Monday, September 14, 2009

Internal Shopping Monologue

When I saw this sweater hanging tragically from a Goodwill rack, the following thoughts flashed through my mind, in the following order:

1. Ha! What a silly sweater.
2. What the hell is USA University?
3. I bet this is from Korea. My friends who taught in Korea said a lot of the clothes there were printed with random English words like, "Egregious" or "Pancake" or "Egregious Pancake."
4. Oh look, the tag says it's from Korea.
5. Do I need to buy this to honor my friends who went to Korea?
7. But that blue is my favorite color, and it says USA University, and as far as I know that's a totally random phone number.
8. I think this might be the coolest sweater I've ever seen.
9. OK, say I do get it--am I prepared to have strangers squint at my boobs, then tilt their heads and say, "Where is USA university? Did you go there?"
10. Duh, I'm totally prepared for that. I will always say, "It's south of Canada University and north of Mexico University. In fact I did go there. Please see my lower abdomen for the phone number."
11. Oh my gosh that would be hilarious.
12. Plus I could pair it with my neon yellow jeans.
13. This is, like, a must buy.
14. All this rationalizing is making me hungry. I could go for a stack of egregious pancakes.

Outfit photos (probably) to come!


Jenna said...

SO freaking funny!!

Ali said...

heh, it's great that it's knitted too, not just some random print.
have you tried calling the number yet?

on a slightly related note, I noticed that our university sells hoodies that say "UTS SYDNEY" on the front. that's, University of Technology Sydney, Sydney. good one guys.

Tara said...

I bought a Halloween-themed knitted jumper, with similar reasoning. It went along the lines of "I could only wear this once a year" to "That would be the COOLEST DAY EVER!". Maybe we should start a club for Weirdly Awesome Thrift Store Sweaters Bought Under Even Weirder Reasoning.

Vanessa said...

Whoa. Whoooa. I am so glad you went through that whole internal process which lead you to buy that fantastical sweater. GOod call.

Anonymous said...

I teach in Korea and can assure you that is the sort of Engrish clothing we delight in! Personally, I refuse to wear any with the ever-present misspellings (your sweater is a find!) One of my students was wearing a shirt that said "Loco girl" the other day, and another had a shirt advertising "Petroleum Products." I once saw a preteen wearing a disturbing shirt with what appeared to be some sort of white supremacist manifesto. . . he had no idea. We've also seen children garbed in items with weird sexual innuendos, unbeknownst to them and their parents. No doubt we do the same thing when purchasing items with Asian script!

Kristen said...

Hahaha, great monologue. I would have had a similar one if I'd stumbled upon that sweater.

Lopi said...

Yeah, I'd get it too.

And if you ever stumble upon any totally cool incomprehensible-Greek-language-printed apparel, drop me an e-mail. I'll let you know whether you're making yourself a fool and how much.


FutureLint said...

Ha! What a random sweater... I of course love it!

C said...

Winona, this is the best thing ever. Wear it. Now.

House movers Melbourne said...

It’ a beautiful sweater it’s very informative.

Jobs said...

I like the colors.

Delia said...

OMG amazing! I would've bought it too, its so random!

Beth said...

@Ali bel- my school is named Binghamton, but sometimes gets misprinted as Binghampton. Nope, not on the end of long island. Although we may as well be, sometimes.

Anonymous said...

HAH! I DEMAND outfit shots. I just know you can make this bizarre-ass sweater look unbearably chic.

Anonymous said...

have you yet attempted to call 213-6051?

Antoinette said...

Hmmmmm... maybe something got lost in translation from 867-5309?

WendyB said...

I disagree with #1 on your list. That's obviously the best sweater in the world.

Jennifer Nicole said...

I agree: you really need to call that number.

Lisa said...

Outfit pics, outfit pics!!

Erin said...

i eagerly await the potential outfit pics. hopefully you'll be doing something outlandish...of korean-esque nature. like eating noodles.

Rosie Unknown said...

That is amazingly awesomely hilarious!

Anonymous said...

740 213 6051 cell ph., Alltell Comm. Woodsfield, OH Lat.:39.750, Long.:-81.110 At the corner of Fairview Rd. and Birch Dr. (GoogleEarth)
347 213 6051 Hanmi Bank, Judy Lee; SVP & Mgr. L.A.,Ca.
Keith Wallace, Wall St. Journal, advertising Dept. employee ph. list

Kaume'alani said...

Haha, I love it.

echidna girl said...

I'm very glad you bought this one of a kind sweater which clearly needs and deserves a good home.

jess said...

this is a pretty impressive Goodwill find. I certainly look forward to seeing how you will accessorize this piece of fashion history!

Amanda Nicole said...

Oh my goodness, yes! So glad you bought it, it's truly too good to pass up. Also, I went to Canada U, and we totally beat USA U in the finals.

Grace said...

I may be one of the few Koreans who read this and enjoy it as well. You are quite right that in many cases English phrases are totally hilarious. As some one up there(I am sorry I do not remember your name and I am tired of scrollling.)said some of the expressions are egrigariously embarrassing if you understand the meaning.
And also as was said the Asian languages written on some shirts and dresses, even the one from the famous brands, are really weird but not so wonderful becuase they are embarrassong.
This one here is about a former President who committed suicide and was designed by a Frech designer and the meaning is "The world where human beings live" (implying safe, free, democratic world).
Here you can see really funny korean expression on the t-shirts sold in a foriegn country. ( The firsr one says: Mineral water case; it does not make sense in English either and we do not use this expression. Quite genuine and creative and unique!

Fashion Court said...

that sweater is so badass. xoxo

blandon said...


etoilee8 said...

I finally met someone who rationalizes like I do. Yay!!!

Alecca Rox said...

dial the number first, see who answers...

(i'm in stitches:))))

Unknown said...

I had a t-shirt from a convention I went to at the University of Southern Alabama that had USA all over it...I kind of want to check their phone number. But I won't. If it made sense it might depreciate in coolness.

kadler said...

You are my hero for buying that. Thanks.

Anonymous said...



Claire said...

Hi, I came across your blog via academichic, and I just happen to be a grad student from Korea.
This posting made me laugh so hard!

Katie said...

HAHA. :)
I love your train of thought. xD

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