Friday, February 02, 2007

Invasions and Bodysuits

Woody Allen said, "I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland."

I have a similar response to the American Apparel website. I can't spend too much time on it or I start getting the urge to get a hipster haircut and splay myself out in contortionist softcore porn poses in my underwear in really ironic places, like the bathtub:


Or on the floor in a dirty hotel:


Or maybe in a public locker room shower:

Jesus, is that a subway station?

Conquering Poland actually sounds like way more fun. At least you can't get herpes that way.

16 comments:

QM said...

That chick at the top looks like she's been wrapped in foil, ready for stuffing and popping in the oven at 220 for and hour and a half.hxbiux

QM said...

Oh. I don't what that bizarre hxbiux word is. Clearly I'm more distressed than I thought at that photo - HXBIUX!! I tell you!

Karolin said...

I just came here and I must say that I love your way of writing! The sentences are just marvelous! Came here from LTMJ.

Love Karolin, Swe

Chanel said...

The editorial pics on the American Apparel site are a little weird at times, so I know what you mean.

kate said...

yeah, I totally have this weird attraction/ repulsion response to american apparel (http://visadiaries.com/wordpress/?p=15). It is somewhat annoyingly compelling...

Hypnotic Romance said...

Or you could conquer Poland by suducing then to summit to your power by posting softcore 70's porn jump-suit hipster photos of your self all across their nation. They would be so entranced by your weridly sexualy and slightly out dated (but hip at the same time) photos that they would want to know more about you and your "Americam Ways", but the only way they could do that would be to put you in office and let you lead the country!
BRILIANT!

Tito said...

I already have two bodysuits... and i'm going to save up for a third. I'm slightly ashamed for i don't particularly love Dov, but they're too cute.

Eli said...

At fornarina, we had a few body suits this season. People always had the worst reactions to them. But they werent that bad.

The worst part though, was taking out the unwanted ones from the fitting rooms and having to touch the groin rubbing snaps area. I would just leave them unsnapped, than to touch a just recently tried on bodysuit.

the lipstick lady said...

i have that gold bathing suit! in silver though. the ads make me feel as if all these people just had a rough night out, and they look pretty depressed as well

Flashy_Shades said...

HA!

ps- please don't get an assymmetrical hipster haircut. they are the worst.

eurobrat said...

haha, quite :)

dusk&summer said...

i know!! their website is super random...and theres alot of nudity..

Carissa said...

American Apparel just seems like a breeding ground for bacteria.

Moi said...

Lol, so freaking strange!!!

S. said...

Gag

Tamron Lohan said...

alkjd;lafjdlasj I HATE American Apparel!

There was a MASSIVE billboard of this chick's gross CROTCH on the corner of Houston and 1st Avenue in downtown NY, right by where I used to live. I DO NOT need to see a sweaty 70s crotch in a bathtub on my way to work EVERY effing morning!

And while I'm at it, in terms of the clothes (uh, what clothes?), Alternative Apparel is so much better.

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