Wednesday, September 03, 2008
An Imagined Conversation Between Myself and This Model Wearing J. Crew's $98 "Jersey-Knit Pants"
Me: Hey, girl!
Me: Sooo...how about this weather?
Model: Too hot for my tastes, frankly!
Me: Ha! Me too. Whaddya know? We have the same taste in weather!
Me: Did you ever see that movie? Serendipity?
Model: Shut up! That is my favorite movie!
Me: Wait, really? Really?
Model: Yes! You didn't like it?
Me: I never saw it. Kate Beckinsale's character was so damn smug in the preview that I refused to see it and I've held a grudge ever since.
Model: Wow, that movie came out, like, eight years ago.
Me: I know. Holding grudges is one of my greatest talents in life. That, and making marinara sauce. I like your shoes.
Model: Thanks! I was going for an Audrey Hepburn vibe with the pearls and these jersey-knit pants.
Me: Leggings. Those pants. They're leggings.
Model: No, silly, they're jersey-knit pants.
Me: They're stretchy black pants, otherwise known as leggings.
Model: No, no, no, see, they have a zipper in the back, so they're pants.
Me: Lindsay Lohan designed some leggings with a zipper in the back. She also designed some with kneepads in the front and called them something really gross like, "blowjob leggings." Note the word "leggings."
Model: These jersey-knit pants are certainly not leggings!
Me: Look, I love me some leggings. I'm not judging. You're rockin' 'em. I just want you to own it, sister!
Model: They're not leggings!
Me: They surely are.
Model: But I paid $100 for them!
Me: ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS FOR LEGGINGS?
Me: Let's go with jersey-knit pants.
p.s. Thanks Julie!