Thursday, October 16, 2008

CONTEST! Halloween Costume Chronicles

There are few things in this world I hate more than slutty Halloween costumes. I mean, come on—sexy fairy, sexy firefighter, sexy ninja, sexy Pac-Man(!), sexy bunny, sexy sex worker, sexy Mennonite (my friends Meg and Lindsay came up with that one, and actually, I totally approve)—we can do better!

Reader Regina sent me this picture as a Don't Show-cha Your Chocha submission, but it was too perfect for this.

This is why I'm holding a contest to celebrate those of us who put more creative effort into our costume choices, who spend time brainstorming and hitting up thrift stores rather than investing in knee-high fishnets and stripper shoes and responding to fellow party-goers asking "What are you?" with "Duh. I'm SEXY."

I want to hear your best costume stories. What's the most original costume you ever came up with? What's the one you thought was stupid that turned out to be a smashing success? What was the most expensive? The cheapest? What's your craziest Halloween costume experience? If you're one of my fabulous readers who lives outside the US, don't fret—just send me your best costume party story!

For example, a couple years after Batman Forever came out, when my brother Devin was 7 years-old and still in the heated throes of a Val Kilmer/Jim Carrey obsession, he found a disintegrating spandex Riddler bodysuit at the bottom of a discount costume bin. It was printed with big black question marks and came with a mask and was made for a toddler, but Devin was thrilled, and proudly squeezed himself into the bright green one-piece for a long and successful trick-or-treating journey. But unfortunately for the innocent non-pedophiles answering their doorbells that night, the aging spandex was stretched miiiigggghhttyy thin...Let's just say in this costume, his private parts were not an E. Nigma.

Or there was the Halloween my freshman year of college that I got into a serious car accident while dressed as 1920s jazz dancer, and had to tearfully tell the cops my side of the story while a frat party across the street yelled, "Don't listen to her! She's a flapper!"

Maybe when you were five you were intent on dressing up as Henry Kissinger. Maybe last year you went for a traditional sexy librarian costume, and ran into your local librarian. Maybe your mom forced you to be a ghost every year because she didn't know how to sew. Pretty much any great story involving a Halloween costume is fair game! Take ten words or two-hundred to describe it, and feel free to include a photo in your email if it helps, but entries with photos won't necessarily have an advantage. You know I love funny, but poignant stories and wince-worthy humiliations are also welcome. Just do it! EMAIL ME:

I'll post a big group of my favorite entries, to help inspire my lovely readers who are still looking for costume ideas, and one winner will receive a $100 gift certificate from the fabulous! With that kind of moolah, you can afford to dress up every day as, well, someone with rockin' style. 

My readers who are also bloggers--I'd be so grateful for any help getting the word out about this contest, and I'm happy to return the favor in the future!

A huge thank you to ModCloth for helping make this contest possible!

Remember, don't post entries in the comments, email them to me: ALL ENTRIES ARE DUE BY NEXT WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 22nd, and I will announce the winner on Thursday, a week from today. I seriously can't wait to read them!


Anonymous said...

This is so funny and such a good idea! I'm starting to write my entry right now.

Anonymous said...

Ahh, this is going to be hilarious! Unfortunately, I have no memorable Halloween costume experiences to share (well, at least I've never been a sexy-whatsit). However, I've always had this fantasy of gathering a group of people to dress up as the fashion elite a la Zoolander: Karl (which I am planning on trying this year), Anna, "Giorgio", and perhaps Mugatu tagging along. Alas, if only I had real life friends into fashion. :'(


hannah said...

My Halloween costumes have traditionally been the opposite of sexy. Some stunning examples include: a recycling bin, a can of paint, and pregnant. The last one gave my boyfriend quite a shock!

WendyB said...

No one's going to be able to top that story about your brother!

daddylikeyblog said...

Yay! Can't wait to read it!

If we were real-life friends, I'd totally join your fashion elite force!

I had a paragraph in here about how I actually see Halloween as the perfect opportunity to be ugly, so you're a woman after my own heart! A recycling bin?? I seriously love you.

Hahaha yeah it's pretty bad. But I'm confident my readers can top it!

Anonymous said...

I'm gonna have to seriously search the memory banks for this 'un. We haven't done Halloween in AGES.

the upper vest side said...

Fun idea!

Though, my best story might be yet to come. This year, I was inspired by you to dress as a house centipede for Halloween.

Kaume'alani said...

Somehow I always end up as a cat. Original, I know. This year, Jake and I joked about dressing up as this:

Also available in plus size. It would definitely incite some stories.

Annushka said...

I have Halloween-fu!

Two years ago, we had a Seven Deadly Sins party. Everyone had to come dressed as the personification of one sin, and I chose wrath. I bought a cheap pair of black pants and white t-shirt, then took the scalpel from my dissection kit and slashed them both to hell. I plastered some rips shut with electrical tape, stitched some back together awkwardly with red yarn, and left some open. I then wrapped my legs and arms with bike chains and more electrical tape, and also taped some fake knives, swords, and guns. I slung some chains around my neck and rubbed them in fake blood so it looks kind of like I had tire tracks on my neck and face. I splashed myself with fake blood and red illustration ink, painted my nails black and red, and put reddish-pink Manic Panic is my hair, which was a dark plum red at the time. I tried to back-comb it, but since my hair is straight and practically dormant, it just got all snarly. Still, it looked pretty awesome.

In freshman year, I was a Communist hooker. I wore a red and black corset, a black canvas miniskirt held together by safety pins, big black boots, and an authentic Chinese military hat studded with pins and buttons showing Mao, Lenin, red stars, and panda bears. Yeah, pandas are Commies. Don't act like you're surprised. I dropped selections from Mao's Little Red Book and the Communist Manifesto into peoples' treat bags.

I did a couple good ones when I was a kid, too. When I was twelve, I was Luke Skywalker right after he gets his hand cut off. I bought khaki coveralls at a hardware store, made up my face so I looked all bruised, and walked around with one hand covered and waving a lightsaber, trying to scream as authentically as possible.

Another good kid costume was when I was winter. Yeah, the season. I made a skirt out of iridescent white fabric by cutting strips and sewing them so that they hung down sort of like icicles, wrapped my arms and legs with those wire garlands that have the stars and snowflakes on them, added all the sparkly silver and mother-of-pearl jewelry I could find, and then painted all exposed areas a sort of icy pale blue colour. I sprayed some iridescent glitter in my hair, added a garland of mother-of-pearl flowers that I found in a craft store's wedding section, and wore blue lipstick. I rocked! I got POUNDS of candy and my mom made me throw it out because she was a super hippie who only let us trick-or-treat for the thrill.

AAAAAAAAAH, I love Halloweeeeen!

Poochie said...

Linkety link link to you!

Sadly the nickname in question is "Space Pee" and may possibly involve
1. A Space Ghost costume
2. which is WHITE!
3. My hubby
4. The comment "You've been violated!
5. A nickname that lives to this day a good 5+ years later.

Did it happen? I'll never tell.


Beth Kirby | {local milk} said...

great idea! halloween is my absolute favorite holiday. I've been a little lazy the past few years, moving from New Orleans (where Halloween is the best on earth) to TN made it lose some of it's allure. I've always wanted to be Miette from City of Lost Children but have always failed to get it together.

ps. I'm a silly lost blogger and don't know how I failed to put you on my blog roll... you stand rolled! : )

hope505 said...

Someone should definitely go out dressed as a HOUSE CENTIPEDE

* = )

mavieenrose said...

Sadly, all of my best costumes were before puberty hit, before I realized that my awesome ideas would be deflated come Halloween when the girls dressed as princesses and fairies would deride my more, um, interesting choice. My two favorites - I can't decide! - were the beyond fabulous second grade Carmen Miranda costume (yes, I went as the lady who wore fruit on her head) - and the pink satin astronaut suit from first grade, which I topped with a sparkly silver wig. I cannot, however, take credit for the best costume ever -- a giant red lobster suit worn by my trick or treat partner in the fifth grade. Anna Ticknor, wherever you are, that was AWESOME.

It's hard to believe after re-reading this comment, but life did go on beyond elementary school! Nowadays I'm often too intimidated by the Sexy Brigade to go as anything but my ultra fabulous self...though this year I may try for Velma, of Scooby Doo fame.

Katy said...

Oooh, I can't wit to do this! Can we enter more than one story?

GLC said...

I was on the tail end of recovering from a really ugly case of the chicken pox. I had stopped being contagious. I didn't feel so crappy and I lied to Mom that I didn't feel itchy at all. There still a lot of blotches across my face and my arms were covered in a mass of scabs since I'd been picking at my skin for the past two weeks.

Still I was intent on going trick-or-treating. My parents decided that after being cooped up for two weeks it would do me good to go out for a little bit.

It turned out to be a really terrible Halloween for an 8 year old girl. Everyone who opened their doors commented on the great zombie make-up I had on. They thought the open sores were very realistic special effects and the runny make up was a great touch.

Unfortunately, I was actually dressed up as a kitty.

Bekah said...

that flapper story is HILARIOUS
I'd be so embarassed, but it's good it wasn't toooo serious of an accident
I love crazy stories like that. definitely thinking of mine now!

märica said...


This one time, on Halloween, I dressed up as a camera. I took a cardboard box, painted it black, and cut a hole for my head and two for my arms. Then I stuck a small box up on top for the flash. I even covered the inside in foil and shoved a flashlight in there so I could click it on and off. Like a flash. Sexycamera.

And then this one time, on Halloween, I put dark purple gel in my hair, made my skin really pale and put on way too much eyeliner. I wore fairy wings and carried around a wand and told people I was a Fairy Gothmother. My chemistry teacher loved it.

And then this one time, on Halloween, I was a Cereal Killer. I destroyed a box of cheerios and safety pinned whatever what left to a plain white T-shirt.

This contest, by the way, is brilliant.

Anonymous said...


Anonymous said...

I never trick or treated as a child. Sucks to be me.

But this year I bought an awesome costume. It was one of those ridiculously short giraffe costumes (hey, I like giraffes) but I bought a gorgeous brown dress to go underneath instead of the hide-nothing spandex leotard, axed the miniskirt, and kept the tail and hooded corset. Now if I can just work out what the hell noises a giraffe makes...

Brigitte Plouffe said...

my story isn't very long, but oh well!

when i was 8 or 9, i wanted to dress up at Sandy from Grease. My mom then started sewing my poodle skirt, and i wore just a plain white shirt, and covered my pre-pubescent face with pounds of make up.

The only problem is, when we have halloween where i am, it gets really cold. so my mom stuffed me in my parka and snow pants, and I then became Fat Sandy from Grease for halloween.

Anonymous said...

My friends and I had the same conversation with each other and attempted the same in coming up with various oddball sexy combination's and the conversation abruptly ended when I said someone should be a 'sexy baby' for Halloween.

Anonymous said...

In college, I was the tooth fairy, complete with light blue nightgown wrapped in diaphanous netting, satin blue slippers, wand, sparkly blue lipstick. . . and a pouch of plastic teeth! My college Psych prof needed my friends and I to receive trick-or-treaters at her house since she couldn't be home. My pals were a pirate and bride of Frankenstein.

Anonymous said...

When I was 9 (9!), with all the Pretty Woman wave going around, I told my mother I wanted to go to the school costume contest dressed as a prostitute... and I did ! Black mini-skirt, pink top showing shoulders, outrageous make-up... I was glad at the moment but it is years after when I remembered it that the shame stroke back. My gosh, 9 years old and a prostitute ! Thanks mom... I can't stop laughing when I imagine the face my teacher must have done when she saw me : what a contrast with all the traditional fairies and princesses ! ;o)

Viva La Style said...

Two years ago I quite by chance found a cop outfit at Hot Topic. It was actually the first costume, after my 30 lb weight loss, I had ever bought which wasn't plus size.

I ended up buying a bitch hat at the Halloween store and pinning a fake badge to it to complete the outfit. I was very proud of fitting into it that year.

But my fav story is the one where, breaking tradition I decided to be a cheerleader instead of a witch or princess. I got the bright yellow costume from a friend of a friend of my moms. The only problem was no pom poms came with. I ended up buying two, non matching pom poms at a garage sale. Neither matched each other and neither matched the outfit.

But I was shocked I didn't win the costume contest at school.

Unknown said...

Amber from PainfullyHip mentioned you in a magazine article, how awesome!

Brande said...

Once, when I was about 7 I decided that I was too old too go trick or treating anymore (Side note: I trick-or-treated until I was 17, lol) so I didn't have my mom buy me a costume. But the second I saw my little brother all dolled up and ready to get candy I was simultaneously struck with envy and genius. I went in my room, put on my oldest, grungiest T-shirt, my most bleach-stained and torn-up sweatpants and went outside and rolled in the dirt. I was a Zombie that year. And the candy was delicious.

Anonymous said...

A few years ago my friend and I were a spoon and fork.
We asked Pizza Pizza for some boxes, cut them into the appropriate shape, covered them in tin foil and fastened them to our heads.

A woman from Spain, who had never experience Halloween here, took a picture of us at her doorstep.

A little cumbersome but so so much fun. :)

Anonymous said...

Last year I a ipod commercial. I dressed in all black and danced around with my headphones on.
My boyfriend was a box of wine...and he really poured wine out of his box.

Lauren said...

This year I'm going as Wembley from Fraggle Rock...should be an interesting costume and I can't wait to see if anyone under the age of 20 recognizes what I am!

daddylikeyblog said...

You are ABSOLUTELY REQUIRED to send pictures of your house centipede costume.

Absolutely! Send as many stories as you'd like!

Love what I'm reading so far, here and in my inbox! Keep 'em comin'!

Unknown said...

Throughout elementry school I went as a black cat. (I always lost the accessories so they were always new) Although I was once a bunny rabbit... and one year a Dementor (from Harry Potter)

In 7th grade I bought an old Edwardian wedding dress at the Salvation Army, painted my face stark white, and deemed myself a Corpse bride. The dress was so awesome and fit me so nicely I cut it up and turned it into a corset/shirt.

In 9th grade I bought a orange prom dress at the S.A. and put on black gloves, spider/bat necklace and earrings, and wore a Witch hat with a Crown. I was the Halloween Queen. (my dog wore a pink princess outfit being my the Halloween Princess)

This year I am going as a Demon. Wearing a red and black dress (this is actually an old Halloween costume) red horn clips in my hair (which is red) and my face will either be painted red or white. My dog will be wearing Black wings with red trimmings. It shall be amazing.

Ahh I love Halloween...

Anonymous said...

This year my husband is going as a Dangerous Male (Mail).

Take 2 big white pieces of cardboard like a sandwich board. Paint to look like an envelope. The stamp should show an atom bomb. The address should be to Congress. The return address should be to Ted Kazynski. Now take some suspicious white powder with you and scatter it wherever you go...

One year I dressed him as a Corporate Zombie. Zombie makeup plus suit.

For a Valloween (Halloween in February) I went as the Death of Love. I had a black and red ballgown with a heart necklace and a scythe.

ELM said...

Last year, I went as pregnant britney spears. I wore a babydoll dress, cowboyboots, a vondutch hat, aviators and carried around a frappuccino cup to pour my beer into. The belly I made from some tshirts that I tied around my waist with a garbage bag! It moved so hilariously, independently from the rest of my body and super bouncy, so whenever I would walk into a room, I would say, "It's Britney, Bitch!" and I would bounce my belly around like crazy! And then rest the beer-filled frap cup on my belly and drink from there!

Anonymous said...

2 years ago, i bought a wedding dress from a charity shop and went to a haloween party as a dead bride. i covered it in fake blood and had to get a bus to the party. haha

Rachel said...

oh, I'm so glad I'm not alone in my total hatred of/boredom with Sexy Girl Costumes. the variations of sexy -whatevers i saw during college was mind-boggling. nurse, construction worker, ladybug (ok, that was me, but i was a naive freshman), sexy spy....

moohoop, my friend veronica was karl lagerfeld on year, and it was FABULOUS. she now, of course, is one of the people on the masthead of "vogue."

this year, thanks to my haircut, i've been roped into being suri cruise.

oh yes, and i re-posted!

xo MG

Anonymous said...

Last year I had to work (very strict work place that had just been taken over by a new company that was cutting budgets and stuff left right and centre) so rather than my usually elaborate costumes I found a suit and tie and some clip in horns (not the cheap ones, real-looking horns) and introduced myself to everyone as the new owner.

I think people were shocked after they stopped laughing. I don't think management found it amusing, but what's the point of being ballsy if you chicken out half-way?

Anonymous said...

I think one of my best costumes was "Q- Tip Girl". I wore a cardboard crown with q-tips all over it, a red dress with white polka dots, and sparkly red Dorothy Gale shoes with q-tips stuck in them. I made a giant q-tip out of PVC pipe and pillow stuffing and ran around all day at school threatening people with it and throwing handfuls of q-tips at them. It was awesome.

The best part is it wasn't even for halloween- I decided to dress like that for the last day of Sophomore year.

...yeah, I was doing a lot of acid back then.

Anonymous said...

I think the best costume was my Medusa. It was a labor of love. I spent months making the headpiece: I took me almost 2 months' worth of weekends to find and buy close to 100+ plastic and rubber snakes of various shapes, sizes and colors and almost 2 weekends to put the piece together. It was worth it because I had a frightening, giant headpiece of wiggling snakes. It didn’t matter to me that I needed a neck brace to keep the weight of the piece from snapping off my head. My artist roommate painted gorgeous green scales on my jaw and down my neck and on all exposed skin. I put fangs on my teeth and had 2" fake nails (claws). I was a stunning vision of horror. I went to a friend's Halloween party, thinking I was a shoe-in to win for best costume. Then my friend L showed up as Mia Wallace from "Pulp Fiction", complete with a syringe "sticking" out of her chest. And there went 3 months of snake-y labor down the drain.

It's ok. I’m not bitter…much. I'm resurrecting the Medusa costume this year at a party whose attendees have not seen it.

Anonymous said...

Hmm...I once went as a paper bag. I tied a paper bag around myself. That was it...
This year, I think I'll go as a ShopBop model. Alls I needs is a t-shirt and an uncomfortable pose.

Krina Elizabeth Turner said...

although i am too late to enter the contest i still have some awesome costumes.

my boyfriend and i have always wanted to dress up together and before i cut my hair super short we were going to be hitler and anne frank.

this year will be the first year enjoying a joint costume and we are going to be v and evey from v for vendetta. :)

Anonymous said...

Interesting..! Dressing up for Halloween is a tradition that everyone looks forward to.

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