Friday, July 25, 2008

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, Volume XIII

Ah, nothing brightens up a tough week like a long overdue edition of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha! (Well, 60 affirming comments from my amazing readers helps too--thanks again!)

So let's get right to it, shall we?
(Amazing new readers can click here for the storied origins of DSYC.)

First off, Elena sums up this picture with a sentence that may become this feature's new slogan:

Either this girl is missing some necessary female anatomy or it's just simply scandalous.

Reader Rachel spotted this lil' (literally) number while browsing the Betsey Johnson website:

She says: There is NO WAY anyone could wear that thing as a dress without something underneath. The model is doing a lovely crossed-leg pose, of course. I'm actually a little disappointed in Betsey Johnson for this- I feel like her dresses are normally just the right kind of short.

From Kat, an extremely chic yet still chocharific outfit:

I found this quite amusing...the model obviously doesn't though.

Princess Poochie came across some classy high fashion chocha from the Sartorialist:

At least homegirl is ownin' it.

This model, on the other hand, is not ownin' it:

As Claudia points out: Lucky for the model, she didn't have to show her face!

Danger, Gossip Girl! Danger!

Says Nicole: Stuffing her hand in that abnormally huge pocket to give some coverage. Nice move, Leighton.

The brave Abbey takes on Aggy for this egregious Chocha offense:

What is there to say? That is quite obviously a shirt, and her seemingly jaunty pose is cleverly designed to prevent inevitable chocha exposure. I know everyone thinks Agyness Deyn can do no wrong, but seriously, she needs to wear something that provides more adequate coverage of the lady bits.

Josefina calls this a "Whoops! Too late!" edition:

Yeeeepp, I'd have to agree there.

Sophie says: Here are some DSYC sightings from, you guessed it, ShopBop:

Nice subtle-hem-pull-down, girlfriend! Almost had us fooled that you're feeling comfortable and covered. Almost. Actually, not at all.

And finally, Gwyneth Paltrow seems to have been a bit confused during the Iron Man promotional circuit and thought she was promoting a different film called Exposed Woman, because sweet jesus did her chocha get a lot of air (and I don't mean airtime, I mean actual air) these past couple months. I got quite a few emails on the topic, so I'm going to post the photos and the fantastic reader comments in one cluster for maximum enjoyment:

Here she is a a premiere, in a fantastic dress that is actually a fairly short shirt:

Jayca: Oh boy. Or should I say, "Damn, girl!" I found this on Perez Hilton (I'm so sorry, brain cells), and had to alert the DSYC police. One almost wants leggings - even on the gracious on Ms. Paltrow - at this point. Actually, this may not even qualify in the "Don't" part of this feature (I'm so sorry, eyeballs).


Tara: You can actually see the curve of her ass check through the angle of the dress. This epidemic really needs to be stopped.

Next she did a spread in Harper's Bazaar where she forgot a lot of the components of an outfit:

(The text reads: "I don't want to look like a mother who doesn't care.")

Sara: I don't want to look like a mom who doesn't care that she is showing her baby maker!

Paula: If she rotated six inches this would be a whole different kind of magazine.

Eritia: Gwenyth Paltrow on July's Harper's Bazaar cover would definitely be pulled over by my hawkeye vice principal and made to change into gym shorts if she attended my high school. To quote my history teacher: "If I can see butt cheek, then it's time for some longer skirts ladies."

Amen, Eritia's history teacher, amen.

At the risk of sounding uncouth, there's a lot more chocha where that came from, so expect another volume of these risque gems fairly soon. And keep sending me your finds--they're getting better and better!


Anonymous said...

LOL! I love me some chocha! hmm, that came out wrong :/

Jen said...

I am going to go ahead and forgive Agyness, because she really *can* do no wrong...

...and I am truly, madly, deeply in love with her.

P.S. Aggy, let's go get married, I'll let you wander around in over-sized tees whenever you please!

franki durbin said...

Shopbop is one of the worst offenders... quickly followed by BlueFly

I don't mind it in editorial fashion so much (after's editorial and fantastical), but when I see it online with a "click to buy this look" button nearby I'm left shaking my head.

jillian said...

the most recent project runway episode could be a DSYC all by itself. you should look into that :)

thefashionhead said...

oh man i second the project runway comment - some of the dresses from this week's episode i wouldn't even feel comfortable wearing as SHIRTS! serious lack of fabric...

WendyB said...

"If she rotated six inches this would be a whole different kind of magazine."


Anonymous said...

The chick with the beret is my favorite. Trying to distract us from her nearly-exposed chocha with that long, dangly bow-like thing. We are not fooled.

Rachel said...

Oh god, this week's Project Runway deserves a special edition of DSYC! What do you say, Winona? Don't Show-cha Your Chocha: The Project Runway Edition. What happens when you send models to buy fabric and they don't realize how much is necessary to cover them!

soilikethelike said...

i think that first model simply went out without any pants

i'm in shock.
& all for the project runway edition!

Anonymous said...

those dresses are a bitttt short..but they are really cute. i just bought this cute dress that ive been wearing with my new pearl necklace from have a great collection of pearls!

Anonymous said...

hey winona, only in Carnaval back home have I ever seen more chocha exposure! haha I guess that's the only time a girl can get away with these looks... btw, thanks for making me laugh so hard I almost spit out my coffee! Nice way to end a long, stressful week at the office! :-)

Anonymous said...

Thought of you yesterday when I opened an old version of Lucky and found an interview with a West Coast interior designer. Her quote about spring fashion was "in this business, I need to be taken seriously, so I am careful about looking polished and professional."

This quote was imposed over a total DSYC picture, complete with the awkward leg-cross. Hilarious!

Masters in the Czech said...

I realized when I was reading this post that I get a fashion show of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha clothing everytime I go out! Girls seriously wear these things on a regular basis!

Mandy said...

Did you see Project Runway this week? I swear the fashion show was a parade of DSYC. I wanted to quietly pull the models aside and tell them to be very very careful so they don't expose themselves to a national audience.

And I've been meaning to comment about the whole NY Times thing. You and the BF looked FAB. It was a great article. Ignore all the haters. It's sad that they really don't have anything better to worry about than two young people who are way cooler than they ever were. :)

Lisa said...

*sigh* I thought Leighton and Gwyneth would've shown better judgement.

Teresa said...

Goodness these are just like wearing glorified napkins

sophia said...

I keep trying to figure out how that first one even works. I mean, there's no way that they didn't have to photoshop her chocha out of the picture, right? It makes no sense to me.

sophia said...

(By the by, the "Amazing new readers can click here" link just leads to a page where blogger yells at me to log in. Even though I already was. Also, then it logged me out. This is all very distressing.)

Scott Nichols said...

omg, this is why i love winona. you are funny funny funny.

the assistant said...

that is hilarous i can not believe gwyneth

TMinx said...

Woweee, I thought it was all a hoax! The first outfit is especially appaling.

Kate @ Tres Lola said...

Haha love it, you are too funny. I'm actually wearing a black "dress" as a top over jeans today... its rather shocking to know that there are girls out there running around with their butt cheeks hanging out from under what I consider one of my favourite tops.

Michelle said...

Despite the danger of chocha flashing, I think the Sartorialist girl actually look quite good. Am I wrong?

shrinkykitten said...

I was going to suggest project runway too -the last epi was an homage to the chocha. And f you go to project rungay ( you can see Heidi Klum's reaction to Nina Garcia saying, "I think tight, shiny, and short is the quickest way to look cheap."

Stephanie said...

This is my favorite feature ever, it totally makes my day. (And makes me more careful about my dress lengths XD)

Poochie said...

I built a 3 panel mirror just be sure I don't show-cha my chocha at work. It can be so hard to tell at times! If I had a stylist though, I'd expect them to tell me. That's part of what I'm paying them for, right?

Luv ya!

Anonymous said...

is it just me or is DSYC girl #2 missing the tip of her right thumb? maybe she's living dangerously in the dress department to distract us from her misplaced digit?

Bekah said...

I just got back from a week away in the middle of no where and a bit of horrible chochal disasters is JUST what I needed!
that sounds terrible, but you know what I mean...I hope.

Always In Style said...

That's too much info from Gwenyth...and I'm getting a little sick and tired of designers offering cute dresses that barely cover the hoo-ha.

Vancouverista said...

The 'model' in the first picture looks eerily like Terri Hatcher...

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