Today, on my way to work, I stepped into the crosswalk on 17th street. I can't be sure if I had a walk signal, because it was 9AM, so I can't be sure if I was wearing a shirt (my memory and common sense don't kick in until 11), but nevertheless, I noticed, in the nick of time, that a black SUV was barreling toward me. I leaped back onto the sidewalk and began to wave my fist in melodramatic protest, directing my most intimidating glare at the offending passengers, one of whom happened to be Joe Biden:
Yes, seated in the middle of a group of Agent Smith lookalikes was the VP hopeful himself. His white hair flowed in the breeze, our eyes met, and I froze, fist raised, screeching something shockingly, finally accurate: "SENATOR!"
Then I almost got run over by his police escort.
Later, I bought some badass shoes to celebrate:
It was a good day.