territory.

Joanna Goddard said...

your brother is so cute! runs in the family:)

Milena said...

this was tough. the doucheness isn't instantly apparent--I really had to look at the picture hard. his expression is so stern. if he had a big goofy smile it definitely wouldn't be douchish at all. in all, i think he looks rather stunning..

The Douche said...

Thanks for all the comments on my pic (is it douchy to say pic?) I like to think of myself as someone who when they enter a Starbucks at midnight gives the douche weary clerks a sigh of relief. My only hope is that in a world fraught with douches that I can inspire the youth to not go down that path.

Cheryl Alena Bartram said...

Actually, he looks a lot like Hawksley Workman in those glasses. That is a very, very good thing.

Moxie said...

Maaaaaan, people really need to stop using the term "douche" or "douchebag" as insult. It's entire deal is that being compared to a vagina or the water being rinsed of a vagina is disgusting. Do you think your vag is gross? No? Then stop perpetuating. For the record, I think calling people a 'dick" is uncool, as well. Let's roll with something funnier and more creative, eh?

Sara said...

Dude, those glasses and the whole look are just douchetastic in general. The facial hair alone is douchetastic, but in combination with the glasses and the messy hair, it is off the charts!! He looks like a coked up celebribrat.

ryc said...

Man, I can't believe I'm coming out of lurking/hiding to comment on a picture of your BROTHER. I'm frikkin lametastic.

In any case, yeah he totally looks like a douchebag but a HOT douchebag who'd probably make me turn around just to catch one more glimpse of him. (Now I also feel completely dirty cuz this is somewhat like hitting on your best friend's younger bro).

(This is horrible and I don't mean to start a huge fight in the comments, but yeah I think vag's are kind of nastay. and yeah i'm a girl. i guess i'm just not as RAWR GIRL POWER as i wish i could be).

ryc said...

oh and in case it matters, blahblah, i'm a 21 year old female. in case he wants to know if he's douchey looking to the older ladies or the younger ladies, etc.

Anonymous said...

Alright, this is a circle of honesty, right? Any sibling of the Daddy Likey chick is surely a descendant of charming, un-douche-y genes, but in first-impression terms ... yes. He does.

The best thing to do, I think? Just to follow his (fashion) heart, and as some other wise commenters have said, just act un-douche-like! Nothing like keepin' ;em on their toes. :P

Prêt-à-Porter P said...

i think the way he acts would be the tipping pt, im sure he's a stand up gentleman :) go for it

Becky said...

Not at all douchey. Pretty hot, actually (he's 18, right? So I don't sound like a total perv?).

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