Thursday, December 20, 2007

An Imagined Conversation Between Myself and This Extremely Grumpy Mike & Chris Model

Me: So...that's a really nice jacket.

Model: I guess.

Me: That's a Mike & Chris, right?

Model: Yeah.

Me: Oh my gosh I'm so jealous! Are you, like, in heaven right now?

Model: No.

Me: Well, it looks fabulous on you.

Model: I know.

Me: Not to pry, but wow, much does that thing cost? Their leather jackets go for a grand a piece, so a basic cotton trench...hmm...300 bucks? 400?

Model: I don't care.

Me: Did you know that you're wearing my monthly income?

Model: Hm.

Me: Sooo...what's your favorite movie?

Model: I hate movies.

Me: I'm trying to decide between Annie Hall and Heavyweights.

Model: Dreadful.

Me: Which one?

Model: Who cares?

Me: I'm confused.

Model: Mm hmm.

Me: OK, I've gotta know--what's your deal? I mean, you're wearing a Mike & Chris jacket! I'd be pissing with joy right now if I were you. And not only that, you've got a slammin' bod, great bone structure...sure, your hair could use a hot oil treatment, but couldn't we all?

Model: I suppose.

Me: So what's your deal? Is it global warming?

Model: Actually, yeah.

Me: Awww, no tears! It'll be fine. Mike & Chris just came out with some really cute sleeveless tanks and dresses! Actually, to be honest, they're not thaaat cute. They're alright I guess. But obviously their greatest strength is still hoodies and outerwear.

Model: See? Why bother? It's all futile. Life is pointless.

Me: Oh, come on, life's never pointless when you're wearing a Mike & Chris! My life is pointless, sure, but YOU, you've got things goin' for you!

Model: Idiotic drivel. Why are you talking to me?

Me: Have you ever seen that great Woody Allen bit where he's standing next to this girl at a museum, and they're looking at a Jackson Pollock? He asks her what the painting says to her, and she goes on and on about the negativeness of the universe and how there is no God and our very existence is meaningless, and after awhile Woody says, "What are you doing Saturday night?" The girl says, "Committing suicide." So he goes, "How about Friday?"

Model: No, I haven't seen that.

Me: Oh.


Elisabeth said...

Haha, hilarious!!

shrinkykitten said...

Did you see this?

look at # 13!!

WendyB said...


daddylikeyblog said...

I was just reading that this very moment! Eeeepp! So exciting!

Unknown said...

Yeah, I never understood the reasoning behind models looking so miserable in a designer's clothing...don't you want people to think they will feel smug and happy in your clothes?

Anonymous said...


Reverse psychology is an awesome tool, I don't know if you guys know about it, but basically you can make someone think the opposite of what you believe, and that tricks them into doing something stupid. Works like a charm.

Awesome bloggeru 'Nona!

LallaLydia said...

OK so let's weigh in for a second on the whole "frowning model"'d think they wouldn't want to because of wrinkle worries but actually there may be a number of reasons for this facial contortion:
1. She is hungover, high, low, PMSing, whatever and can't get over it...(not very professional)
2. The photographer, client or stylist is telling her to do it
3. My least favorite: they should "look fierce!" and this was all she could manage.
4. Some or all of the above.

Joanna Goddard said...

heehee, hilarious. the urban outfitters models are always super salty, too.

and weirdly, annie hall is getting so much blog press this week:)

happy holidays, winona!

Anonymous said...

favorite post ouf yours. ever. absolutely hysterical.

The Spicers said...


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