Thursday, April 12, 2007

A Post about Moisturizer. Also: Dennis Hopper, The Mafia, Dragons.

When I lived in the dorms my freshman year of college, there was this girl who would literally sprint from the shower to her room in order to slather herself with the amount of lotion I use in a year.

The time between shower and moisturizer seemed to be of great importance to her, as if Dennis Hopper was hiding in a warehouse somewhere with a mic and a hidden speaker hooked up to her ear, saying, "Pop quiz hotshot. There's a bomb on a bus. You take more than thirty seconds to get yourself fully moisturized after exiting the shower, and it will explode. What do you do? What do you do?"


My friend Caroline, who had come to our college from Germany, used to watch this girl's panicked moisturizing ritual from across the hall with me, convinced that it was a strange American custom (maybe it is?). "What does she think is going to happen if she doesn't put her lotion on fast enough?" she used to ask in a cute, confused German accent. I just laughed and shrugged. Obviously, Caroline has never seen Speed.


But I digress. I used to judge this girl for her moisturizer obsession. I have dry skin, but I'd never tended to it with that sort of bomb squad urgency. In fact, I'd never given much thought to moisturizer at all, except to grudgingly apply it on those special days that my face resembles the lava beds of Mauna Kea. This is probably because I grew up with three younger brothers (lotion=sprayable silly string alternative!), and because I'm lucky enough to have a grandma who supplies me with an industrial-sized vat of Clinique lotion every Christmas (I'm pretty sure they don't sell it to the general public, but my grandma's never been shy about mentioning our last name and whispering, "as in, the mafia").

And so it was with great trepidation that I finally tried a sample of SkinMD Natural Shielding Lotion. Sure, it had a name that implied a powerful forcefield and it was hypoallergenic, but what if my Clinique saw me using it? What if it was kind of joking about that whole hypoallergenic thing and it made my face bloat up and all my friends ditched me because this whole time they'd really only liked me for my cheek bones? What if putting lotion on is just really boring and I never want to do it? (Okay, that one's not rhetorical. It has an answer--yes.)

I ended up trying it on a patch of skin on my elbow that had become so dry and scaly I was seriously wondering when my parents were going to come into my room and tearfully break the news that I'm half Dragon (that would be the second weird-ass dragon reference on this blog, for the first, click here). I hid my Clinique vat to spare its feelings and decided to put a dollop of SkinMD on my dragon elbow (the medical term) once a night for however many years it took to cure it. In two nights it was visibly better.


So I started putting SkinMD on my face. It feels a little weird at first, because as the website is quick to point out, it's a totally different formula than regular moisturizing lotions, but in about ten seconds your skin gulps it up and you're left to rub your smooth, non-greasy cheeks and ponder if you actually put any lotion on or if it was all just a beautiful dream.

In the couple weeks since I've been using it, people have been complimenting my skin as if it were a fabulous new dress: "Is that new?" "It looks great on you!"

9 comments:

irene said...

haha that's great.

ragy said...

I've always only liked you for your cheekbones

Anonymous said...

lololllo, great post.
However, please remove the word "punk" from the Speed quote as it is not accurate to the film.

-ct

Mrs DePoint said...

why is this particular moisturizer suddenly being pimped in all the blogs this week? this is like the fourth mention i've seen, and I don't read that many! i feel like i'm the victim of some icky viral marketing scheme. not that you're icky, winona. just make sure they pay you a lotta money for promoting their goo.

daddylikeyblog said...

Mrs. Depoint--
I totally hear ya, and thanks for calling me out on this. I was hesitant about posting this because I didn't want to be part of an icky viral marketing scheme or seem like I was part of one. The creator sent me (and many other bloggers, obviously) samples, and when I used it, it really worked great and I decided it was worth the possible ick factor to pass along the tip.
I assure you there are many sub-par samples languishing in my house without a word written about them.
I swear this blog won't become like FOX news with their "Breaking News: George W. Bush is the greatest president in the history of America" stories. I'm probably gonna get shot for saying that.

Mrs DePoint said...

winona, you are a fantastic writer and i think it's great that they send you stuff! you need some p.r. monkeys to hook you up with the entire line of nars or havaianas for life or something. the thing is, i totally would have laid out the cash for this stuff if this is was the only place i'd seen it. now i must live in my scaly skin as a matter of principle. i hope they're happy now.

Karinaxoxo said...

I got a sample of this stuff too - and its really great. I don't use it on my face but I do use it on my hands and body!!!

Annie said...

Well, I didn't get a sample of this stuff, so either I'm not on the "cool A-list bloggers" list, or the product is clearly neither poetic, nor chic.

Just kidding! This sounds like great stuff! I'm really product-loyal, but I may actually give it a whirl.

Joei said...

"SkinMD? FUCK THAT SHIT! Pabst Blue Ribbon!"

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