It is time to acknowledge and celebrate my readers who are past the sequined minidress stage of their life. Not everyone who reads this blog is a fashion-crazy teen or twenty-year-old, and therefore this post (and many others to come in the future) goes out to all the lovely ladies who maybe don't share Martin's taste for all sequins all the time (or just want to see something they can realistically wear to the grocery store).
Today we shall focus on jeans. I hate shopping for jeans more than I hate getting my foot stuck in the steering wheel while driving in heavy traffic, not that that's ever happened to me. I think most women feel this way, as there are so many choices, not much guidance, and trying on the wrong fit or size can make you look like a muffin and that's not good for anyone's self esteem.
Before we talk about good jeans, let's talk about the bad. Ladies, it seems that every generation before mine has a troubling fixation with tapered jeans (lord knows my generation has its vices too--anyone want to talk about short shorts and velour trackpants with "Juicy" or "Hottie" written across the ass? No? Okay). Maybe you've seen the makeover shows where normal women are instantly transformed into Elle Macpherson lookalikes solely by switching their tapered jeans to bootcut. Maybe you've remained in denial, as my own mother did for way too long until she finally saw the light, threw out her massive cache of tapered Calvin Kleins and became a happy, passionate, and totally hot convert to the Good News that is bootcut. As I noted before in my own cautionary tale about skinny jeans, this is the horror of the tapered "mom jeans":
If you think you're ready to make the conversion, you'll need to be turned away by a rabbi three times (just kidding! Finding hot jeans is way easier than becoming a Jew), and then go to the store and look for bootcut jeans. My mom had no idea how to identify bootcut jeans when she first entered the brave new world of non-1980's denim, but usually it will say the cut somewhere on the tag, and if not, you're looking for a bit of a flare at the bottom. You can find this style everywhere in every brand, from Levi's to Calvin to Gloria Vanderbilt, but if you want to make a bit of an investment that you won't regret, allow me to introduce the succinctly named Not Your Daughter's Jeans:
These are "mom jeans" in the long-forgotten good sense of the word. They're made of premium denim, with a higher rise to avoid the muffin effect, and have a "Tummy Tuck" feature: "an exclusive crisscross weave to slim the tummy and shape the rear." Who can refuse an offer like that?
Not Your Daughter's Jeans Tummy Tuck Stretch Jeans (also in petite and plus and many different colors and styles), $88, Nordstrom
For a more casual ensemble, just add one of the few things from J. Crew that normal people can still afford:
Perfect-fit long-sleeve crewneck tee, 22.50
And an amazing necklace:
Eliza necklace, Agapantha, $108, girlshop.com
Or for a little dressier look, try this shirt:
God it's pretty, isn't it? It's perfect for any age. Even if you just like it a little, go to the website and check out a bigger picture for the details, and then I swear you'll love it.
BCBGirls "Jennifer" shirt, $58, nordstrom.com
And finally, these shoes are the fabulous, comfy, and amazingly cheap grand finale to both casual and dressy outfits:
Don't they look expensive?
Jeri flats, $29, delias.com
More to come!