Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Five Men's MEN'S FASHION First Impressions

As the title so confusingly suggests, today I decided to add a supreme twist to that old favorite, Five Men's Fashion First Impressions, and get the men's impression of a men's fashion item (this is blowing your mind, right?).

Behold, the "Tight Sag" by Soulful Commandoe:

Rachael from It Was Funny In My Head sent me this picture along with the following email: "OK...I blogged a bit about these things a while back, but can't stop thinking about the horror. Are they serious?? WTF are they supposed to be? Are they a joke? Thoughts from your guys?? (Would Robert Downey Jr. Junior wear them??)"

Here are the thoughts from the guys (and an answer from Robert Downey Jr. Junior):

Brother, age 13: They remind me of those Ocean Spray commercials- what those guys in the cranberry fields would wear, except they are too badass for cranberry farmers. I know! They're what punk cranberry farmers would wear!

Father: Patently stupid. It seems like you could have a few bricks in your pants and nobody would ever know it.

Boyfriend: Uuuhhhhh...One of the uglier things I've ever seen. It also reminds me of, you know when girls get the double boob? When their bra is too tight? This is like, double butt.

Brother, age 21: They combined all the worst features of really trashy men's jeans with all the worst features of really trashy women's jeans and added suspenders to the whole mess. Pretty awful.

Brother, age 18 (aka Robert Downey Jr. Junior): Umm...(laughs)...First impression--it looks like something a hip Daniel Plainview would wear.
Me: Who's Daniel Plainview?
Brother, age 18: Psh! Daniel Day Lewis' character in There Will Be Blood.
Me: Aha. Well, would you wear them?
Brother, age 18: I'd wear them if I was wading in a swamp.

See more pictures of these crazy-ass (literally) pants here.

Want the opinion of a few good men? Send me a picture and I'll make it happen!


WendyB said...

I like having men comment on men's fashions.

Unknown said...

haha, I totally want to meet your thirteen year old brother! That was my first impression too.

It's what aging punks in the dawn of their Depends dependence wear.

Bekah said...

hahaah badass cranberry farmers with double butt...nice
I love the five men.
and those pants are atrocious
they're like bootylicious(the first butt-panel) mixed with hood (the second sagging butt panel) mixed with fifteen-year-old wannabe scenester who hasn't realized that he doesn't have to wear girl's jeans for his jeans to be tight (the leg bit)

Lily said...

The only times I ever seen anybody wearing pants like this in Reality it has been on Japanese girls -- and it totally blew my mind the first time I spied a pair.

Laura said...

Wow, the front view is even worse than the back!

Anonymous said...

Those things are nothing short of heinous.

Anonymous said...

Huh. So maybe the target market here is the dudes in my neighborhood who wear their jean waistbands BELOW their entire butts, leaving 8 inches of boxer exposed. Perhaps this designer wants them to have the oh-so-comfortable and convenient-for-walking style of saggy pants, with the added bonus of non-boxer-exposing modesty. Doesn't really explain the suspenders or ankle taper, tho.

13-year-old bro must be right: these are for cranberry bog use only.

Anonymous said...

Daniel Plainview, hell yes.

TheSundayBest said...

So wonderfully good. The comments, not the pants. The pants are...

well really, there's not much to say is there? They're crap.

Anonymous said...

my impression on those pants is
that its a weird mutation of gangsta baggy pants with their bums hanging out and emo skinny jans... Ya' know, you cant have your cake and eat it too!

Wonderful post as always Winona!!

ninaribena said...

Mc Hammer "You Can't Touch This".... seriously DONT . TOUCH . THIS . There can be no reason to touch this.

And: front view = Oompa Loompa

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