Lovely reader Dana suggested I ask the Five Men what they thought of these Jessica Simpson cut-out wedges that have been pretty popular with fashion bloggers. (Click here if you're new to Daddy Likey and want some backstory, or here if you're just bored at work and want to read the complete Five Men archives.)
And so, with utmost respect to the women who love these shoes, here are the unfiltered words of five men who (mostly) don't:
Boyfriend: Looks like this designer is doing their part to be environmentally friendly by cutting down on materials needed to make a piece of crap.
Brother, age 22: I would feel confident in them.
Me: So, quick follow-up question: Are you a drag queen?
Brother: Screw off! Pretending I'm wearing it helps me understand it.
Brother, age 19: Pro: More bird-friendly than its solid glass counterpart. Con: Ugly as fuck.
Brother, age 14: They look like a small glass framework of a mouse's house on scaffolding super-glued to a bad black shoe.
Father: There is no beauty that does not have some strangeness in the proportion.
Me: Does that mean you like them?