Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Guest Post: Portrait of the President as a Young Man

Unfortunately I'm still completely swamped with deadlines so I'm going to continue the theme of having my funny friends fill in for me. Today's amazing post is from the amazing Sarah of the amazing blog Yes and Yes ("amazing" is sort of her life theme), and it happens to be perfect for today's festivities. I hope you enjoy!

Take it away, Sarah:

So we all have a bit of a crush on The Prez, right? The charm! The humor! The large, dewy eyes! For the first time in my life, I can actually imagine what the leader of my country was like at my age. Honestly, I suspect he would have been quite comfortable at my ridiculously liberal college, which was stuffed to the gills with hippie intellectuals, unshaven ladies and male homecoming queens.

Please allow me to take you on a polyvore tour through the college years of our new leaders. Note: while the outfits portrayed are not necessarily decade appropriate, the facts are. Or at least as accurate as any information fed to me by the interwebz.

jill biden
jill biden by hovercraft

Jill Biden
Growing up in New Jersey, Jill Jacobs couldn't understand why her family lingered over brunch every Sunday while all her friends were learning about Zacchaeus and that tree of his. In an attempt to rectify this, she spends every Wednesday of her ninth grade year taking classes to become the best Presbyterian she could be. At the University of Delaware, Jill is the hottest English major on campus. So hot, in fact, that she takes a year off to model. Her face decorateds billboards throughout the city and eventually attract the affections of one very cute football player named Joe.

joe biden
joe biden by hovercraft

Joe Biden
Halfback Joe is a competition-level crammer, impressing classmates with his marathon study sessions. He has a bit more time for classes sophomore year when he drops football to spend more time with his lady love. A five-time recipient of student draft deferments, the handsome law student is, by his own admission, "more sports coat that tie dye." The Law school's mock courtrooms unnerve Joe and bring out his stutter. In an attempt to overcome this, he recites poetry into the mirror every morning as he shaves.
michelle obama
michelle obama by hovercraft

Michelle Obama
Princeton is a long way from Michelle's SouthSide Chicago home. On her first day in New Jersey, her roommate's mother requests that her daughter be moved to a different room. The roommate is from Georgia and "not used to living with black people." In spite of this, the girls are friendly while living together. Ever the fashion plate, Michelle is not the type to attend lecture in sweatpants. She even models in several charity fashion shows. Her friends believe she is the tallest woman they know. Michelle spends her senior year listening to Stevie Wonder albums and writing her thesis 'Princeton-Educated Blacks and the Black Community.'

obama by hovercraft

Barack Obama
The closet in Barack's tiny sixth floor walk-up is stuffed with used leather jackets and $5 military surplus khakis. He does, however, splash out on a pair of decent running shoes for the three miles he runs every morning, as the sun rises over the city. After class, Barack and his roommate putter around the apartment, making curry and listening to Dylan. The roommate talks business and money, Barack talks people and support. This bleeding heart, and a rather flashy Fiat, impress the ladies. The roommate reconsiders his angle.

Would you befriend these guys if they'd been sitting next to you in Freshman Comp?


Anonymous said...

Such fun. And I can only wish that Michelle or Barack had suffered through Freshman comp with me!

WendyB said...

The only people I befriended in college were drag queens I met downtown.

Anonymous said...

Sarah, your Polyvore sets are my favorite posts! Love that Mrs. O's style!

Lisa said...

You have no idea how much I enjoyed this post! :)

Tricia said...

best polyvore i've seen yet! i always sat with the stoner boys freshman year.

pretty said...

Yes, totally agreeing with you on the President crush. Part of the allure may be the power, but student Barack still sounds pretty sexy...

Darcie said...

dude, pretty much spot on with the barack polyvore...have you seen this?

Obama: The College Years

Belle de Ville said...

This post was extremely well done.

Marmalade Wombat said...

amazing post. really entertaining and so vivid. i forgot everything in my life while i read this. will you be writing a screenplay for a tv serial?

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