Once upon a time, I was looking through this very blog, admiring my own work as my expanding ego pressed gently against my skull. Drink it in, I thought to myself; the wit, the fame, the admirers...
My eyes soon wandered to one of the ads on the side of the page and I was abruptly stunned out of my narcissisticoma. A 70-year-old man in a knee-length fur coat was leering at me beneath a "Premium Chinchilla Fashions!" tagline. What the hell? Why was this man on my blog? Who invited him? I have no say in the ads that run here; they're assigned to match the content I write--so what in god's name had I written to warrant a chinchilla-coats-for-sexual-predators ad? Had I been sleep-blogging about the unsung merits of long and voluminous fur coats on men? Whatever the cause, this ad was extremely worrisome, and only after an exhaustive search of my archives for hidden pro-chinchilla propaganda and a few straight days of seeing only sensical fashion ads was my mind finally put at ease.
Then, yesterday, I was proofreading a post (I'm so over that narcissism stuff; I'm all business now), and what do I see but a bright pink banner declaring "I Love Liberace!" and a picture of said entertainer gleefully kicking up a hot pants clad leg. This was the final straw. I went to the website in the ad, the conveniently named iloveliberace.com, prepared to fight for the good name of my cyber-land. But something else happened. I saw this bag. And I kind of love it.
Does it get any cooler than a strangely patriotic dancing Liberace tote bag? No. It doesn't.
I will now be more tolerant of the leering, fur-loving pedophiles that appear in the sidebar, for this experience has taught me that in blog ads, as in life, it takes a few "Premium Chinchilla Fashions!" to find a Liberace in the rough.