Sunday, April 08, 2007

Fashion Mad Libs: Gareth Pugh is a Trash Bag, Exploits Garden Gnomes

From left: Designer Gareth Pugh, Garden Gnome, Model

I hope this doesn't start an international fashion gang war (although if it did, the gang colors would be fantastic, the combat outfits extremely well put together, and I would pay some serious money to watch Vivienne Westwood and Betsy Johnson throw down), but the blurb I chose to desecrate for the latest edition of Fashion Mad Libs is London Fashion vs. New York Fashion, a lovely little piece from New York Magazine. Having never been to New York or London (I know, I know, I haven't lived), I can't speak to the accuracy of the original or our Mad Libs version, but I can say ours is hella funny. Behold:

Who's Got Freakier Fashion?
Fashion in London is bloated, vacant, and seriously nonchalant. London designers still dance their cats on platforms, pawn their mother's AA metallic leggings, and generally polish, bumble, and steal to get their collections together. In New York, where designers' collections are guided by teeth, the aesthetic is generally more jiggly and sallow. But in London, trash bags like Gareth Pugh send out garden gnomes in see-through black striped bricks. Alexander McQueen before him specialized in shocking horror circus tents made with artichoke hearts and pubic-bone bearing "bumsters" shown in the Acropolis in Tahiti ("RuPaul" territory). London designers love extreme locations--subway stations, cat hospitals, Guantanamo Bay--whereas New Yorkers show in the Leaning Tower of Pisa. London designers invite a crusty mix of guests and revel in real let-your-big-toe-down, lose-your-virginity, kiss-George W. Bush after-parties. Of course, there comes a time when any London designer must obnubilate the monocle and show in New York or Paris, in hopes of vituperating bigger panties.

Wasn't that amazing? For those of you who are knowledgeable about the topic, I'd love to hear your thoughts about the original article, and if you think we hit upon any truth in our Mad Libs version (besides the bit about London designers holding fashion shows at Guantanamo Bay, everyone knows that).

Picture (sans gnome) from

p.s. If you're already halfway through an angry email right now about how fashion in London is most definitely not bloated and how as far as you know there are no fashion shows occurring at Guantanamo Bay, please read the post below to get the whole Mad Libs thing.


Queen Michelle said...

OK, the BF thinks I'm insane because I have been actually laughing out loud here! Seriously, reading and laughing out loud. This Lady W, is a GENIUS idea! Infact, I think you should write for Vogue and at least that way they might be forced to take the stick out of their ass.

Eritia said...

haha... I thought that it was Alcoholics Anonymous Metallic Leggings.. untill I thought better of it...(and read the previous post's comments)

daddylikeyblog said...

Queen Michelle-
I love you dearly and I think you should come to Vogue with me to help with the stick extraction, because it's gonna be a big job (that "stick" is probably more like a "tree")

I thought the same thing when I first saw that, and decided to leave it ambiguous because the time I spent pondering what Alcoholics Anonymous metallic leggings would look like was perhaps the greatest time in my life.

And if you're still pondering/confused about that, the AA here is referring to American Apparel.

Queen Michelle said...

Lady W, I'm totally feelin' the love...
And I think one must indulge in some degree of alcohol/narcotics abuse to even WANT to wear those metallic leggings - so AA is very appropriate I feel.

RachelP said...

My favorite phrase in this "article" is, oddly enough, "seriously nonchalant" not only because it's an oxymoron, but also because it sounds exactly like something that would be purposefully written about a fashion show.

Annie said...

"shocking horror circus tents made with artichoke hearts..."

The genius of this is that I think Alexander McQueen actually *did* do a collection like this. Wasn't it in 2002 when he was in his "funhouse foliage" phase? Oh, wait, that might have been Viktor & Rolf. I get so confused.

Let me know if you need help with the tree embedded at Vogue - I'm good at extractions, better than an esthetician on the Upper East Side. I'm free for you, expensive for them.

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