It's Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

Well, as promised, it's time once again for Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!, in which I scour the Google search terms that led people to my blog and respond to some of them in a helpful Q&A format. If you'd like a slightly less confusing explanation, click here, and if not, read on (as always--search terms--verbatim--in bold italics, and my responses below):

Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

400 year old diet secrets
I've heard that plague and famine have waaaaayyy better results than LA Weight Loss.

what does chocha mean
Your mother never told you? Gosh, you see? When this stuff isn't taught at home all the responsibility falls on the fashion bloggers. Chocha = vagina. There, I said it.

i have super bad gas daddylikey help me
I just read this out loud to my boyfriend, who said, "I remember a girl in high school who used to load up on Beano whenever she had a date with her boyfriend." Does that help?


how do i snag a man in high school?
As much as I would like to say, "Just be yourself and the guys will come right to you like flies to a sticky self-esteem fly trap!," the fact that I was very much myself in high school (Cranial Pursuit champion! Diehard Wishbone fan! Sufferer of persistent dandruff!) and snagged...hang on a second let me count...uh huh...carry the 2....oh yeah, NO men in high school makes me hesitant to lead you astray. My advice: snag a nerd or wait it out. I guess you could also try Beano.

lindsay lohan doing the crabwalk naked
Well, that's very specific. I'm assuming you wouldn't be interested in Lindsay Lohan simply naked or, perhaps, doing the crabwalk clothed? Yeah, me neither.

how to make tights less tight
That's a kōan, right?

do stripper shoes stretch out?
I hope so. They don't look particularly comfortable straight out of the box.

dresses for short stalky women
I would think that something dark and flexible would be best for activities such as climbing through windows at night and watching people sleep.

has anyone tried sublime bronze from l'oreal?
Ooh! Ooh! I have.

tampons at your boyfriend's house
Try hiding them in plain sight a la The Purloined Letter. Stash a few on his desk with his pens and pencils; slip one into his cigar box; toss a couple into a nice green bean salad. He'll never notice!

what happens if you wear body shaping underwear for too long?
Horrors beyond your most morbid nightmares. OK, OK, I'm kidding. Your lungs will collapse, though.

how much leg to show at church
I'm a huge fan of the Show Some Leg for Jesus philosophy.

why all kids should tuck in their shirts! a must see to believe!
Yeah, I would definitely need to see this to believe this. But hey! I'm loving your enthusiasm!

what are interesting conversation for an 18 year old?
In the name of research, I had the following conversation with my very own 18-year-old brother, Devin:

Me: Hey.
Devin: I'm calling you from work so this better be important.
Me: What's your favorite animal?
Devin: Umm...the mountain lion.
Me: Why?
Devin: Because it's majestic and wild and it represents America and the west. I like the west.
Me: Would you say that this conversation was interesting?
Devin: No.

There you go.