Monday, August 31, 2009

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week: Iambic Pentameter Edition


At first I thought my eyes were fooling me
Could something oh so beautiful be true?
Those purple beads shine like a lonely sea
That silver clasp glints like the morning dew
Of course a lowly peasant such as I
Could only dream of owning such a thing
T'would cost a mint to click the link to buy
And lord knows that I can't afford no bling
But hark! Perhaps it can still grace my wrist!
Its glory not reserved for country clubs
The price is low, I think you'll get the gist:
It's cheaper than three 12-inch Subway subs.
~~~

p.s. Big exciting announcement coming tomorrow! No more teasing, I swear, I actually have really big exciting news and I can't wait to tell you. So be there (well, here) or be square! Pretty please?

Friday, August 28, 2009

Dear Daddy Likey: Style in a Soggy State

Dear Daddy Likey,

I'm a high school senior in warm, sunny California, who will be going to college in cold...rainy....Washington state. I love rain, but I have very little to shell out on a new wardrobe. I'm a poor college student here! I need a glorious warm coat and some knee-length leather boots to keep out the rain... and I need to be able to afford it all. Any suggestions? Please and thank you.

Signed,
Soon-to-be-Soggy

Dear Soggy,

Congratulations on coming to the Pacific Northwest! I'm sure you'll like it here. Yes, it can be a bit damp, but the people are super friendly, the food is super tasty, and you can't say we don't appreciate a hybrid vehicle or an Obama bumper sticker.

Let's talk about the coat: Yes, you'll need a warm coat. Not as warm as you would need, in, say, Chicago, but it definitely gets chilly here. My favorite glorious warm coat is a wool peacoat. Some people might say this is a boring choice, but I say it's a classic, and there are so many variations and unique details that can set yours apart. Try one in a rich color, or with a belt, bold buttons, pretty lining, attached bedazzled cape, whatever. A peacoat goes with everything and will keep you warm and stylish--that's a Daddy Likey guarantee!

St. John's Bay Cashemere-Blend Classic Pea Coat, $99, here

For most of the cold/rainy months, you can get away with a fabulous, bright-colored rain coat with a warm sweater underneath, which I highly recommend. This one is adorable:

Puff Sleeve Rain Jacket, on sale for $44, here

An important note for Pacific Northwest* transplants: Buying a black North Face fleece jacket in Oregon and Washington is like 3 years of national military service in Israel: required, although exceptions may be made on religious, physical, or psychological grounds. I tried getting through my freshman year of college without one, and I think I made it three months before I cleaned out my savings account and procured one for myself. Yes, this was the same year I so easily caved to the baggy OSU sweatshirt craze, in addition to carrying on a 6-month flirtation with a guy in my French class because he offered to combine shipping costs on an order of Converse All-Stars, but still, I want you to know the North Face fleece pressure is there, and it's tremendous--be ready.

As for those leather boots, I think your best bet--if it doesn't gross you out--is to hit up some thrift stores and/or ebay. Cheap, cute, new leather boots are tough to find. Cheap, cute, vintage leather boots are not. And as a bonus, secondhand (secondfoot?) boots are already worn in, so your chances of becoming known as "limping bloody blister girl" around campus are less.

If you're set on a new pair, here are a couple semi-cheap options:

Clarks March Boots, $80-$192, depending on color and size, here

RSVP Billie Boots, $48, here

These are manmade material, but they're really cute and come in wide-calf sizes:

Naturalizer Scurry Boot, $72, here

Also, these are pretty badass.

And don't forget that if you're looking for cheap, waterproof, and eternally cheery (even on the dreariest of northwest winter days), you can't beat a pair of bright red rain boots:

RSVP, $10, here

*Wasn't sure if I should include British Columbia in the North Face fanatics category--does the obsession with expensive water-repellent fleece jackets extend across the border?

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Blogback Mountain + Chicago Blogger Pics!

I recently discovered two fabulous personal style blogs that have become fast favorites: Fashion Therapist and District of Chic. Please check 'em out and show some love!

How gorgeous is Amber?

Don't let Martin see these.

I think the entire internet is waiting for the pictures of Joanna's sure-to-be-gorgeous wedding. Congrats, Jo and Alex--have a wonderful time this weekend!

This is making me hungry.

Laura Jane has a friend who wants to circumnavigate the world, solo, in a boat, and Laura Jane is prepared to do whatever necessary to help her out.

Are you a pale-skinned blue-eyed brunette? Here's your perfect lipstick!

Growing up in a family of biologists, I've seen my share of denim button-up shirts, pleated dockers and orthopedic clogs, so I love love love Fashion For Nerds for proving that scientists can be sassy and chic!

Good advice.

Figure Flatter as a Limiting Factor: Love this!

Lemon Love posted some great packing tips to help me prepare for my recent trip to Chicago. (She took pity on me after I confessed my packing strategy can be summed up as "Cram everything I own in a suitcase. Pray it doesn't explode.")

Speaking of Chicago, during my time in the windy city I was lucky enough to meet up with a few lovely blogger friends, and I had a fabulous time with each and every one of them! Here are a few pics:

With my blogger soulmate, Sarah from Yes and Yes. We got in trouble for taking pictures at Forever21 and accidentally ate at a steakhouse.

With Clare from Between Laundry Days, half of Jennine from The Coveted, and Jennine's husband, Rocky. We ate giant pancakes and posed like power rangers.

Oh, and here's Jennine's whole face for good measure:

She's adorable!

I also had dinner with the lovely Dana from I'm Not Drunk, I'm Brilliant, but our photo shoot was limited to a dark self-timer experiment on the sidewalk after eating what can accurately be described as a trough of creamy pasta, so I'd rather not showcase the results. It was superfun though, and I hope to cross paths will all of you again in the future!

P.S. Can someone write a post about how to maintain cute hair while traveling? Because this unfortunate frizzball thing is becoming a theme for me.

Five Men's Fashion First Impressions: I'm Sick and They're Chatty Edition

I'm still feeling sickly, but what better excuse to do a Five Men post, right? For anyone new to Daddy Likey, Five Men's Fashion First Impressions is a recurring feature in which I show an odd, complex, or avant-garde fashion item to the five prominent guys in my life (3 brothers, dad, and boyfriend) and solicit their snap judgments. Here's the first Five Men post ever written, if you want to check it out, and here's the photo I showed them today:


Let's see what they had to say:

Brother, age 22: One time this guy in my class showed everyone pictures of him and his girlfriend having sex in a similar contraption. It's just nightmarish and awful. That's all.

Boyfriend: (Laughs giddily) I'm really confused. Is this for a stage performance or is this fashion?
Me: Well, it's runway, so both.
Boyfriend: So they ran out of time to finish the runway and just attached the lights to her dress?

(14-year-old brother walks in carrying a metal detector)
Me: First of all, why are you carrying a metal detector?
Brother, age 14: I was searching for the magazine for an AR-15 rifle.
Me: OK. Well, what do you think of this picture?
Brother, age 14: It's like something at a doctor's office that they stretch skin out with. Does it have its own lighting rig? Jealous!

Brother, age 19: Clive Barker dabbles in fashion design.

Father: It looks like a joke from Fritz Lang's Metropolis.
Me: Oh! I think I saw that in my film studies class. Is that the one with the famous scene of a baby carriage rolling down the stairs for, like, 20 minutes?
Father: I don't think so. Why was a baby carriage rolling down the stairs?
Me: Nazis, I think. Or bad baby carriage brakes. Or symbolism. Or something.
Father: Metropolis is the one where mad scientists create a simulacrum of a female factory worker.
Me: Oh, I must have skipped class that day.

After a little research I realized I was confusing Metropolis with The Battleship Potemkin--I'm such a silly goose! And in other news, thanks so much to Kayla for submitting that awesome photo. If you have a fashion find worthy of the Five Men, please feel free to send it along: daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Sick Day

Unfortunately I seem to have picked up the latest cold that's going around (I'm going to blame this one on the guy who was hacking up a lung while reading Donald Trump's book, "Think Like a Champion," on my flight home from Chicago), so I'll be back to blogging as soon as I feel fashionable and funny again. Hopefully sometime tomorrow!

Monday, August 24, 2009

High Fashion Haiku

Downside of clock hat:
You still have to ask people
to tell you the time.

photo via this article, via lovely reader Paisley

Thursday, August 20, 2009

New Sponsor: Cance

I'm so happy to introduce you to Daddy Likey's newest sponsor: Cance, an Etsy boutique run by the lovely and talented Kelly and stocked with gorgeous drawings, watercolors, collages, jewelry, embroidery, etc, etc, etc:

All of her pieces are feminine, beautiful, and affordable, which are my three favorite adjectives (if we were doing four I would throw in "parmesan-y"). I hope you'll check out her shop and show her some of that good ol' Daddy Likey lovin'!

Oops, that came out creepy. But you know what I mean.

p.s. If you're an artist, blogger, jewelry-maker, vintage-seller, or drug dealer (kidding!), and would be interested in sponsoring Daddy Likey, please email me at daddylikeyblog@gmail.com. I'd love to discuss the details with you!

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Live, from Chicago: Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

OK, that title may have come off as a little too excited--this is a regular Don't Show-cha Your Chocha post, just written from my hotel room in Chicago. I didn't scout out any candid Chicago chocha or anything (somehow I don't think that would endear me to the city), but I did skip this feature last week and decided it was worth the $9.99 internet charge to make up for that.

If you're new to Daddy Likey, click here to read the introduction to Don't Show-cha Your Chocha, and if you're a seasoned Daddy Likey pro, read on for the latest saga of the war on pants (and sometimes, underwear).

We'll kick things off with a confused cowgirl:

Says reader Vanessa: Cowgirl needs to learn that "tunic" is not a synonym for "dress."

Kristen sent in this really pretty, really short dress:

Good lord, lady, leave that hem alone! I assure you it's quite high enough already.

Here's an email from Claudia: While browsing through the fine apparel dresses (aka dresses I will never own) on the Neiman Marcus website, I came across a $2,595 Stella McCartney, cream-colored, chocha-showing dress...

Well, yeah, you couldn't do anything without showing your boobs and your chocha! Not good.

Next up, from Angela:

Yeah, that's definitely an awkwardly placed slit.

Speaking of slits, refined reader Carolyn sent in this picture of the often-featured Lisa Rinna:

She says: This seems like a new angle on your running theme. Possibly 'slit to slit' but that may be waaaaay to crass. Unfortunately it was the first thing that came to mind. [Editor's note: Carolyn, my blog is called "Daddy Likey." Few things are too crass.]

From Miss Staci:

She says: Here is a delightful photograph of a sweater (dress?) and tights modeled by someone who very clearly wants to show off her chocha.

The email from Jessica was deceptively innocent. All it said was, "I have a tunic for you." And then, THIS:

So, I know I'm supposed to be more accepting of weird styles and stuff, but this is just the most awful thing I've ever seen. Everything about this picture upsets me.

And finally, an exceedingly clever reader named Greta sent me a chocha-related glossary that I really hope catches on:

The Faux-cha: when a designer modestly covers the chocha and then embellishes the area with some furry trim or bulls eye design anyway.

The Low-cha: when the chocha actually drops below a hemline...or the hemline creeps up. Same effect.

The No-cha: when ill-cut pants stretch tightly across two protruding hip bones like a trampoline, the inseam is a bit long, and it all result in the appearance of no chocha at all.

The Hello-cha: the pose a model strikes when she is proud to put her girly bits out there.

The Joe-cha: Male equivalent.

Awesome, right? Remember to email me your chocha finds, defenders of decency! daddylikeyblog@gmail.com

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week (plus a p.s.)

"A Little Love" 4x6 Print, $5

A kitten eating a cupcake? Nope. A baby triceratops with a pink ribbon tied around its horn? Nah. My beaming boyfriend in the post below? No way! There's absolutely nothing cuter than a smiling little mouse holding a love note. And even the price (5 bucks!) is just adorable.

p.s. Tomorrow morning I'm headed to Chicago for a 5-day improv/comedy writing workshop (also an excuse to meet up with a few of my favorite bloggers!). Posting may be light, because I'll be busy trying to write jokes and eating deep dish pizza, or it may be heavy, because I'll be bored in my hotel room late at night. I have no idea which, but just a heads up!

And any lovely Chicagoans out there, feel free to share any recommendations for must-see attractions or must-eat foods--I'm eternally grateful for your guidance!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Big Day for the BF

On Saturday my boyfriend Nick is graduating from PSU with a bachelor's degree in history. He's the first person in his family--extended family, too!--to go to college, let alone graduate. I'm so proud of him, so I had to brag a little. Congratulations, Nick!

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Clothes Make the Man, by my little brother Bob

I'm busy with work today so I asked my 14-year-old brother Bob, who was recently the subject of an impromptu makeover conducted by yours truly, if he would write up a guest post about the experience. The short essay he submitted makes it clear that he is well on his way to becoming a better writer than me, which stirs up feelings of intense pride and blossoming insecurity, but I'll deal with that later in therapy. For now, here's Bob's post:

Imagine if you will, a 14-year-old boy in a grease-stained Portland State University t-shirt from 1998, old black jeans with red paint drips on them, and holes from where he stabbed them with a knife.

That was me at one time, although I cannot remember those days with clarity anymore. They seem so far away: days of poor hygiene, grubby clothes, low self esteem. Lately things have changed. I am happy, my teeth are white, I bathe regularly, and I am proud to say I have been completely de-wormed!

During a recent outing with Winona, we were waiting for her boyfriend and decided to wander around in a store for several hours. As usual with Winona, things started drifting into the clothing section. That day I was wearing my aptly named "badger attack pants" and a poorly fitting Carhartt shirt I borrowed from my dad. We had a make-shift intervention right then and there, and Winona convinced me to go shopping for some new clothes. I really didn’t know what style I liked, so I just stood around saying I hated everything she picked out for me, mostly T-shirts and button ups.

Eventually she persuaded me to try on a button up. I slid the shirt over my greasy dark green work shirt and decided it felt good. That was the easy part. Now I had to swallow my pride and tell her she was right and I loved it. We tried on more shirts until we had a nice stockpile built up. Winona’s eyes must have wandered to the suspicious “bloody residue” on my pant leg because before I knew it we were off to pant world. I decided I liked Levi’s so we rifled through those before Winona picked some out for me. Let me just say, she is a masterful pants picker, erm… picker-outerer, and all the pants fit. I only discarded the pair that had a button fly.

Let's move ahead to today, where I sit before you hunched over a keyboard with blood-shot eyes and delicious creative juices spraying into a cavity in my brain where something important should be. I am in a crisp white tagless T-shirt with a button up shirt on over that, with some amazing jeans that I can wear for extended periods without intense stinging pain in my waist.

One of my new outfits

I wore this out today and let me just say I felt better, know I looked better, and my heart didn’t feel quite as clogged with chunks of turkey. I was a lot happier with the way I looked, and I accomplished everything today that I would have with my old wardrobe on: I ripped apart an old couch, I played with my cats, I played with a crowbar and ran through a store with a huge pack of coat hangers looking for my lost dad (and I found him!). Thank you Nona!

Fashion Mad Libs Results: Raking In the Big Bucks for Egregious Nostrils

Alright, our latest Fashion Mad Libs is finished and ready to go! (See two posts down for the intro post.)

For this installment, I chose to mangle (in a good way!) a perfectly lovely post from the perfectly lovely fashion blog over at Glamour.com. The original subject matter was the fascinating world of "parts modeling," but you wouldn't know it from our little masterpiece:

What kind of bunnies can go to work in front of the CD case without a stitch of purple nail polish, aren't allowed to do laundry, and regularly make up to $5,8000,982 a day without even showing their business cards?

This bunny is wearing purple nail polish. She's a good bunny.

They're "hospital models," and according to CNN, they're raking in big bucks for their egregious nostrils and phalanges.

While it may sound like an easy way to get juicy quick, industry veterans warn that it can be much more demanding than the catwalk and Mexican restaurant work most models do.

"Some people have a very divine view of what pupil modeling is," Danielle Korwin, president of the Vegas -based Parts Models modeling agency, told CNN. "Their grandmother or Joseph Stalin or John Hughes has said, 'you have great golden retrievers, you should be a Multi-Generational Plan,' but we want only the lackadaisical. Your hands have to be alarm clock-less, panda-less and flawless." You're also expected to hold your spatulas or antennae in gelatinous ceiling fans for hours, avoid cocktail waitressing or paperwork or anything that might damage your ankle and "convey puzzlement" with a flick of the wiener dog.

Brilliant! Thanks so much to everyone who participated, and for those who didn't make it to the comments section in time, you need to work on your browser refreshing skills (no offense, but it's true), and keep an eye out for the next installment!


p.s. In semi-related news, my friend Brittney is currently dogsitting SIX disabled wiener dogs, and lucky for us, she wrote a blog post about it.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

New Sponsor: Love You Big!

I'm so excited to announce my new sponsor, love you big! This fabulous little etsy store is stocked with adorable papercrafts and goodies, and run by a PhD candidate, natch! (In other news, any day I get to say "natch!" is a good day, indeed.) Plus, everything in the shop is under 10 bucks.




I especially love these little butterfly wall decorations, made from old map papers. They're so pretty and inspiring.

Please check out love you big, and thank you so much for supporting Daddy Likey's wonderful sponsors!

Fashion Mad Libs Returns!

Yes, it's finally time for Fashion Mad Libs' triumphant return! I know I said I would give you advance notice so you could be totally ready and have time to practice generating clever nouns, but I got so excited to post this that a 20-minute Twitter warning was all I could muster. Next time I'll do better, I swear! I'll give you, like, 6 months to prepare.

If you've never participated in Fashion Mad Libs on Daddy Likey, and aren't really understanding the self-explanatory name, then click here to read the confusing and convoluted introductory post.


The basic premise is this: I shamelessly steal a fashion related article from a classified source (you'll find out soon enough), and turn it into a Mad Libs by having you guys replace words with new ones that don't make sense, so it's funny, see? I'll give you a list of the kinds of words I need, and you give them to me in the comment section. For example, if this was the list:

1. plural noun
2. adjective

Then the first commenter would write "1. kittens" and the second commenter would write "2. jolly." Or whatever. It's mega important to comment in order and number your entries, or else the next commenters won't know where to start and anarchy will ensue and society will crumble. Or something like that.

OK, here we go!

1. Plural Noun

2. Noun

3. Noun

4. A Tedious Chore

5. An Exorbitant Sum of Money

6. Plural Noun

7. Plural Noun

8. Adjective

9. Body Part--Plural

10. Body Part--Plural

11. Adjective

12. A Place of Work

13. Adjective

14. Location

15. A person

16. Plural Noun

17. Noun

18. Adjective

19. Noun

20. Noun

21. Plural Noun

22. Plural Noun

23. Adjective

24. A kind of work

25. Body Part

26. An Emotion

27. Noun

Godspeed, and stay tuned for our marvelously mangled masterpiece!

Saturday, August 08, 2009

Awesome Affordable Etsy Find of the Week!

Burt Reynolds Thank You Card, $5

Do I really need to say anything more? I think a Burt Reynolds thank you card pretty much speaks for itself. And when it speaks, it says "Awesome."

Friday, August 07, 2009

Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

Well, the super-short-dress/wearing-shirts-without-pants trends are showing no signs of slowing, which means the hilarious emails keep rolling into my inbox, which means it's time for your weekly helping of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

First up this week, our old favorite Pammy A:

Reader Erinn sums it up nicely: I just lost a little hope for the human race and gained a little more appreciation for panties all at the same time.

Here's a great one from Vanessa:

She says: I found this on Forever21's website under the suggested outfits category. And, you know, I love the outfit. Except I would wear it with pants. It looks like she'd prefer pants, too.... Also, that thing she's wearing? It's listed as a dress. I swear to God.

O.M.G. I totally love this:

Says Kelly: Who knew my nana's nightdress could be so....smutty? And why is this designed to be so swingy, when it is clearly a horrible idea for this poor girl to lose any inch of fabric?

Excellent questions, indeed.

Next up, Paige sent me a plethora of ridiculously chochatastic prom dresses:




I think I like this last one the best. Everything from her intensely awkward stance to her facial expression is just perfect.

Here's another classy prom chocha from reader Kate:

She says, in totally justified capital letters: WHY IS THIS MODEL REACHING FOR IT?! WHY IS THIS HER SIGNATURE POSE?! STOP THAT.

And finally, Jennie sent me an email that said: This link will lead to to a hussyfied hamburger dress. For serious. There are no words in my vocabulary to express how mystified I am by this.

Wow, yeah. I second that emotion. I also really want this dress, but that's another story.

Please send your Don't Show-cha Your Chocha submissions to daddylikeyblog@gmail.com! Thanks!

p.s. Click here if you're new to the site and would like to read about the beginning of DSYC.

New Sponsor! MeganKills

I'd like to give a warm welcome to Daddy Likey's new sponsor, Etsy shop MeganKills!

The lovely Megan (who is not actually a killer, as far as I know) stocks a great variety of vintage clothing, accessories, quirky miscellaneous, and original art.

What I especially love about Megan's shop, besides her fabulous aesthetic, is that she carries funky vintage clothes in a wide array of sizes--there's an adorable little pencil skirt with a 26-inch waist next to a fabulous belted bubblegum pink skirt that could fit up to a 39-inch waist, and everything in between. As someone who wears a modern-day size 10/12, and considering that many of my vintage shopping excursions go like this, I really appreciate seeing well-chosen vintage pieces that would actually fit me (bonus: many pieces are less than 10 bucks).

Please show MeganKills some love! Thank you!

p.s. And check back later today for your weekly dose of Don't Show-cha Your Chocha!

Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Blogback Mountain

The awesome Rory from the awesome blog Awesome All Day recently conducted an awesome interview with me. Please check it out and show him some love!

Possibly my fave Nubby outfit to date.

When I was about 10, I attempted to start a barf bag art trend, in which I would draw stuff on barf bags during plane rides, and then sell my masterpieces for a million dollars. Nothing came of it, but now this guy is selling Styrofoam cup art for hundreds of dollars. Sure, his stuff is way better than mine, but I'm still a little bitter.

I might have to move to New York just to try to score invites to Joanna G's parties.

And to drink peach sangria with WendyB at the Christian Francis Roth studio.

Secret Society of List Addicts is such a rad blog, and they welcome submissions from readers! Here's mine, which includes my preferred definition of the word "nonplussed."

Speaking of lists, here's 15 Skills Every Woman Should Master, and 50 Things Every Woman Should Do In Her Lifetime.

I've been obsessed with the south since my trip to New Orleans, and seeing the gorgeous Creole Collection isn't helping.

My friend Brittney perfectly describes the 20-minute trendy outfit "Time of Doubt." Love it.

Just gorgeous.

And finally, a huge congratulations to new mama Eve and new auntie Amber!!

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

The Pasta Omelet Flashback Sandal

Ranking among my favorite stories in our family lore is the time my dad decided to make an omelet out of everything in the fridge.

When my brothers and I were growing up, my parents' work schedules meant that my dad was almost always on dinner duty. We quickly got used to his creative cooking techniques--butter sandwiches, anyone?--and friendly "Eat it or die" motto, but nothing could have prepared us for the night we sat down to eat what looked like a basic omelet.

I took my first bite, and within the eggy mixture I tasted the unmistakable doughy crust of Papa Murphy's hawaiian pizza.

"Ummm, Dad?" I asked. "Is there old pizza in this omelet?"

"Yes," he said flatly.

"Oh." I looked over at my brother Devin, whose mouth was agape, a tangle of yellow egg and white noodles hanging down over his chin. Horrified, I used my fork to split open the wedge of omelet on my plate, and sure enough, within it sat a clump of last night's fettuccine alfredo.

"Ummm, Dad?" Devin asked. "Why is there fettuccine in this omelet?"

"Because," my dad said, "I didn't want the leftovers to go to waste."

My next bite yielded teriyaki stir fry, then a hunk of apple sauce porkchop.

The dinner soon devolved into hysterical laughter, each of us guessing what our next forkful would reveal. All the while, my dad sat at the head of the table, stoically eating his pizza-pasta-stir fry-pork chop omelet creation, insisting it wasn't that bad. And also, to eat it or die.

Why am I telling you this story? Well, I recently found the shoe equivalent of my dad's famous omelet experiment:


Right? I mean, this designer just threw everything in the pan--there's an orthopedic sole, gladiator shape, athletic laces, high end snakesin, and even a sort of puffy moonboot material up at the top there. I'm sort of surprised the description doesn't include, "Wear it or die."

I might choose die. No offense.
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