I hope this doesn't start an international fashion gang war (although if it did, the gang colors would be fantastic, the combat outfits extremely well put together, and I would pay some serious money to watch Vivienne Westwood and Betsy Johnson throw down), but the blurb I chose to desecrate for the latest edition of Fashion Mad Libs is London Fashion vs. New York Fashion, a lovely little piece from New York Magazine. Having never been to New York or London (I know, I know, I haven't lived), I can't speak to the accuracy of the original or our Mad Libs version, but I can say ours is hella funny. Behold:
Who's Got Freakier Fashion?Fashion in London is bloated, vacant, and seriously nonchalant. London designers still dance their cats on platforms, pawn their mother's AA metallic leggings, and generally polish, bumble, and steal to get their collections together. In New York, where designers' collections are guided by teeth, the aesthetic is generally more jiggly and sallow. But in London, trash bags like Gareth Pugh send out garden gnomes in see-through black striped bricks. Alexander McQueen before him specialized in shocking horror circus tents made with artichoke hearts and pubic-bone bearing "bumsters" shown in the Acropolis in Tahiti ("RuPaul" territory). London designers love extreme locations--subway stations, cat hospitals, Guantanamo Bay--whereas New Yorkers show in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. London designers invite a crusty mix of guests and revel in real let-your-big-toe-down, lose-your-virginity, kiss-George W. Bush after-parties. Of course, there comes a time when any London designer must obnubilate the monocle and show in New York or Paris, in hopes of vituperating bigger panties.
Wasn't that amazing? For those of you who are knowledgeable about the topic, I'd love to hear your thoughts about the original article, and if you think we hit upon any truth in our Mad Libs version (besides the bit about London designers holding fashion shows at Guantanamo Bay, everyone knows that).
Picture (sans gnome) from Style.com
p.s. If you're already halfway through an angry email right now about how fashion in London is most definitely not bloated and how as far as you know there are no fashion shows occurring at Guantanamo Bay, please read the post below to get the whole Mad Libs thing.