I wanted to own it and eat it and marry it. And after I had planned my purchase/wedding/feast down to the last detail (Sean Kingston's "Beautiful Girls" would be our first dance, of course, and then I would eat my dress), I thought, "What would The Men think of this?" (As always, if you're confused about the curious capitalization and hyperlinking of The Men, click here for an explanation.)
So I asked 'em:
Brother, age 13: It reminds me of the ocean. It looks like sea shells. Also reminds me of those things that magicians pull out of their throats, all those colorful scarves. And, if I were her, I wouldn't wear it to a cancer research event because it looks like some horrible skin cancer.
Boyfriend: Apparently Kate Beckinsale has found the only designer to practice the age old tradition of gluing tripe to some pieces of fabric and calling it a dress.
Brother, age 21: Oooohhhhh, very nice! I like it! Wait, is that Kate Beckinsale? Hmm...she could do better than a jellyfish dress.
Father: It looks like an intestinal parasite.
Brother, age 18: I guess the vulva look is back in?*
*I would issue an apology here for the sudden vulva talk, but I think this post already weeded out all the readers who would possibly take offense. But if any of you had decided to stay, even after Sallly the Sex-ay Starfish, charitably typing in my URL every day and thinking, "I hope that crude Daddy Likey girl continues this streak of good manners," well, sorry.