Neanderthal Chic

Working at National Geographic, every day is different, and most days are strange. On Monday, you might spend a couple hours interviewing the world's top experts on mollusks, Tuesday might bring a spirited discussion about hippo infanticide, and Wednesday we're freakin' because we can't find the latest stats on potato consumption in Asia. In a word, it's awesome.

Even so, when my fabulous editor and the vice president of communications came into my humble intern office and said, "We have a naked neanderthal. We want to do something fashion-y. We need your help.", it was a little stranger than usual. And, in a word, it was awesome.

So I spent a week tracking down Project Runway designers and trying to convince them to design an outfit for a neanderthal named Wilma (which is the new opening line of my resume, by the way). The results, including the supremely rad sketch below (courtesy of Blayne), went up on the NGM blog yesterday. Please check it out, and leave a comment about your favorite design, if you feel so inclined!


p.s. Thanks so much to Jezebel, Slaves to Fashion, and the other blogs and news sites that have linked to the post so far!

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, Volume XV

At long, long last, it is time for another installment of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha! The submissions have been rollin' in, and if it didn't sound supremely creepy, I would say something like, "I see more and more chocha every day! It's marvelous!"

If you're just joining us, and you didn't leave after that first paragraph, click here for the scoop on DSYC, and if you're an old hat, read on:

The subject line of Katy's email was And they say being a model is easy...

If I may offer a slight correction: perhaps being a model is easy, but being a model and maintaining your dignity is not.

Bec says: I was looking for a dress to wear to the year 11 Prom. My legs are quite long, so I was looking for something short to show them off, but that covers the rest up. Looking online, I saw some shockers, to say the least, but I nearly wet my pants when I saw this one:

If this girl wet her pants, while not wearing pants, are her pants still wet?
Whoa! Spontaneous koan!

The ever vigilant Tessa came across this offender:

Thank god this is on a mannequin because if this were a real human with any sort of flesh, there would be even more danger of indecent exposure.

Speaking of exposed mannequins:

Says reader Emma: Have they blacked out said chocha with some sort of extra thick square of fabric? I'm confused. I've gotta add that this is the first time I've seen a mannequin actually pulling down the hem of a dress. Seriously. Someone give that mannequin a pair of shorts and a Chips Ahoy. She deserves it.

From Cate: I’m very happy that this young lady is so happy, although I wish she’d spent some time brushing her hair. Or, at least….I WAS happy. Until I scrolled down:

Now that is one proud show-er of chocha.

The next entry comes from the lovely Michaela, who was perusing pics of an Alexander McQueen runway show when she found, well, this:

She says: It seems like all of your warnings might come in too late for this little number! Yeah, I'd say so.

Niki is quite confused by Ashanti's dress and thoughtful pose here:

She seems to be calmly inspecting it during a photo op? By "it" here I'm guessing Niki means "chocha," which qualifies that sentence as one of the best ever written.

Lisa quotes the professional style advice that accompanied the photo below: "The micro mini is one of those essential pieces that every functional wardrobe needs. A black micro mini skirt is fundamental. It can be dressed up or down."

Her brilliant assessment: ...I'll dress it DOWN please!

So, when I receive an email titled "Reverse Chocha," I get a little nervous. And when I open said email and find this, I realize I was totally right to be nervous:

Rachel explains: I was researching stripper pants (don't ask), and came across those beauties. The model is clearly uncomfortable, and 'cha exposure seems imminent. She is posed halfway between the "have to pee" stance and the "help me I'm being eaten by pants" stance.

I love this alternate view, too:

Well, I don't really love it, but I find the pose hilarious.

And finally, to keep the classy theme goin', a few readers sent in this, um, interesting Marc Jacobs ad:

Raeesa: Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, man-style?

Ashley: You know how the rich use $100 bills to wipe? I think he one upped them by choosing a 4-figure bag as a personal port-a-potty.

Annie: If the purse was removed from this photo, a chocha WOULD be showing. But actually, I think this is a guy.

You guys crack me up.

p.s. I'm going to try to get DSYC posts up more regularly, so keep the chocha comin'! Oh god. I'm sorry. Anyway, email me: daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

When Your Closet Is a Backpack

My favorite bible verse goes something like this: And God said, "Let there be internet!" and there was internet, and the fashion blogger could finally dispense style tips for a South American backpacking trip, even though the person who asked probably left already. God damnit.
---------------

Dear Winona,

I find myself in a fashion conundrum, and I wonder if you might be able to help. I will be leaving in a month for a 2-month, 5- country South American backpacking extravaganza! The itinerary includes both urban and rural destinations, and I need to figure out how to look hip in Buenos Aires, while keeping warm on Lake Titicaca, and simultaneously looking hot in Rio (I also will probably do some volunteer work as well, so some of my clothes will inevitably get covered with paint or typhoid). This wardrobe has to fit into a backpack, and survive bus rides, rainy seasons and hostel laundry facilities.

I have an extremely small budget, but I might be able to splurge for one or two essential pieces. However, I am a pretty great seamstress, and can sew anything within reason....What should I buy/make/pack? Help a sister out!

Signed,
In the Buff in Bolivia

Dear In the Buff,

First of all, I'm mega jealous! To make up for not inviting me, will you at least sew me a well-fitting dress? Thanks.

Ah, the South American backpacking extravaganza! A rite of passage! A chance to find yourself! And, most importantly, a supreme fashion challenge!

I haven't gone on a South American backpacking extravaganza (which is probably why I haven't found myself, although I still need to check under the couch), but if I were to go, I would pack a selection of simple pieces that, with minimal effort, can take you from the hiking trail to city and back. For short, we'll call this look, "What everyone wears in Portland, Oregon."

When I read your query, the first thing that popped into my mind was a recent post over at the Fashion-y Blog about Alternative Apparel. The clothes are edgy, cute, but very simple, and check it out, the models are even covered in paint (and possibly typhoid):


Now, of course I'm not saying that you need to buy an entire collection of slightly overpriced eco-friendly athletic wear. But take, as an example, the charcoal tanktop in the upper right hand corner--besides the eerie fact that the model looks EXACTLY like I would after a night or two in the South American jungles (my hair would probably look worse), a flattering tanktop like this would be great paired with some slouchy olive green cargo pants and hiking boots for schlepping around in the jungle ("plus a light long-sleeved layer on top!" screams my brother, "BOT FLIES!"), but then, you get into town, take off your long-sleeved layer, check for bot flies, throw on a comfy/cute blue jersey skirt, some smart flats, and boom, you'd look totally at home in a restaurant or salsa club.

Fine Jersey Drape Skirt (can be worn as skirt or dress, and I'm sure you could make this for, like, $3), $30, americanapparel.net

Continue this theme of easy versatility through the rest of your clothes too, and you'll be able to weave your trail wear into your city wear: a light, waterproof jacket looks great layered over a flowy cotton dress, for example.

I'd really like to hear from other readers on this one, though. Those of you who have gone on backpacking extravaganzas--What did you wear on the trail and in the city? What did you pack that you didn't end up wearing at all? And which was worse, the typhoid or the bot flies?

That Would Be Nice

"I want Tim Gunn to come check on me periodically, just in my regular life. Wouldn't that be nice?"

~My brother, during his first viewing of Project Runway last night

p.s. I have new posts ready to go but blogger hasn't been letting me load photos. Coming up: South American backpacking fashion tips! Don't Show-cha Your Chocha! Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

Follow-up comment that I find equally hilarious:

I couldn't agree more! I can just hear him saying, "Kate, you need to leave for work in two minutes and you haven't even started on hair and makeup yet. I find this troubling. Really- it's 'make it work' time."

~Kate

I think this is the funniest, cutest thing ever:

Dear pre-school

Five Men's Fashion First Impressions!

When I saw this dress a while back, I immediately fell in love with it:

(click to enlarge)

I wanted to own it and eat it and marry it. And after I had planned my purchase/wedding/feast down to the last detail (Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls" would be our first dance, of course, and then I would eat my dress), I thought, "What would The Men think of this?" (As always, if you're confused about the curious capitalization and hyperlinking of The Men, click here for an explanation.)

So I asked 'em:

Brother, age 13: It reminds me of the ocean. It looks like sea shells. Also reminds me of those things that magicians pull out of their throats, all those colorful scarves. And, if I were her, I wouldn't wear it to a cancer research event because it looks like some horrible skin cancer.

Boyfriend: Apparently Kate Beckinsale has found the only designer to practice the age old tradition of gluing tripe to some pieces of fabric and calling it a dress.

Brother, age 21: Oooohhhhh, very nice! I like it! Wait, is that Kate Beckinsale? Hmm...she could do better than a jellyfish dress.

Father: It looks like an intestinal parasite.

Brother, age 18: I guess the vulva look is back in?*

*I would issue an apology here for the sudden vulva talk, but I think this post already weeded out all the readers who would possibly take offense. But if any of you had decided to stay, even after Sallly the Sex-ay Starfish, charitably typing in my URL every day and thinking, "I hope that crude Daddy Likey girl continues this streak of good manners," well, sorry.