I have an unusual work situation. I am a funeral director, which means my work wardrobe is pretty limited to mostly black and depressingly conservative. Unfortunately, I have a penchant for shoes. Colorful shoes, high heeled shoes, flats, boots, I just love fun shoes. My work shoes however, need to get me through a day that may include embalming, tromping through cemeteries, and removals of the deceased from hospitals (there is something a little empowering about seeing the security guard's eyes go wide as you lift a very heavy man onto a cot in heels without flinching).
ARE there shoes that can survive a mortuary life? Or will I be doomed to sensible shoes in stark black for the rest of my career? Help!
Sincerely yours,
Funeral Fashionista
Dearest Funeral Fashionista,
First of all, I have to say that this was one of my favorite Dear Daddy Likey inquiries I've ever received. I'd never really thought about the merits of looking sassy while lifting a dead man, but now that you mention it, I totally agree: fun shoes are a must!
I can't really explain why, but my first instinct was to direct you to Fluevog, because the styles are undeniably fun, they're good quality, and look super comfy. Beautiful blogger Sally often sings the praises of Fluevog and look how fabulous she looks:
Ready to tromp through a cemetary! (Sal, you should definitely take that as a compliment.)Unfortunately, I have never actually worn this brand myself, so I decided to interrogate my friend Sarah, an avowed Fluevog Fan, and see if she could vouch for their comfiness. Our IM conversation is as follows:
Me: Sarah!
Sarah: winona!!
Sarah: it has been forever
Me: I know!
Sarah: i was just advertising your blog to all of my friends!
Me: Did I really interrupt you in the process of blog promotion?? GET BACK TO DOING THAT
Sarah: hahaha no im slightly exaggerating, i was shamelessly advertising yesterday
Me: ok, well good work! i have a question for you
Sarah: yes?
Me: you are a fan of john fluevog shoes, right?
Sarah: oh yes!
Me: how many pair do you have?
Sarah: oh jeez! i dont even know. i have...at least four. my favorites of course are the lime green boots
Me: oh yeah those are SO cute!
Sarah: and they have hearts for heels! i was walking around in the snow making little heart prints
Me: so, are these shoes comfortable?
Sarah: yes definitely
Sarah: well, compared to other fancyflashyfashiony shoes anyway
Sarah: i mean not compared to like loafers or whatever
Me: lol of course
Sarah: but they're pretty squishy and they dont pinch or rub me at all, and they tend to have good toes, not too pointy
Sarah: and good solid heels, not too thin, which is why i can walk in them haha
Me: so i'm gonna list a few situations where you might wear your fluevogs. could you please answer yes or no to indicate if they would be a comfortable shoe choice for the situation?
Sarah: sure
Me: 1. a day of shopping with your lovely sister
Sarah: of course!
Me: 2. waiting tables
Sarah: hm. I'd go with probably not
Me: Interesting. OK, what about moving a corpse?
Sarah: i guess that depends how far you're moving it, but most likely comfortable
Me: lol Sarah this is why i love you.
Me: you don't even miss a beat when i ask if a shoe would be comfortable for moving a corpse
There you have it, folks: Proof that Fluevogs would be comfortable corpse-moving footwear, and that my friends should probably work on being more suspicious.
Here are some specific sassy shoe suggestions. I went for closed toe, not-too-high heels and fun details:
Look up "sassy" in the dictionary and you'd probably find a picture of these. Add them to a somber black ensemble and watch every security guards' eyes widen within a mile radius.
"Helen," $109, here
These are a little spendier, but come on! They look like little bat shoes! Totally goth sexy.
"Lady Ophelia," $179, here
How gorgeous would these boots be with some dark lace tights?
Love the color and bouncy-looking heel.
"Lover," $255, here
These are pretty amazing too. And be sure to check out ebay if you like the shoes but not the price!
Any suggestions from the audience for comfy, cute mortician-approved shoes?
36 comments:
You go lift those corpses, girl! And be fabulous while doing it! Mama said you never know when you're gonna meet the man of your dreams, so better be prepared.
Personal comfy-yet-sassy shoe preference: Chie Mihara.
Like Fluevog, but cuter and less quirky. Love them!
I really don't know how a mortician can't go with Fluevog for her fancy footwears...
You have like the most random set of readers ;D
I mean not that long ago there was a question from somebody who works for the FBI.
Oh HELLS YES, Fluevogs are the ideal choice for our lovely Funeral Fashionista. Most styles have rubber soles and very walkable heels - including the supercomfy Giulia style I'm wearing in that photo. (Thanks for the mention, Winona!! You made my day, lady.)
My Fluevog shoe pimp will kill me for saying this, but be sure to check 6pm.com, Zappos, Endless, and Amazon for Fluevogs, too. Depending on what kind of sales fluevog.com is running, you might get better deals elsewhere.
OK, seriously, WHY isn't this company paying me in free shoes? I've outfitted more strangers in Fluevs than most of their salespeople ...
I don't have any good corpse-lifting shoes. I guess I will have to try to avoid corpses.
I don't even own any Fluevogs yet (they don't come in my size *pout*)and I would still say they look good.
I would also say Aerosoles but you have to be picky and find a nice style. I have 2 thet are stylish and so comfy I wear them all the time - http://shoedaydreams.blogspot.com/2008/12/ensemble-du-jour_27.html
Also find the shoes that have the best last match for your foot. For me it is Nine West and Manolos. I could wear those all day and walk for miles... and I have.
Luv
Poochie
EEP! They're all Fluevogs! *loves!!*
The first shoes are gorgeous!
juliet xxx
I'm going to second Poochie's comment -- the last made for your foot is important.
I love my Fluevogs, but they are not as comfortable *on me* as brands that fit my foot better (Chie Mihara, Cydwoq, Manolos, Nine West). They're not uncomfortable, but they are narrower in the toe and higher in the arch than shoes that are super-comfy *on me*.
Some of my friends, however, can walk all day in them and be perfectly foot-happy.
Yayy I love you, Winona!
From personal experience: that heel is DEFINITELY bouncy. I was totally, like, bouncing all around campus and church and the mall this weekend in them. bouncebouncebounce.
...not too bouncy for corpse-lifting, though, of course...
Good timing Winona! Sarah has finally worn me down and I now have 3 pairs of fluevogs waiting in the queue for the next time I sell something.
Hmm, I own 4 pairs of Fluevogs... maybe it's time I rethink my career choice.
It's always nice to see a Vancouver-based shoe designer get so much love from the blogosphere.
You just gained 1,000,000 cool points in my book for recommending Fluevogs! If I won the lottery you can rest assured that my very first purchase would be a pair of Fluevog boots. I love the olive green color of the ones you posted.
Hmm.. I guess I'm the only person who finds those shoes (and the heels on them particularly) unbelievably hideous. Oh well, guess I can never get a real job as a corpse-mover.
you know, i'm usually violently anti-wooden-heel. i think it's the fault of those pointy heels with wood platforms that were EVERYWHERE two fall seasons ago, remember? UGH. so tacky.
but...that first pair is so totally fantastic, and i think it's that the wood is almost more woodgrain than wood, you know? it's sort of making fun of its own woodiness. hey, even old fashion grumps can learn new tricks.
Lmao! Gotta love someone who can answer that shoes are appropriate for corpse moving without missing a beat. <3
Mmm, warm and stylish...
PS I have awarded your fabulousness, drop by my blog to pick it up! x
the first are cute, the rest are fugly as anything..we all know Cole Haan and Chie Mihara have more stylish and comfortable shoes.
:)
i bought these shoes from wanted because of the rave reviews about their comfort: http://www.piperlime.com/browse/product.do?cid=4016&pid=624096&scid=624096012
they are absolutely the most comfortable shoes i've ever had- i could walk a mile in them! they're super sassy with the color, scroll trim, and hexagon heel.
these are all absolutely horrendous. if i saw someone wearing them i would feel only sadness and pity.
Audi--
Yes, I think this is a sign that you need to get into the funeral home business!
Anon 12:06--
It took me awhile to come around to the heels on these, but now I really like them and I thought they were perfectly quirky and comfy for a day of moving bodies!
Jessi--
Yeah, Sarah is great!
pretty face--
Thank you so much for the award, my love!
Katie--
Thanks for the suggestion! They're super cute.
Anon 9:04--
But would you still feel sadness and pity after you saw the little heart prints the heels make in the snow? Those could melt even the coldest anonymous heart! :)
Anonymous 9:04-- Totally agreed. My biology teacher actually has a pair of shoes with heels JUST like the last pair of boots, and we all pitied her behind her back when she first wore them to class. Just sayin.
Def my fav Daddy Likey question too!!!
Argh! Here I was on a shoe-diet and you go and blog about these awesome super enticing cool shoes.
Must resist. Must resist.
Whoa, What an original enquiry. Those last 'bouncy looking heels' actually kind of scare me. Lol.
BTW I just saw some american TV show last night "Style by Jury" or something like that, and they made over a funeral director! Your advice was very similar. Good work =)
those shoes look so cartoony and fun! I'm sure with those bouncy ones I'd do little impressions of walking on the moon for at least the first week of wearing them, much to my friends' and peers' annoyance.
OMG! they make a size 10 1/2! I LOVE you!
this might be the most hilarious/morbid thing i've ever read!!
great post!!
xo L
I've always been fascinated with Fluevog too...except have never worn their shoes....
It's always nice to see a Vancouver-based shoe designer get so much love from the blogosphere.
cute shoes!!!
btw is it weird that the same comment was made twice? and on a separate rant, I hate the word blogosphere :(
Those violet ones are very cute! The other two are a bit too quirky for me, but I really like the chain detail on that first one.
Very beautiful red skirt. I love it.
Okay, so this is a really old post, but I was looking at the fluevog site and saw these. They don't look terribly comfortable but they are amazing!I mean, they're actually called "Body Parts", how could a funeral director NOT buy them?
http://www.fluevog.com/code/?w=attribute%3ASpecialty&pp=1&view=detail&p=1&colourID=2593
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