Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Breaking! Five Men's Fashion First Impressions: Redux

My last post (see below) sparked both Candid Cool and La Femme to request an emergency meeting of the men's minds. They want to know what the famous five think about this dress:

Not only was I intrigued by the idea of showing the men something less extreme, but also, if I go by the standard formula used by politicians (as I always do) that every opinion letter published in the newspaper represents 10,000 similar opinions, that means those two comments represent roughly 20,000 Daddy Likey readers that feel the same way, right? What's that you say? Egregious error in logic? I don't have anywhere close to 20,000 readers? Oh well. Two is enough.

The men seemed suspicious and nervous when I unveiled the picture, looking to me for a clue, whispering, "Is this supposed to be bad?" and offering me various bribes for the answer. I refused their offers, kept my opinion a secret (I guess it's a good thing they only pretend to read my blog or they would have known it), and this is what they said:

The Boyfriend: Perfect to wear to a Shakespearean play. I'm not sure I'm diggin' the sleeves...

The Father: It would be difficult for anyone under 6'5" to wear it. Otherwise, it looks nice.

Brother, age 19: Decent. I would sweat in it. I think the sash is played.

Brother, age 17: It looks really Arabian. Really Middle-Eastern. Really Jasmine-from-Aladdin-y.

Brother, age 12: It looks like someone took a pig and painted it magenta and scrunched it up and then tied it with a purple bow. It looks scrunchly [sic]. I don't like it.

So what have we learned here today?

-I should definitely break up with my boyfriend.

-If there is a possible right answer involved, straight men are terrified to pass judgment on clothes. My nineteen-year-old brother literally ran away from me multiple times after he realized that he couldn't just make a crack about how ugly it was. I guess there's good reason behind this fear, though (see first bullet point).

-Executives at Lucky magazine are probably going to read my seventeen-year-old brother's comment, say "This is the raw talent we've been looking for," and have him start work right away. That would be ironic-y, no?

-When my nineteen-year-old brother looks at an item of women's clothing, his first thought is apparently how much he would sweat in it if he were to don it for the day.

-Even though pretty much every morning when my mom asks my dad how she looks, he comes up with a really random and offensive thing to say, like, "That skirt is the exact color of squamulous lichen," he came through here with a sharp insight and a thumbs-up for the most perfect dress in the world. Go Dad!

-My little brother is obsessed with disturbing farm animal analogies.

-The men now take requests. If you find something you'd like them to weigh in on, email me a picture, grow a thick skin, and tune in for the next FMFFI! As always, you can reach me at

p.s. Thanks Candid and Femmey (that's my new pet name for you) for the inspiration.


Anonymous said...

i heart fmffi. they crack me up =)

Anonymous said...

As funny are the comments your family /boyfriend make, maybe they just need to see the garments being worn with by someone and with accessories. (I still love their opinions)

T.Ruby said...

As weird as the little brother comment about the scrunchly pig is, it is incredibly and impressively articulate and descriptive.

eurobrat said...

:D :D :D

Anonymous said...

I don't mean to be a traitor to my sex, but I agree with the men in your family. How can one pull off something like this without looking silly?

Candid Cool said...

thank you for the post!

somehow i had a feeling the men wouldn't like it.

Anonymous said...

i believe it is "squamous lichen".

Sonia Luna said...

Great post, ilaroious!

Stylish Thought said...

FMFFI is genius... always hilarious!

Amber said...

You've just gained another die-hard reader for life. Seriously. I've only recently come across this blog, but don't think I've ever seen any other fashion site with such a fresh, wry voice! Love it. And love the men in your family, haha.

-e said...

I recently went to a party where the hostess wore that very dress, albeit in black with a pink sash. It was worth every penny. So deliciously sophisticated yet very wearable. And she was well under 6'5".

Sonia Luna said...

... And so is my spelling! Or should that be tragic?!?

Anonymous said...

Replica Handbags
Fake Handbags
Knockoff Handbags

Replica Louis Vuitton Handbags
Replica Gucci Handbags
Replica Chanel Handbags
Prada Handbags
Replica Fendi Handbags
Replica Dolce Gabbana Handbags
Replica Chloe Handbags
Replica Jimmy Choo Handbags
Replica Thomas Wylde Handbags
Replica MiuMiu Handbags

Replica Balenciaga Handbags
Replica Coach Handbags
Replica Lancel Handbags
Replica Hermes Handbags
Replica Marc Jacobs Handbags
Replica Anya Hindmarch Handbags
Replica YSL Handbags
Replica Mulberry Handbags
Replica Givenchy Handbags
Replica Valentino Handbags
Replica Versace Handbags
Replica Cartier Handbags
Replica Marni Handbags
Replica Bottega Veneta Handbags
Replica Loewe Handbags
Replica Kooba Handbags

Replica Bally Handbags
Replica Burberry Handbags
Replica Christian Dior Handbags
Replica Juicy Couture Handbags
Replica Ferragamo Handbags
Replica Celine Handbags

Blog Widget by LinkWithin