I once read an article in which Ellen Degeneres talked about how she and Portia both get their designer duds on and walk the red carpet, and everyone is like, "Portia! Portia! Who are you wearing??", but, as Ellen said, "Nobody cares [about what I'm wearing] because I have a suit on, even if it's a Gucci suit. That to me is frustrating, because I put effort into getting ready too." Sad, right?
Well Ellen, to remedy this, I am going to ignore all other Oscar fashions and dedicate this post to you and only you! Because I know that one post from a semi-popular niche blog will totally make up for all those years of being fashion-shafted. Yeah, probably not.
Editor's note: So, this post is late because I wrote that happy optimistic above section last night and started looking for pictures of Ellen's suits...and kept looking...and looking...and looking...and when it was 3 in the morning and I had only found one picture of Ellen's top half in one of her multiple costume changes, I realized that homegirl's got a point. Nobody does seem to care that much. She wasn't even listed in the style section on the Academy Awards website, and I think I saw Carrot Top's name in there. I finally found a couple photos on Popsugar (and this morning, another good one on Mollygood), but by that time I was so demoralized and tired that I decided to go to sleep rather than face this cruel, not-interested-in-a-woman-in-a-tuxedo world for another second. But now it's a new day, and I'm sticking to my guns and using these kind of crappy pictures as the basis for an all-Ellen post.
To begin, I loved the burgundy velvet tux and white shoes. The shoes make the look, don't you think?
I would have maybe done something a little different underneath, as the white shirt is a little crumpled and sort of looks like a $19.95 polo from American Eagle, but otherwise, love the color, the texture, and the details. Ooh! And the hair! The hair looked great all night. I was especially impressed with that, because after the 40th dramatic film-clip montage, I pulled all mine out. Way to stay the course, Ellen!
Next, we have the all-white ensemble:
I missed this part of the show, so I'm not really sure why she has an Oscar in a baby carrier, but she's successfully rocking those white pants. I've never worn or gone near white pants because in those sixth grade puberty videos, the main character always starts her period in an all-white outfit in front of the football team, and I just really don't want to risk that.
Even though this is probably the oddest, least-flattering picture ever, this was my favorite Ellen ensemble of the night:
I love the dark, monochromatic look with her light skin and hair. A+!
And another fabulous jewel-tone velvet at the afterparty:
I actually have to give Ellen the fashion edge here. Portia looks gorgeous, but I've always thought that satin only works on this extremely rare body type that isn't too thin or too fat but nicely soft and rounded. Portia is just a bit too far to the bony side for the dress to hang as it should, but what the hell, they look adorable together in their matching outfits and blonde hair.
In conclusion, I for one would just like to say, "Ellen! Ellen! Who are you wearing??"
p.s. If seeing Portia's gown made you realize how much you wanna look at pretty dresses, check out the fashion blog Oscar coverage at Faking Good Breeding, Fabsugar, Go Fug Yourself, Poetic & Chic, Fashion IQ, and The Fashion Bomb.