Friday, February 01, 2008

Five Men Vs. Marc Jacobs

I recently received the following email in regards to this shoe, which made its debut on the Marc Jacobs Spring 2008 runway:

Dearest Winona,
Can you explain these shoes to me? I can't seem to grasp how they "work"...and by that I mean, unless we all walk "en pointe", how do they function in the real world? I was hoping perhaps you could shed some light on these quirky pumps that Mr. Jacobs has dreamed up and (somehow) put on the runway.

Confounded in Carolina

Dear Confounded,

Sure, I could try to explain these shoes (and my explanation would surely include the confession that I kind of sort of intensely love these, and would you be OK with that?), but wouldn't you rather hear what my five fashion-clueless men think of them? Yeah, that's what I thought. So here you go:

Brother, age 12: (Stares for awhile) It looks like one of those babies that’s born with, like, 8 limbs, except its got one of the limbs in the wrong place.

Brother, age 20: What do you want me to say? It's ugly. It's useless.

Brother, age 18: (Laughs) Uhhh... (Laughs some more) First impression? Someone in the factory made a mistake.

Boyfriend: Oh jesus! What the fuck! I wasn't expecting that...Wait, how would that work? (Stands up and attempts to walk with his heel raised in the air) That wouldn't work at all! It'd be so uncomfortable! But it would be a good workout for your calves, yeah?

Father: It looks like it was designed and made by a cross-eyed dyslexic with ADHD.

[Editor's Note: That's right, my dad just threw down with Marc Jacobs! He's bold! He's fearless! Or...he has no idea who Marc Jacobs is...]


Chic and Charming said...

wow! you have a lot of brothers.
I also love these shoes!

WendyB said...

Your family is a tough audience! Remind me not to mess with them.

Sister Libby said...

Bahaha. Your family & co. makes me laugh(see "bahaha" above).

ThatLindsayGrl said...

... I love these shoes!!
I've gotta get me a pair!

Blue Floppy Hat said...

Never Mess With The Brotherhood (yours, that is), I say! I wonder how one walks in them, actually- who knows, it might just be possible.

N/OutofFashion said...

I like the shoes, but only as a piece of art.

In a clear box with a spotlight = gorgeous

On someone's actual foot = strange

Katie said...

your dad totally needs his own blog.

Lady Language said...

You know how I love the manly comments! Functionally, these shoes make no sense...but as fashion art, they're quite interesting.

applediva said...

Did this shoe send Marc J to rehab? If not, there needs to be an intervention ASAP!!

Anonymous said...

hahahaha i love your dad.

Allison said...

Marc Jacobs is my absolute favorite designer! I don't care that these shoes may not be functional, they are genius!

Please check out my own blog at

Winona I love your blog!

diamondcanopy said...

haha your family are hilarious!

SICK. said...

hhaa, love it.
especially your twelve-yr-old borther's comment.


lisa said...

Teeheehee this post made me giggle, but the Five Men usually do! As for the shoes, I guess you can't follow the "heel, toe, heel, toe" rule for walking in high heels with those eh?

Shallom (Editor) said...


I have a pair of shoes like this (sadly, not MJs but Irregular Choice in a similar concept) and they feel just like regular heels. Surprisingly easy to walk in, but they get very strange looks. I always forget I'm wearing weird shoes and wonder why everyone is staring at my feet.

This is about K.Line said...

Hilarious post!

I want to like these shoes but everytime I look at them I get dizzy. Strangely, they kind of freak me out.

maya said...

very funny post but i kind of love the shoes too.

buttonsandstars said...

I really like these shoes. As in REALLY like. I have no idea how you'd walk in them, but I'd love a pair. They'd certainly be a conversation starter!

Princess Poochie said...

I think they're cool too, but I actually like this vintage pair (must be what inspired him), even better


la petite fashionista said...

oh how i love the male perspective haha. :) those shoes are definitely more artistic than they are practical


fashion grenades said...

i just saw these in an ad in W magazine. posh beckham is wearing them, but all you can see are her legs sticking out of a tub. with those.. things.. on her feet. i still can't appreciate marcel duchamp, and these look like something he'd have made.

bowerbird said...

I love boyfriends comment and father...oh, and all your brothers too! yes - pretty silly shoes (I still love you though Marc) but I've also seen atleast they aren't platform as well right?

Thea Orange said...

I think David Blaine would like these shoes

bekahh said...

oh my goodness
those shoes are sick
I just started reading your blog today and this just made me laugh INSANELY

Belle said...

your family = coolest family ever. i just coughed out my tea laughing.

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