Tuesday, February 09, 2010

Tuesday Top 5: Things That Hurt Less Than Breaking in a Pair of Dr. Martens Boots

My boyfriend Nick and my brother Devin recently bought some awesome Dr. Martens boots. They love their new purchases and they look great, despite the fact that they are both currently hobbling around on bloody stumps that used to be their feet.

Because apparently breaking in Dr. Martens is serious business. Really serious. Like, rent-a-wheelchair-in-advance serious.

It looks so innocent.

The woman at the store warned us about the breaking-in process in an ominous Ian McKellen voice, but I don't think the guys took her seriously. So, in order to save other potential victims from the same fate, I've compiled this list of experiences that are less painful than breaking in your new pair of Docs:

  • Getting run over by a Mini Cooper.
  • Eating glass.
  • Rewatching a beloved childhood movie and being like, "Oh, this sucks now."
  • Child birth.
Feel free to add to my list!

And godspeed to you, Devin, Nick, and any other new Dr. Martens owners. Someday we'll develop the technology to let you walk again.

43 comments:

Katy said...

This is my favorite blog post ever. Still laughing!!

Apocalypstick said...

Please advice Nick and Devin that the key to breaking in your Docs is BLACK TIGHTS. Boys are dumb.

Leia said...

Haha, oh dear! I'm glad I never bought a pair of Docs!

Shane said...

LOL! I would add "bikini wax" and "SAT prep courses" to the list.

futurelint said...

I have a pair of Dr Marten boots that I've had for 3 years and they still aren't broken in because I don't wear them more than a few times a year (due in part to the pain and partially because I can't wear floral combat boots every day). Also, next time my mom gets all "When are you getting married and having babies?" I can tell her I've decided to break in a new pair of shoes instead!

Claire said...

Seriously?

What a pair of wusses! Mine caused me maybe a blister, maybe two, but nothing worse than that..

KJ said...

But it's so worth it! I spent one agonizing day breaking in my Doc Martens 13 years ago and they're still going strong. (The key for getting the breaking-in over in one day was a 6 mile walk... which I don't actually recommend.)

Rachel said...

Really? I have never had a problem breaking in DMs (although maybe the girly DMs aren't as tough).

Ballet slippers on the other hand tear my feet to ribbons :(

twopercent said...

This happened to me when I was breaking in my new Frye riding boots. I was SO pleased and SO excited for my new purchase and then SO much in pain that I couldn't walk for a month. But now, luckily, all the pain is over and I wear my boots every day. No pain, no gain, you know.

Jillian said...

This is where I get to feel smug, because my Docs are vintage and therefore already broken in.

Sal said...

Ahh, yes. I remember breaking in my high school pair and wondering if I'd ever walk again ...

Emptypowered said...

I had someone tell me the best way to break in your new docs is slowly reverse over them in your car?!

I doubt I'd want to take the risk though.

Also, things less painful:
The bit when Bambi's mother dies
Being punched in the face
Walking into a door (while drunk)
Kick to the crotch

Rosie Unknown said...

And to think I've been planning on buying a pair! Still, I think the pain is like a trial: you have to prove you are badass and tough enough to wear them.

InnyVinny said...

Depending on how high they are, it might help a little if they lace them all the way up and tie them tightly. It breaks the top a bit faster.

I'll add...slamming your finger in a car door.

urbanEwarrior said...

I love how ridiculously apt this post is! I was taking a twenty minute walk with a friend about a week into my new Docs (wearing them on/off when I could bear it) - and he had to carry me home!!

I always assumed it was related to some deficiency on MY part, glad to know I was mistaken :)

AlfalfaAnne said...

I re-watched "The Last Unicorn" and was devastated. I still bought the DVD though. ;)

I would also include being crushed by a manatee on the list.

Erin said...

3 cheers for my vintage docs!!

WendyB said...

I just don't play that game with shoes.

Mishabelle said...

Awe, I got a pair of Docs at the thrift store, and someone else broke them in... too bad that person's feet are shaped absolutely nothing like mine! It's so painful to wear them! I'm glad I'm not alone.
But things better than wearing them? Hm, dropping a bowling ball on your foot, going to the dentist, that high-pitched squeal you can hear at the beginning of Nirvana's Son of a Gun (seriously makes me want to gouge my ears off)... I could go on!

Angela said...

Doc Mary Janes must be more flexible. I didn't have any problems breaking them in.

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Thanks!

chiara said...

Sadly, I have to agree on all this, plus the bikini was mentioned by Shane...
I have had a pair for 3 years, and cannot yet say they are broken it!

Will try the black tights, tho!

aquirkydelight said...

I remember breaking in a pair of Doc Martens my freshman year of highschool. I think it took about 6 weeks, and I would regularly hear things like, "hey, is that blood on your sock?" Yes. Yes, it was.

Wolfe Family said...

Men are such wimps. they would never survive Pumps, PMS or Pregnancies (A lot of alliterations from anxious amateurs)

ashley.readings said...

i have two pairs.

one pair is almost ten years old and the other is about six years old.

i wear one pair almost exclusively undone up and that pair is broken in to perfection (the 10 year pair) The other pair i've done up to the top and they have taken much longer.

i say wear thick socks and leave them open.

Joanne said...

When I was 16 I had a pair of shimmery purple Docs for Christmas. They were beautiful. I wore them every day for 2 years and I'm pretty sure they broke my feet in, not the other way around. Anyway, 5 years after I stopped wearing them regularly and I still have the major calluses they gave me.

Sher said...

So men go through pain for fashion too.....nice to know....

Mabel and Zora said...

I'd rather stapel my toung to the counter than break in Doc's.

Jessica said...

Oh god, this is so true. I own a gorgeous pink pair and I've only managed to wear them a handful of times for exactly this reason.

-h said...

"Rewatching a beloved childhood movie and being like, "Oh, this sucks now." "
LOL!!!! reason why i won't re-watch red sonya

Apocalypstick said...

I have these http://www.dmusastore.com/p-2822-darcie.aspx which I also forced WaxWendy to purchase (she got two pairs) and I think I speak for both of us when I say: NO BLISTERS.
But total awesomeness on our feet. But seriously, black tights work like magic. You need something to break them in, but not too much

closet365 said...

RIGHT?!?!

I just bought a pair off of Ebay and they were semi-broken in for me but still left some nasty blisters.I did not remember that part from my teen years.

I guess that's something that hurts slightly less - adolescence.

Lovers, Saints and Sailors said...

I found mine in a thrift store 10 years ago but they'd only be worn once. I honestly don't remember them hurting at all.

I still wear them all the time and any pain they may inflict is totally worth the amount of win you feel when strutting down the street in a pair of 10 hole Doc Martens.

Hang in there boys!

lopi said...

So true. My story is one of utter failure. Meaning, I got a pair of Docs during a family trip in Paris when I was 13. You can just imagine my enthusiasm. Well, I'm embarrassed to admit I actually wore them three of four times and gave up. Yes, I GAVE UP. Even thinking about it now, 13 years later, makes me feel bad. Hell, I should probably dig them up from the attic and give myself a second chance. Thanks Winona for reminding me!

Karenina said...

Yoikes. They must have changed something...or my ex-figure skater feet of steel always saved me. I never had problems with Docs, and still have a couple of my old pairs. Don't give up on them! They will last far longer than most marriages! ;-)

Lindsey said...

I propose causing said Docs as much pain as they cause you! Chuck a teatowel or something over the hurty-bits (it's the heel of my blue patent Docs) and smash the crap out of them with a hammer. It will soften the leather - doing all the work that your bloodied stump would otherwise. I do it with all my new shoes. :)

http://lindseysmostcompelling.tumblr.com/

Anonymous said...

Really? I've only ever owned one pair of Docs, and breaking them in wasn't any pain at all. Now it's sandals, any and all sandals, that leave my feet looking like something out of a B-rated horror flick.

Xox,
Sarz

Jennifer le Roux said...

one word people..MOLESKIN....

nico said...

it was a happy day when my friend stacy gave me a pair of docs she found op-shopping. already broken in. wonderful!

Robin said...

ok.. seriously? I had a pair with 10 years worth of miles that I gave up in 2007 on the belief that they wouldn't be back in style. And now they're back? Figures.

I broke mine in by doing a lot of walking in the rain. Softens the leater. Wear wool socks while you're doing it, they have magical wicking powers.

Mat said...

i had no pain at all, comfiest shoes ever had, still 3 years down the road.

Anonymous said...

I've had a couple of pairs of Docs, and they never hurt. And I have the most exquisitely sensitive feet known to man, I drive shoe salespeople nuts trying to find a comfortable pair.

Anonymous said...

I bought a gorgeous pair of vintage floral Docs in pristine condition and for their first outing, they accompanied me to a gig where I was walking around for 2 hrs before hand and standing for another 4. Halfway through the set, I was seriously contemplating going home because I couldn't handle agony.

Haven't worn them since :( I should totes sell them on ebay.

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