Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Top 5 Most Important Things I'm Packing for my Florida Vacation and Why

In a couple weeks my dad is taking two of my brothers and me on a trip to visit his homeland of southern Florida. The main goals of this trip are eating key lime pie, hunting invasive Burmese pythons, and "bush busting," which, from what I've gathered, means parking your car on the side of the road, then walking out into the everglades and trying not to die.

I'm starting to formulate my packing list, and I wanted to share my top five suitcase priorities:

1. Debra Morgan Shirt
I'm obsessed with the show Dexter. Obsessed. Like, sometimes I sit at my desk at work and daydream about what it would be like if I were friends with the cast, and I laugh quietly to myself about our silly antics and witty repartee. One of my favorite characters is Debra, Dexter's sassy sister (I'm constantly trying to get my brothers to compare me to Debra but they insist I'm more like Vince Masuka. Hmm...). Anyway, since the show is set in Miami, Debra is always wearing these simple linen button-up blouses with the sleeves rolled up, and she looks so cool, in both senses of the word.

This style of shirt looks really, really bad on me, but that didn't stop me from buying a $14.99 version at Marshalls yesterday, and it won't stop me from wearing it everyday in Florida and swearing like a sailor.

2. Bush-Busting Boots

Hopefully these will help me achieve that "not dying" goal.

3. A Small and Sensible Pocket Knife

When I told my friend Katie about my upcoming vacation and our snake stalking plans, she immediately replied, "When I was a kid this missionary came to our church and told us that if you're ever being eaten by a python you should let it swallow you up to your chest, then use the pocket knife you have stashed in your pocket to slice up the side of its belly and escape."

So I said, "What if it eats you head first?"

"They didn't mention that."

"Oh."

In summary, I need to bring a knife. Preferably in a Tomb Raider style thigh holster. And I need to practice crawling into a snake's mouth feet first. And if TSA agents stop me at the airport and are all, "Umm, ma'am, you can't take a 3 foot gold-plated dagger on the plane," I will tell them the story Katie told me, and they will be like, "Godspeed, brave traveler, godspeed."

Alternate plan: wear this gorgeous Wendy Brandes sword necklace and let the snake eat me up to my neck before exacting my revenge.

4. Vintage sunglasses

Because I treasure any excuse to buy another pair of vintage sunglasses.

5. My Esther Williams swimsuit

For taking a refreshing dip in the ocean oil slick.

Any other ideas, tips, or suggestions? What's the weirdest vacation you've ever taken?

30 comments:

Lovers, Saints & Sailors said...

I got all weirded out when I found out that Dexter and Deborah are married in real life...

daddylikeyblog said...

Right?? I try to forget about that when I watch the show but sometimes I get a little creeped out too.

Lauren said...

Oh, I love Deb too! I haven't seen season 4 yet though, so SHH! I've avoided internet spoilers this long. Now, if I can only hold out til it comes out on DVD...

Also, if your dad is from southern Florida, does this mean he was born retired?

Jenniferyumyums said...

I just found that out yesterday!!! Totally weird.. as if Dexter needed another creepy twist!

Jenny said...

I was just as creeped out by this! What season are you all on?

Emma said...

Sooo I just went back and read your Esther Williams back catalogue and now I really really really want one of her swimsuits despite moving from Australia to France in a few months which means I will be heading into 3 consecutive winters but ohmygodtheyaresocute

Lady Cardigan said...

I grew up in South Florida without any of these things (except sunglasses)! Bring sunscreen and short-sleeved t-shirts. A hat might be a good idea, too.

I left S. Fl before the python invasion. So glad I missed that.

TSquared said...

On my trip to the Everglades, I got ferociously attacked by mosquitoes, so I recommend packing or buying a pull-over made of mosquito net. I wore my hood cinched and even had a little net baggie thing that went over my head to try to keep the mosquitoes away, I was so tasty to them.
Good luck! Don't let any of the nasties, big or small, get you!

Renée T. Bouchard said...

Good luck with the whole not-dying thing. This post cracked me up! :)

A-Dubs said...

Dexter and Deb are married?! Why!? Why did you have to tell me?!

Also, I like your snake-related plans. Either one is totally doable.

WendyB said...

Got sword earrings almost done too!

marloperry said...

Take some xanax if you go on an airboat ride!

I went on one and freaked-the-fuck-out.

I didn't know they were fast and I had to hang on for dear life.

No seatbelts or ANYTHING!

I wish I'd been hevily medicated throughout the whole thing, so I'm passing this advice onto you.

Kate @ Tres Lola said...

Big yes to retro fabulous swimsuits and lace up boots... perhaps not at once.. or maybe.. it could work.. new style for winter 2010? (this is why i do not attempt to fashion blog)

MissAmy said...

So where in the state will you be? I'm interested because I live in Naples which is right at the beginning of Alligator Alley. And I'm your biggest fan! OK, maybe not the biggest - I don't know your shoe size. Yet. But I love your blog :) In fact, I sometimes sit at my desk at work and daydream about what it would be like if I were friends with you, and I laugh quietly to myself about our silly antics and witty repartee. OK, I kid, but still - you're gonna be in my state - wheeee! Good luck with the snake hunting!

Sal said...

I think that just about covers it. Maybe some insect repellent, too?

Anonymous said...

I have a raging, fiery love affair with linen button shirts with camp sleeves and own two so I support your purchase and believe you probably look amazing in them okay. I also own six cotton versions. I know what I look good in, and camp shirts are it. All that cotton is a pain in the bum to iron though.

(I have a brown linen camp shirt I got at Old Navy untold ages ago that has button tabs on the sides so you can ruche or not ruche them, as you please. Is that not thoughtful for the tucker-into-skirts, and adorable?)

Epaulettes = ten times hotter than no epaulettes. You could put epaulettes on a maxi dress and still look amazing.

Somehow.

A-C said...

Dude--I grew up in Miami. Take a combination sunscreen/bug spray. Both are seriously needed for any trek in the Everglades. Also, a hat that will stay on your head that you wouldn't mind getting muddy. Lastly, a GPS. Seriously. The Everglades is a gigantic swamp and if you don't know where you're going, it is VERY easy to get lost. Have fun!

lawschoolfashionista

Kim said...

I grew up not too far from there as well and I agree with all the tips for bringing (or buying once you're down there) bug repellent. Those suckers don't play and can make your entire life a misery if you're not pro-active enough. Other than that, I'd live in tank tops, cut-off's and flipflops (for when you're not doing battle in the swamp of course).

Giselle said...

haha trying not to die. thats so funny because i drive through the everglades about once a week from miami and i see cars pulled over all the time doing God know what in there. seriously be careful! last week i saw an alligator on the side of the road being eaten by a bunch of birds..which reminds me...you can even eat an alligator burger in some of the restaurants there! oh and bring sunscreen, short sleeved shirts, and rain boots/umbrellas/anything for the rain because its been raining a lot in south fl.

Diana said...

Deb is hofucking badass. I love her and the whole show.

I'm so happy you will be in my state! I live in Tampa, so if you're ever in the vicinity I will so take you out for drinks on the water, where we can admire the encroaching oil.

kelly said...

I love the Deb shirt and I want one even though I suspect camp shirts look terrible on me. Possibly you have just inspired me to get one anyway...

Anonymous said...

In my late 20s, I went to southern Florida with my parents -- a trio of Oregonians waaay out of our element. We rented a car and drove across the state on Alligator Alley [?]. We stopped at some little pull-out along the way to stretch our legs. My father and I were standing on the side of the road by a swampy area and my father said "oh, look!! an alligator!" and gestured at a dark, lumpy mass on the swampy bank. I let out a big scoff and said in my late 20s wisdom: "ohhh, Dad, alligators in Florida are probably like cougars in Oregon...they are there but you don't ever see them."

Mr. Alligator gave a big swish of his tail and plopped into the water and swam away.

Holy shitsky!

Be careful!

Menina said...

I went to Florida a few summers ago and would have most likely died if I wore boots in that heat. But then I am from England...

That knife is amazing!

Dao said...

Dude, bring sunscreen! Depending on what part of FL you're visiting, you may not get a chance to take a dip in the water at all. People are going ballistic here since the oil spill happened.

Anna said...

A couple of days ago I decided I was almost definitely going to buy an Esther Williams cozzie next Thursday (aka payday) - they are now available from a company called 'For Luna' in the UK - so I spent AGES looking through the Daddy Likey archives for your posts about the ones you bought to further convince myself I could justify the splashy-outiness of nearly 60 quid, and now what do I find but an Esther mention in your latest post and also a link that I clearly missed the other day. Silly me. ANYWAY I recently bought a stupidly big-brimmed floppy summer hat, so I'd like to recommend that as a holiday necessity. My holidays usually necessitate a raincoat and wellies.
PS I have just got into Dexter (season 1) and I keep meaning to gush to people about how good the opening titles are...

Amy said...

I live in North Florida, but grew up in South Florida. Unless your sweat glands don't work, I would recommend mostly tank tops and short sleeved shirts. The humidity is like being in a sauna. If you burn super easily, you might want a lightweight long sleeve as a cover-up.

Also if you're truly trekking through the Everglades, wear old sneakers that can get muddy, not pleather boots that will fill up with water.

Definitely bring bug spray, lots of sun screen and a hat. and drink lots of water!

If you want recommendations on what to do/see in Florida, let me know where you'll be and I'll be happy to point you in the right direction!

http://amyinthedeepshade.blogspot.com/

Jenni said...

Esther Williams swimsuits are the bomb! I want everyone I know to own one.

Dexter is one of the best ever shows. I can't wait for season 4 to be available on Netflix! I'm sorry that your brothers compare you to Masuka, and I hope you have fun not dying on your vacation. :D

Princess Poochie said...

I grew up in Miami and lived there until my twenties. Then we moved to Orlando. I got the heck out of the state as fast as I could and plan on never going back to South Florida if I can avoid it.

What you need is:

Bugspray
Sunscreen
Hats
Parasols
Water

Since your dad likes bugs, he should be very happy.

If you need any reccos, let me know.

Cera said...

Ummm...yeah, pythons will always eat you from the head down and not only that, but even if you play dead (like it says to do in most manauls), pythons have a tendancy to make sure their prey is dead by putting the big squeeze on it anyway. So, my advice is to just avoid pythons whenever possible and remember, they're not poisonous, but they're fast and have big teeth.

Halesbales said...

Deb is my hero! I try to incorporate "shitstorm" in as many conversations as possible. We've watched Dexter religiously from the beginning of the series and only just found out about their marriage after the end of this last season. It was the type of discovery that makes you question your whole life and concept of the world as you know it...Anyway, I have just been turned on to Daddy Likey today (Thanks to Jen via Epbot!) and so far you're kickin a lot of the ass! Good stuff.

Blog Widget by LinkWithin