Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

Well, well, well, it's finally time once again for Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey, the recurring feature in which I take a sampling of the searches that led people to this humble blog 'o mine, and respond with a pleasant mix of ridicule and advice. Or, as Queen Michelle summed it up so eloquently, I "take the Google Search Freaks and lead them to a path of righteousness..."

If you still don't get it, read this. And if you do, read on (Google searches in bold italics; my responses below).

Inadvertently Ask Daddy Likey!

how to wear a scarf like a man
Wear scarf. Leave the toilet seat up.

"devon sawa" overweight
Heeeeyyyy now! Mr. Sawa will forever live on in my mind as the toned and trim star of Little Giants.

show me all the perfumes you can buy online bitch
Do you really need to talk to Google that way? Wow. I never thought I'd find myself vehemently defending Google and Devon Sawa in two consecutive sentences.

admitting that you're not like dad
Alright, I admit it.

bio musk
I found this term so intriguing that I had to google it myself. Apparently it is a perfume term, as in "CK Obsession has topnotes of vanilla and BIO-MUSK." Umm...yuck. Doesn't it sound more like a particularly dangerous form of industrial waste?

I had my brother make this because I thought it was funny.

peed in my wedding dress
Thank you for making me feel so much better about my life.

we love daddylikey!
OMG I love you too!

his testicles
In the future, you might want to be a bit more specific in your queries. I mean, are you looking for David Beckham's or Danny DeVito's? Overgeneralizing here could end badly.


my painting was on dharma and greg
That's great! But do you really have to brag to Google? Alright, alright...who am I kidding? My last Google search was "I'm so cool."

the right underwear to wear with black dress to flatten your stomach in ireland
Oh man, do I feel your pain. Once I bought these awesome slimming underwear but they didn't work my red dress. So I bought another pair, and they did work with the red dress and I looked totally hot, but as soon as I crossed the border into Canada, they were rendered useless. See, underwear is like currency. You've got to be sure to exchange it at the airport.

Your American Spanx are no good here.

what size does my boyfriend where in jcrew
Medium?

And finally, the fourth, sixth, and eighth most popular search terms, respectively:

i want to be on inadvertently ask daddy likey!
Wish. Granted.

winona is this going to end up on inadvertently ask daddy likey?
Heck yeah it is!

inadvertently asking daddy likey
Hmm...seems pretty advertent to me.

God I love you guys.